


An Unexpected Journey.

by deni269



Series: The Walking Deth [1]
Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Daryl hating himself, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fallible Birth Control Methods, Pecans, baths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-28
Updated: 2014-05-28
Packaged: 2018-01-15 06:31:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 57,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1294969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deni269/pseuds/deni269
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when Daryl and Beth are unexpectedly thrown together? A canon inspired story. Part 1 of a series.</p><p>*Warning- Full of spoilers from season 4<br/>Disclaimer: I don't own the walking dead. the tv series, the comic book, the game. I'm just a fan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Burning wishes

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy :) Comment and send kudos to inspire me to write more.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl teaches Beth some basic survival skills

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's that new beginning a promised.

What was a journal for anyway? A place to keep your thoughts, wishes and dreams? The only thoughts I had were of my father's head, half removed from his body by the blade of the Katana, or of Luke's tiny shoe among a puddle of blood and bodily sludge. The only wish that I still had was to stay alive, and the only dreams I had were nightmares. The pages were still crisp and clean, waiting for words that would never be written. So what did it matter if I tore them out and tossed them to the fire?

And what a pitiful fire it was. Fed by twigs and dry leaves and unfulfilled wishes; It provided enough light so we could see our immediate surrounds when the moon slipped behind the clouds, but it did not provide any heat. It was getting cold now as the season changed from fall to winter, and as the night made its way to morning. I didn't have time to pack up a sweater when I left the prison, all I had were the clothes on my back, the bits and pieces in kept in my pockets, and the boots on my feet.

I rubbed along the gooseflesh on my arms trying to press the tiny bumps down, and turned my eyes to Daryl, who was staring into the flames seemingly oblivious to the cold. Daryl didn't feel anything. He didn't feel hunger, or pain, or loss, He just stomped through the woods with a constant dour expression on his face.

His steel blue eyes lifted and glared into mine as I glowered at him.

"I'mma get some rest." He grunted the words through barely moving lips, as he brushed away the leaves and bark, to make himself a dirt bed.

"How can you even sleep? After what we saw today…after what's happened."

"I'm fuckin' tired! Been runnin' 'round all day chasin' after shit yer never gon' find. Tryna catch hope for somethin' that ain't out there… Been tryna protect your dumbass e'ry time you stopped usin' yer damn head and walked straight into a mothafuckin' walkers hands, like you wanna make out with 'im or somethin'."

I scowled at him. It had only been two walkers I had walked into. Only two.

He shifted uncomfortably under my glare.

"Wake me up when the moon's real bright." He pointed to the full moon high above the tree canopy, and then went to his back placing his hands behind his head, and turning his elbows to the night sky.

I should just get up and leave him while he sleeps, let him make out with the walkers…No. That was a terrible thought to have.

I would have liked to get out with Maggie. She would have held me and told me everything was going to be okay. Or Sasha. She would have at least spoken to me in full, intelligible sentences. Even Carl would have made for better company, when he wasn't throwing goofy eyes my way. Rick might have been able to keep me safe. But none of them would have kept me alive as well as Daryl had. He had already proven that twice today…or maybe three times, but who's counting?

I looked over the foul mouthed, asshole of a redneck; unbathed, unshaven, and wrapped in tattered clothing. His face looked peaceful slackened with sleep, and he was kind of cute when he wasn't scowling. His grime and sweat covered biceps, flexed by his ears, glistened in the moonlight. He wasn't friendly, and he wasn't gentle. He was hard, and rough and he was strong, and that was exactly what I needed right now.

"Thank you." I whispered in to the darkness.

"You say somethin'?" He grunted, as he opened his eyes and turned toward me.

"…No."

By the time the moon was at its brightest; The usually muggy air had become crisp and frozen. I had tried adding bark and dried leaves to the fire, in my attempt to make it bigger but it just seemed to shake and shrivel. Panicking about losing the flame, I started blowing at it frantically and fanning it with my hand.

"Don't you know how to build no fire?" Daryl sat up, groaned and stretched.

I drew my flailing hands back in to my body. "I was just about to wake you."

Daryl poked at the fire with a stick he had collected from his side.

"Shoulda woke me up 'fore you touched it. Nothin' but sparks now."

I pouted into the night feeling more useless than normal.

Daryl's shadowy eyes glanced up at me.

"Come over 'ere." He beckoned to me with a wave of his hand. I got to my knees and crawled over to his side of the fire.

"You got your tinder right? That holds the spark."

He pointed at the leaf and grass covered ground.

"You can use bark, dead grass, dead leaves anything dead…but no walkers…too large." His eyebrows raised and he smirked at me.

He reached across my waist and pulled out the knife I had strapped to my hip.

"If you rub along bark like this." He began running the knife up and down a piece of bark sharply, and a grainy, fibrous powder started tumbling to the earth. He put his forefinger in the powder and rubbed it on his thumb. "You get a powder that makes good tinder. It's what I used on 'ere…before you killed it." He pointed into the dying embers.

"Then you need some kindling." He grabbed a handful of twigs and started arranging them on the red embers of what used to be a fire. "Twigs, bits of wood, cardboard if you have it." He reached over for a piece of dead branch, and a sharp rock that was nearby. "If ya need to break up a chunk of wood, an' you have no knife or tools, you can hold it like this." He put the piece of wood between his boots. "And you hit it hard on top until it starts to spilt." He demonstrated it for me and then tore the branch in two when a crack had formed.

"Then you need your fuel. Bulky pieces of wood, dry grass, dried shit if you can get it and don' mind touchin' it. Good for farmin' good for fire." He tossed some larger pieces of wood onto the fire that was already licking hungrily at the kindling.

"You got that?" He glanced up at me and I nodded in reply.

"If you ain't got no lighter, you can use that trick they show ya on TV, with the glass and the sun. That shit is real they don't make it up. You just gotta focus the light into the tinder." He pointed to his pile of bark powder. "Then you blow on it, just a little, not too much." he reached out and pulled my hand towards his face, he turned my wrist so my palm was upwards and gently blew on to it.

'Like this."

A curious shiver ran up my spine.

"What if there is no sun?" I said as I quickly withdrew my hand and glanced up to the bright full moon.

"You'll have to hand drill it. That's hard as fuck. 'specially if you got soft girl hands. Best hope I'm there to help you out…" He sniggered playfully while showing me the rough callouses in his hands. "Or you best be makin' you're fire 'fore it gets dark."

I nodded again.

"You know how to build a fire pit?"

I stared at him blankly.

"Nah 'course ya don't."

Daryl began scooping his hands into the dirt by his feet until he had made a foot wide circular ditch. He pointed into the ditch.

"You build your fire in there." He moved a foot away from the ditch and started working his hand down in to the ground, scooping out piles of dirt, puffing and panting and flexing his arm, until it was underground and his hand was poking through the original hole he had dug. "This hole 'ere gets the air to your fire. Fire needs air to breathe." He looked up at me and raised his eyebrow to me like I was a simpleton.

"I know that." I really did.

"This larger hole will protect yer fire from the wind." He pointed to his original ditch. "Also makes less smoke and less light. Handy if you're tryna stay hidden or some shit."

I nodded again, wondering who we would have to hide from next.

Daryl dusted of the dirt from his hands and then scooted over to the side revealing the soft patch of dirt that followed the shape of his body.

"You get some shut eye now ya hear?"

Sitting alone in the darkness had been more exhausting than I had thought. My eyes felt heavy and my body felt weak. I probably could sleep if I tried really hard.

I shifted into the groove he had left behind and lay down in it, curling into a ball. The fire was burning stronger now but the air moving through the trees was still cold. I tucked my hands between my thighs trying to keep them warm and then pressed my eyes closed. I knew my trembling body would prevent me from ever getting any sleep and I huffed impatiently.

"What's a matter?" Daryl asked.

"It's darn cold out here." I mumbled though chattering teeth.

"Move closer to the fire then."

I raised my head and looked to my blood encrusted boots that were showered in orange light.

"If I get any closer I'm gonna set myself alight."

Daryl grumbled in agreement.

I twitched with discomfort as I thought about asking him for something that would be awkward for the both of us.

"Do you think you could…maybe…sit closer…to me?"

He sighed heavily and then I heard a shifting of leaves as he moved in closer to me so his hip was pressed against my curled back.

"That okay?"

His hip was warm, but it wasn't doing me much good pressed against such a small part of my back. I rolled over in the ditch and curved myself around his legs.

"This okay?" I asked glancing up at him.

He nodded. "Yeah."

I wrapped an arm around his waist.

"How about this?"

He hesitated for a moment. "Guess so."

I closed my eyes and nuzzled into the leather pressed against his firm, strong back. I squeezed my arm around his lean and tight abdomen. I inhaled his comforting smell of dirt, and sweat and man. The heat from his body radiated through my hands, up my arms and over my shoulders and swirled around in my belly. But the hottest fire pulsated, throbbed and burned between my legs.

I woke to Daryl kicking my boot with the gentleness and affection only Daryl Dixon could show.

"You wanna eat or not." He growled while shoving a portion of charred meat in to my face.

I sat up and reluctantly took it off him and picked at it, while I glared at his stupid, sexy, sullen face.

"You left me to hunt?" I asked.

"Nah, dumb fucker ran straight in front o' me."

I chewed on the dry overcooked squirrel meet, thinking about how lucky I was to be stuck with the hunter of the group.

I had barely finished the last mouthful when he stomped past me and flicked his hand into the air beckoning me to follow.

I pouted at his grumpy disposition and then pulled myself to my feet. I picked out the leaves and twigs that were tangled through my hair, and tossed them towards the extinguished fire, wondering if it would be enough to re-ignite it.

I followed Daryl through the trees stepping over the carcasses of two walkers that were only a few yards away from where I slept.

"Shit. Did you kill them last night?" I asked staring down on them.

"Yep." He replied bluntly.

"Why didn't you wake me?" I asked.

"I took care of it." He snapped. I screwed up my face and flipped the bird at the white wings on the back of his vest. Damn grump he was in the morning.

He stopped in his tracks and turned to me.

"…you looked too peaceful to wake." he added, in a much softer tone. And I felt guilty about the bird.

I followed Daryl through the bushes and trees, moving as he moved, stopping when he stopped and crouching to examine the earth when he did.

"You followin' the tracks of the others?" I asked after about an hour of trudging through the trees.

"Nuh. Our next meal." He said bluntly. "But if you don' keep your darn mouth shut, we won't be havin' anythin'."

I let him walk ahead a few paces and flipped the bird to his back again. He snapped his head around and I stuck my hand behind my back, and looked up to the clouds in the sky innocently.

Whatever Daryl was tracking it lead us towards a creek bed swollen with water that lapped against the sun baking shale rocks.

Daryl went over and started filling up his water bottle and drank from it.

"Aren't you gonna boil that first?" I asked.

"With what Martha Stewart? You hidin' a pot in your panties?" He took another swig of the dirty water.

"If you get dysentery, don't blame me." I sniped as I walked down to the creek to wash my hands and face.

"You die of dehydration, don't blame me." He retorted.

"You are such an ass." I grumbled over my shoulder.

"Yep, but I ain't thirsty."

I screwed up my face as I looked away from him and down to my boots. They were still covered in the blood of the children I had taken care of for months. I slipped them off and began scrubbing them, using my fingers, in the water.

"That's a waste o' time, only gonna get dirty again." Daryl said standing over me and looking at my wet hands rubbing over my boots.

I looked him over. It was obviously his attitude to washing in general. He was always a complete mess. I doubted if he had even showered once when we were back at the prison.

"Not all of us like to wallow in our own fifth." I snapped up at him.

Daryl shrugged and stepped away from me and paced along the bank of the creek, looking at the rocks and creek-weeds that were tossed about by the movement of the water.

I pulled my socks off, and then shimmied my jeans down my hips.

"What the fuck are you doin' now?" Daryl said glaring over his shoulder at me.

"I'm bathing, you should try it some time."

"That fuckin' waters gonna be colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra in January, I can tell you that right now. You'll freeze your own mothafuckin' tits off."

I blushed a little at the mention of my breasts. "I don't care. We've been runnin' for days. I'm covered in sweat and blood, and god knows what else." I collected another pile of leaves from my hair. "A bit of cold water might do us good. Might do us both good."

I slipped my tank off, and tossed it to the dirt at my feet.

Daryl averted his eyes as I stood there in my bra and panties. I didn't even care what he saw. He had already stood mere yards away from me while I went to the bathroom, there was no modesty between us anymore.

I edged my way in to the water biting back my gasps and yelps as Daryl was proven right. I ducked my shoulders down into the water and started rubbing at my body trying to be as quick as possible before my tits did actually freeze off.

Daryl could see how cold I was and he sat down on the flat rocks watching me with a satisfied smirk on his lips.

I flipped the bird in his direction under the water, and then froze still as something long dark and slimy gripped on to my thigh.


	2. Water Walkers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl and Beth take a walk through water.

Beth suddenly started shrieking and thrashing through the water sending out a foam of white around her. I stood up, swung my Stryker off my shoulder and aimed it into the water by her feet, trying to peer through the white wash to see what had grabbed her. I couldn't see shit all with all the waves she was making so I tossed my Stryker to the bank, grabbed my Busse and bounded into the water, boots and all. It was a risky move; the whole creek bed could have been swarming with underwater walkers, but I wasn't losing her, she was all I had left, there was no point carrying on without her.

Beth kicked her legs through the water as she moved towards me, and then passed me heading for the bank, as she squealed and wailed and threw her hands wildly in the air. I looked back to the spot where she had started screaming and waited for something to emerge and follow her, but nothing did. Now that her thrashing wasn't ruining the view, I could see through the clear rippling water, and there was nothing but sand, school-fish and weeds.

"What the fuck, Greene?"

I wading through the water, sloshing my heavy boots that had sunk down into the bed like it was quick sand. I slopped them onto the bank and over to her wet and flailing body, wondering what all the fuss was about. I looked to the place she was grabbing at on her thigh to see it was nothing but a fat black leech. One fucking leech, and she screams loud enough to call every walker in ten miles.

"It's just a fuckin' leech. Ain't you a country girl? You tellin' me you ain't seen 'em before?"

Her fingers flipped and flopped frantically over it as she tried to grip it.

"Nooo! I swam in the dam, and there were no leeches, and I…I can't get it off." She shrieked.

"Keep it down." I urged. "You gotta get your nail, under the sucker."

"I can't. It's all slimy and my hands are all numb and cold." She wailed.

"Shit, girl."

I pushed her down on to the ground, parted her thighs and dove in pushing one hand against her skin and slipping the dirty and cracked nail of the other hand under the head of the leech. I pulled the leech between my thumb and forefinger and twisted its head back, then flung it to the ground letting it pop in a small puddle of blood. I looked back to Beth sitting on the ground with a line of watered-down blood trickling from the bite down her leg and towards her…fuck. I could see everything! Her panties were see-through and they pressed up against every curve and line and…bump…of her peaches and cream skin. I could even make out the golden hair that curled there.

I ripped my eyes away and clamoured backward, then rolled to my front hoping to hide what was moving around in my pants.

"That was gross." Beth whimpered.

"Yeah…gross." I agreed.

Dead Walkers. Dead Walkers. Dead Walkers.

Fuck. I couldn't think of walkers, all I could think of was Beth's wet…fuck! It was hard as stone now. I needed to ice it quick smart. I kicked off my sodden boots, tore out my belt, ripped off my vest, and started unbuttoning my shirt.

"Might take that bath after all."

Beth averted her eyes and turned her back to me, as I dumped my everything to the ground and made my way into the water. I left my jeans on, seeing as they were already soaked, and I didn't want her seeing my raging boner. Beth kept her back to me anyway, which was cool, as it meant she wouldn't see all my scars and start asking questions.

"Watch out for leeches." She called over her shoulder.

I scrubbed myself under the water, loosening my pants and forcing my hand down to give my balls a much needed clean. I gave my cock a squeeze to help it go down, before I made my way back to the bank. Beth was still sitting with her back to me, shivering in the shade of a tree.

I picked up my wet boots and gear and walked over to the shale rocks that ran along the deeper part of the creek, and dropped myself down, watching as the water leaked out of my pants and ran along my feet and down the rock returning to the creek.

"Sit over 'ere you'll dry faster than a cat can lick its ass." I called to the trembling Beth sitting by the tree.

Beth looked over her shoulder to me, nodded her head and then followed me over to the rocks and dropped down beside me. Still only wearing her transparent underwear. That was a dumb as fuck idea, telling her to get closer to me.

"Oh wow, it's so warm." She lay on her back and covered her eyes from the glare of the sun with her forearms.

"This is real nice ain't it, laying in the sun, all clean and stuff?" She mumbled, with a pleased smile on her face.

I looked over her pale skin, beaded with droplets of creek water, and glistening in the sunlight. All I knew was that if her hard, pink nipples poking through the wet cotton on her bra didn't soften soon, I was gonna need another dip in the creek.

I must have dozed off while lying on those rocks, drying off, as the sun had now disappeared from the sky. It was a stupid thing to do, fall asleep like that, but I had only had a few hours' sleep the night before, and none at all the night before that. I had been woken by the leaves shifting and branches and twigs cracking. I sat up to see a dozen or so walkers pouring out from the tree growth and towards us.

Beth's mother fucking squeals over that damn leech had drawn a shit tonne of them to us.

"Get your shit!" I called to Beth as I shook her awake.

Beth rolled to her feet and then rushed over to her clothes and started frantically pulling them on. I pulled my boots on and slipped on my shirt and vest, not bothering to button up and then picked up my Stryker and got a shot off on a walker that was getting dangerously close to Beth. She packed up her notebook and all the other bits and pieces she carried around, and raced to my side.

"Oh dear lord!" She gasped as she looked over the few dozen walkers that were now swarming towards us. "How are we gonna…"

I pushed her in her back to get her to start moving ahead.

"Just don't look back."

We dodged and weaved through the trees and bushes, with the herd of walkers on our tail. We had managed to get a lead on them, but we had been running for a while and Beth's pace was beginning to slow. We would need to stop soon, before she collapsed and became walker feed.

We managed to break through the dense tree growth to find ourselves on a road covered in tossed dead leaves and twigs, with a wrecking car directly in front of us.

Beth made for the driver's side and checked the ignition while I kept my Stryker cocked and ready. The engine didn't turn over as I had expected, and the piece of shit had the driver's door half broken off, so I popped the trunk and motioned for Beth to hop in, and I climbed in after her.

The trunk definitely wasn't made for two bodies and a crossbow so it was pretty tight in there. Beth's little legs were pressed against mine and trembling either from exhaustion or fear. I pulled the top down and wrapped the cloth around the latch of the lock to keep it down. Then I raised my Stryker and aimed it towards the half inch opening in case a walker somehow managed to knock it open.

I could hear the growls and snarls of just a few walkers at first, but then the snarls grew in to a roar. From what I could see in the moonlight the whole road was covered in dead walking bodies, like bees on a hive. They pushed against the car as they passed, tossing Beth and I around like rag dolls. If the top didn't hold, we were walker meat for sure. Beth gripped my Busse to her chest with both hands and squeezed her eyes shut, her lips moving in silent prayer. I knew now that her trembles were from fear more than anything else.

The herd seemed to continue on forever, and they were still swarming late in the night. Now, mixed in with the roar of walkers, was the roar of thunder, and flashes of lightning lit up the trunk sporadically.

Beth was crying now, her whole body shaking in a rhythm with the rocking trunk. I wanted to comfort her in some way, tell her it was going to be okay, but I couldn't drop out of attack mode. And I really didn't know how to make a girl feel better, so I just kept staring out into the night.

When the herd had thinned out and the growls and snarls had started to settle. Beth's breathing started to regulate, and her trembles started to still. From the corner of my eye I could see her big blues scanning over my bow and then to my arms, to my shoulders and resting on my face. Her lips turned into a smile and I glanced in her direction wondering what she was smiling about. The smile fell from her face and she pulled her eyes away from mine and stared down at my Busse on her chest.

A few moments after that, she glanced back up at me with questioning eyes. I guessed she wanted to open the trunk, it was getting quite stuffy and cramped, but there was still the odd walker out there, so I held up a finger and told her to wait, and she nodded, accepting my decision.

Beth gave a yawn and then glanced at me again asking for my approval, and I nodded to her, telling her to go ahead and sleep. She shifted her shoulders into the fabric lining of the trunk and then pressed her eyes shut, and her breathes became long and deep and I could tell she had dozed off.

I kept watch until the sun had risen and it started to swelter inside the metal trunk. Sweat was collecting on my brow and dripping down in to my eyes, but I didn't move my hands from my Stryker, I didn't think I could, I had been holding so still my arms had grown stiff.

I looked over Beth's sweat covered body and noted the way the fabric of her tank clung to her skin, shaping around her small firm breasts, and I could feel another part of my body getting stiff too.

I coughed a little trying to shake away my less than wholesome thoughts of the mechanics of fucking in a trunk, and then Beth's eyes flickered open and caught me staring at her. I turned back to the empty day lit road, but still watched her from the corner of my eye. What was she? sixteen - seventeen? Hershel would have my balls if he were here and knew my thoughts. She was like a sweet Georgia peach, dangling from the tree of forbidden fruit. Forget all the other dumb shit I had done in my life, my thoughts were sending me straight to hell.

Beth wiped the sweat from her brow and then wriggled herself forward and unwrapped the rag. The top creaked open letting in sunlight and fresh air, and I forced my stiff arms to drop my Stryker and stretch out.

Beth climbed out first, crawling over me, and turning her backside into my face. I let my eyes linger on it for a bit, before my dick started to stir again, and I thought I best get out and start moving around before I got…stiff…again.

I searched around the wreckage of the car looking for anything we could use to set up a camp. Beth sifted through some of the broken car parts and collected a mirror and a piece of glass.

"That to do your face up?" I sniped.

She scoffed. "No. It's to build a fire."

So she had remembered my fire making lesson after all.


	3. Proof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth wonders if High-Proof liquor is enough to prove herself.

It had been about an hour or two after dusk when he had pulled open the trunk and motioned for me to hop in. I wondered how we would both fit in there comfortably, but we didn't have time to argue, the herd that had followed from the creek was only moments away.

The first couple of hours of the night were terrifying. The growls and snarls from the walkers were deafening. I had held all the muscles of my body tight with an anxious tension that left me achy. I had been gripping on to Daryl's knife until my knuckles turned blue, and I had lost all feeling in my fingers. My breath, when I remembered to breathe, was ragged and laborious. I kept envisioning a walker knocking the trunk open and they would all swarm in to devour Daryl and I. It was not a nice thought. That whole time Daryl kept himself cool, calm and collected, watching through the small opening, ready and waiting for whatever may come.

When the herd of walkers sounded like it was thinning out I had allowed myself to relax a little more. The moonlight was seeping through the gap of the trunk opening, only about half an inch, and it was casting a narrow line of light over Daryl's cool blue, stern eyes that were still peering outside. His legs were pressed up against mine, providing me with a somewhat familiar and comforting warmth, and another feeling similar to what I had felt when his hands were all over my thigh, that I wasn't sure I should be having.

I was struggling to stay awake by that point. I didn't know how Daryl was so alert, eyes unblinking, finger resting unmoving on the trigger of his crossbow, like a sentinel on watch. He was like my own personal guardian, and I knew if he wasn't here then I wouldn't have survived. He fed me and protected me even though he didn't have to. I knew that it would be hard for him, dragging around some kid. A kid who didn't know how to build a fire, or who screamed at the sight of leeches, who knew nothing much but how to farm and sing and how to take care of a baby. None of which were skills that we had need of now. Yet here he was again sacrificing himself for me, playing guard while I struggled to keep my eyes open.

I felt the smile grow on my face as the thoughts of him ran through my head. Daryl Dixon my rough, tough, rugged and muscled protector. For the first time since we had climbed in, his eyes slid away from the light and studied my face with a mild curiosity. Probably wondering what I found so amusing in this life threatening situation. His eyes only lingered on mine for a few seconds but they had already sent a jolt of the exhilarating feeling of wanting and desire.

I had dozed off some time after that, with curious thoughts of him on my mind. I wondered what it would feel like to have my whole body pressed against his as our legs were pressed together now. What would it feel like to have his hot breath across my neck or his rough hands on my waist? What would if feel like to have a grown man inside me? When I woke, from my unexpectedly pleasant dreams, I found Daryl was still staring outside. I didn't think he had slept at all, if he had, I hadn't seen it. The sun had come up now and it was starting to swelter inside the metal box. I wiped the sweat that had begun to drip from my brow, and noted the sweat that was beading on Daryl's forehead and streaming in rivulets down his cheeks and catching in his hair. I hadn't heard any walkers for some time now, and from what I could see out in the daylight there were none around, so I unwrapped the cloth holding the top down and climbed out, with Daryl squinting at the daylight, right behind me.

We scavenged around the wreckage of the car looking for anything we could use to make camp. I collected a mirror and a piece of glass I could use to make a fire, the way Daryl had taught me, and Daryl collected other bits and pieces he thought were useful. When we were done scavenging, we moved onwards through the trees so we could find a place to make camp and think about having some breakfast.

While Daryl went off hunting squirrel, I made a fire using the tips he had given me. I wondered if he would be impressed with what I had learnt. If he was, he probably wouldn't say anything.

I was somewhat amused when I caught Daryl pulling the skin of that snake. Amused and a little grossed out.

"What is that?" I had asked, scared of what his answer was going to be.

"Breakfast." He had replied matter of factly, like snake meat was the most commonly eaten food in the world.

I screwed up my nose in disgust, yet my stomach still grumbled with the pang of hunger, I had learnt not to be fussy over the last couple of years.

Daryl sat in his usual way, as far away from me as possible. I guess that was his thing, keeping people away, both physically and emotionally. Any time he was forced to be close to me or touch me, he groaned and grunted and recoiled away, like you normally would the snake I had just eaten.

I watched him and wondered what he might think of me. Judging by present body language he still saw me as some annoying sixteen year old that he and his group were forced to live with for survival. I wasn't worth getting to know. I wasn't important, I didn't fight, I didn't hunt, I couldn't track. I was just some tag along kid that he could do just fine without. Only problem was I wasn't a kid anymore, I was eighteen now, an adult in many respects, an adult just like him, and I only wished he could see me that way.

I didn't know how I was going to make him see me as an adult, there wasn't much I could do to prove I was an equal to him. Adults took care of themselves, and clearly I wasn't very good at that. They had jobs, but my only job had been to take care of the children. Adults drank alcohol, but that was something we were fresh out of. Although…

"I need a drink." I stated flatly. The words had slipped from my mouth before I was able to give them much thought.

Without even looking at me Daryl grabbed the dirty, green bottle of creek water and flung it over towards me.

I tossed it to the side.

"No I mean a real drink - as in alcohol." I elaborated.

He didn't respond. That was typical Daryl. Either silence or inappropriate smart ass remarks. He just sat there tearing into the snake meat. I couldn't even tell if he was listening to me.

"I've never had one…'cause of my dad…but he's not, exactly, around anymore so…" I dropped my eyes as I thought about daddy, and his words of advice I would never hear again. Daryl continued to ignore me.

"I thought we could go find some." I waited for the response, I was never going to get. "…okay, well enjoy your snake jerky." I stood up, walked over and pulled his knife from its spot in the fallen tree branch, and marched off into the trees.

I trudges through the woods, stepping over logs, and stumps and low bushes, wondering if he was going to follow me. I stopped and looked back to the camp to see he was still sitting there tearing at his snake.

"Jerk." I muttered to the trees.

I continued on alone working my way through the trees until I spotted four walkers. I could probably avoid them easily, but I still had that nervous feeling in my stomach, and I still kinda wished I had Daryl to back me up. I managed to distract them with a rock and the four of them stumbled off in the other direction. I heard a twig snap behind me and turned to find that Daryl had decided to follow me after all. As angry as I had been at him before for ignoring me, I was glad he was here with me. I followed him gratefully as he led the way.

The grateful feeling dissipated when my legs tangled in Daryl's trap and I realised he was leading me back to the crappy little camp we had made.

"I'm not staying in this suck-ass camp!" I flipped him the bird and turned away.

He gripped my hand firmly in his rough, hot hands and I pulled out of his grip.

"Hey! You had your fun." He growled.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Do you feel anythin'?"

Daryl glared at me angrily.

"Yeah you think everythin' is screwed, I guess that's a feelin'. So you wanna spend the rest of our lives starin' into a fire and eatin' mud snakes? Screw that! We might as well do somethin'." Daryl's eyes softened a little and I wondered what he would think about the 'somethin' I really wanted to do.

"I can take care of myself and I'm going to get a damn drink." I turned around and stomped off in the direction I had come from.

A few moments later I heard the familiar and comforting sound of his boots crunching the leaves behind me.

"You even twenty-one?" He growled from behind me.

"I'm eighteen. But I don't think anyone's gonna be hangin' 'round askin' to see ID."

I heard him snort with amusement behind me. "Guess not."

We came to a huge open field that I guessed used to be a golf course, but the grass was so overgrown now, it wouldn't be recognisable as one. Across the field I could see a run-down country club.

"Golfers like to booze it up right?" I asked turning to Daryl. He just glared at the group of walkers stumbling towards us. So I continued on ahead.

When we first got inside I had heard the snarls of walkers and we had prepared ourselves for an onslaught, but the sound had come from walkers who had tried hanging themselves. They were no threat, but I didn't like to leave them hanging there like that.

"We should finish them." I had suggested.

"What for?" Daryl said bluntly while he poked around the room, searching for supplies.

"We can't just leave them hanging there."

"Why not?"

I stepped towards them and tried to think how I was going to do it, they were quite high up, and if I got any closer they would be able to get a hold of me.

"You can shoot 'em. With your arrows." I pointed at his crossbow.

"I ain't gonna waste no arrows on 'em." He pointed up at the hanging, moving corpses. "Too much fuckin' 'round to get 'em back."

"So we're just gonna leave em?"

"Yeah."

Did I really expect anything else from Daryl Dixon? He was great at protecting humans, but he seemed to care little for humanity.

There were other bodies there, all in varying states of decay. No more walkers though, so they must have all had a more successful attempt at suicide than our hanging friends. I searched for anything of use finding a souvenir spoon from Washington and a small knife and putting them in my pockets. Daryl was rummaging around stuffing jewellery and valuables into a bag. What he wanted to do with that, I had no idea. Money and riches were a thing of the past. Now you were rich if you were living.

The snarling of more walkers outside prompted us to pick up the pace and delve deeper into the country club.

There wasn't much to see. People had obviously tried to hold out in there as long as possible and the place smelt of festering bodies, and stale air. The place was a mess, filled with bags of trash, rotting food, and dozens of disappointingly empty bottles. I did find a bottle of what I assumed was red wine but before I even got to open it and smell what was inside a walker had sprung out and I had to use the bottle to defend myself, breaking it over the walkers skull, and forcing the jagged edges of glass into its face. After a struggle I finished it off with the knife I had found earlier. I turned to find Daryl had been watching me struggle with it.

"Thanks for the help."

"You said you could take care o' yourself, you did."

He walked off, and I questioned myself on why I even still found that asshole attractive.

After some more searching around we came across the pro shop. It was filled with racks of dorky old golfer clothes but there was a cute yellow tee that caught my attention. It had been weeks since I had changed my clothes and even longer since I had worn anything this nice.

I grabbed a tee and a knitted white cardigan to go with it. I took them behind a dressing screen, but there were boxes and piles of clothing in the way so I couldn't get completely behind there. It was no matter, Daryl had already seen just about everything during the time we spent in the woods. Daryl seemed pretty pre-occupied with the til, but I sensed eyes on me when I had taken off my old sweaty and stained tank. I turned around and caught a glimpse of Daryl peering at me in my topless state. He took his eyes off me the second I looked at them, and I felt the heat creep into my cheeks along with a satisfied smirk.

The fresh clothes didn't last for long. A group of walkers had chased us into the locker room, and Daryl had decided to finish one off with a golf club. I had been standing in prime position and the finishing blow had sent walker brains all over my new outfit. I took off the cardigan and left it on the floor. There was no room for wearing white in this world anymore anyway.

We finally made it to the bar and I searched through the dozens of glass bottles trying to find anything drinkable. I found a mostly empty bottle of peach schnapps. It sounded nice, but Daryl reckons it wasn't. I searched around for a clean glass while Daryl did his usual thing. Ignored me. He was playing darts throwing them at portraits on the wall, he hadn't even spared me a glance since we had got in the room.

I looked into the bottle of my journeys intention, and thought about how much this was not like how I wanted it to be. My first drink might have been with my friends down at the creek. Maybe even Maggie would have let me have my first drink with her. It would have been with someone I cared about and who cared about me, but now there was just me and Daryl. Daryl who seemed like he hated me, who thought I was just some unshakable pain in the ass.

I was feeling lost and alone. Daryl had been good company, as far as keeping me alive, but I missed being actually cared about. I missed Maggie and Judith and I especially missed my dad. I started sobbing while I rubbed me hands over the bottle, wishing for things I would never have.

My thoughts were interrupted by a dirty hand reaching in front of me and grabbing the bottle. Daryl stalked away holding the bottle of schnapps and angrily threw it to the ground destroying it and its contents.

He waved his hand angrily towards the smashed bottle.

"Ain't gonna have your first drink be no damn peach schnapps."

Daryl had led me to a dump of a cabin come moonshine still. The cabin looked like it had been a dump even before the turn. It was filthy and smelt like old gym socks, and it was riddled with rubbish and junk. Daryl scouted the place out while I put the crate down inside on the small camp table. He found a glass for me and blew out the dust and then opened one of the jars and poured the contents in to the glass.

"That's a real first drink right there." he said, nodding to the glass that now held moonshine.

I was a little hesitant. I had heard a lot about moonshine. That it was highly flammable and lethal in high doses.

"Whatsa matter?" Daryl asked while I stared at the glass.

"Nothin'…It's just…my dad always said bad moonshine can make you blind."

"Nothin' worth seein' out there anymore anyway."

That was true. And it was alcohol and that was what I wanted. I couldn't chicken out now and prove to Daryl that deep down I was still just a child. So I took a swig.

It was awful. I don't think I had ever tasted anything so awful. It burnt my nose and my throat and made my eyes water and it took all my stubborn determination not to spit it straight back out. Come on Beth this is what you need to do to prove yourself, just drink it. The second swig wasn't so bad, I had probably burnt all my tastebuds away.

I grabbed the jar and started pouring another drink.

"Whoa slow down."

"This one's for you." I beamed up at Daryl.

"Nah, I'm good."

"Why?"

"Someone's gotta keep watch."

What was the point of that? Me sitting here getting drunk by myself while he just watched. I was hoping maybe if we drank together it would bring us closer, that was what alcohol did right? I was really getting sick of this open space between us that he didn't seem to want to cross, and all my efforts to bring us closer together were just being ignored or brushed away.

"So what you're like my chaperone now?" Seemingly pointing out the fact that he was so much older than me.

"Just drink lots of water." He suggested. I wasn't even sure if he was playing.

I was still just a kid to him.

"Yes, Mr Dixon." I replied sardonically.

Daryl secured the cabin ready for the night, boarding up the windows and preparing an escape route. I was enjoying the feeling of warmth that was creeping through my body and the buzzing feeling in my head. It also seemed to call more attention to the deeper, tight clenching sensation that burned between my legs every time I looked over at Daryl, as I watched his muscles flex, nailed boards into the wall.

I tried to shake the feeling and turned my attention to the wacky and crazy knick knacks that littered the cabin. I wondered what kind of people had lived here.

"My dad, that's who."

I lowered my eyes, hoping I hadn't offended him.

"He's a dumbass. He'd set those things up on top of the TV set and use them as target practice"

"He shot things inside your house?" What kind of dumbass had raised this man in front of me?

Daryl gave me a description of the purpose of some of the junk in the room. It had no purpose really, just stuff to break and shoot at. Daryl and I really did come from completely different worlds. Maybe that why it was so hard for us to get close to each other.

A walker had found its way to the outside of the cabin and was snarling outside. We agreed that we would leave it be for now, which left us pretty much trapped inside for the time being. That was enough to convince Daryl to have a drink with me, since there was nothing else he could do really. We raised our glasses, and I wondered what a drunk Daryl would be like.


	4. Burning wishes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What would a drunk Daryl be like? Beth is about to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really have never drunk Moonshine.

"So first I say something I've never done, and if you have done it you drink, and if you haven't I drink - then we switch"

I couldn't believe he had never played this game. It seemed like every one of drinking age knew how to play it.

I started off with an easy one.

"I've never shot a crossbow. So now you drink."

Daryl reached for his jar.

"Ain't much of a game."

"That was a warm up. Now you go."

He groaned and chewed on the side of his finger as he thought.

"I've never been outside of Georgia."

"Really? Okay good one."

I took another swig.

"I've never been drunk and did something I regretted."

Daryl took a big swig.

"I've done alotta things." he said with a quirk of his brow.

"Your turn."

"I've never…braided my hair."

He was getting good at this game. More rounds like that one and I wouldn't be able to walk.

"I've never had sex." I said it so bluntly, I even shocked myself. I couldn't help it, watching him rub against the hair on his chin in a curiously sexy way, it popped into my mind and just slipped out my mouth.

I watched him carefully for his re-action. His eyes quickly left my gaze and he took the jar straight to his lips. He tipped it back and took in a large gulp, then another, then another. I wondered what this display was all about. Was he insinuating he was very experienced in that department, or had my statement made him uncomfortable?

I thought he was going to empty the jar. But he put it down, with about a half inch left in the bottom, and then tentatively looked back at my face.

"Never?"

I shook my head.

"Not with Jimmy? Or with Zach?"

I was surprised he even remembered their names. Hearing them again brought a lump to my throat. I washed it away with a quick swig of the moonshine and swallowed hard.

"With Jimmy we never did, because of my dad. Jimmy respected him. And I did too. Plus I was too young _then_." I flicked my eyes up to his wondering if he got the hint.

"And with Zach - well we did fool around a bit." I could feel myself blushing with the thought of doing night watch together at the prison. The kissing, and touching and rubbing. I had moved pretty fast with Zach, just because I wanted to feel that kind of connection with someone, and I knew our time could be short together. Zach had wanted to do more.

"We never really could, you know. 'Cause Dad and Maggie were always around, and even though we had our own cells, we were still in a room with a dozen other people."

Daryl gave a nod. He had chosen to sleep in a cell away from everyone else. He didn't really like being close to people.

We sat in an uncomfortable silence for what felt like an hour but it was probably closer to a few seconds. Daryl was chewing on his finger, and darting his eyes all over the room nervously.

"It's your turn." I finally piped up, trying to break the tension.

Daryl began rubbing the hair on his chin between his thumb and forefinger thoughtfully.

"I've never been on vacation."

"Wait - what about camping?"

Daryl shook his head. "Nah. That's just somethin' I had to learn - to hunt."

"Your dad teach you?

Daryl lowered his eyes and groaned thoughtfully. I couldn't tell if that was a yes or a no.

"Okay." I said bringing the glass of moonshine to my lips and having another drink. I had to think of another question now. A good one.

"I've never been in jail." I said, watching Daryl's eyes. His hands that were fidgeting by his face stopped as he glared back at me. "I mean as a prisoner." I added. Of course I had been in jail, I had only just left one.

I waited for his answer. All I got was a cold stare. Perhaps that was the wrong question to ask?

"Is that what you think of me?" He finally grunted.

_You better back track quick smart, Beth._

"I didn't mean anythin' serious, I just thought you know, like the drunk tank. Even my dad got locked up with that - back in the day."

Daryl flicked his finger angrily to my glass.

"Drink up." He demanded.

I couldn't believe that. I had heard all about what him and Merle got up to, there was no way he hadn't spent time in prison. Unless he never got caught, or knew the right people.

"Wait -Prison guard. Were you a prison guard…before?" Zach had a theory he was involved with law enforcement. I guess that would help keep him out of jail, despite having a brother like Merle.

He was silent for a while, watching me with cold eyes. I didn't know what was taking him so long to reply, it's not like he wouldn't be able to remember.

He finally shook his head and answered. "No."

His glare was making me uncomfortable now.

"It's your turn again" I said trying to shift some of the discomfort.

He stood up and stalked over towards the kitchen area. "I gotta take a piss." He informed me aggressively.

And there he went, over to the corner of the cabin ready to do his business…inside. It was beyond awkward. I tried to avert my eyes, although I had seen it before out in the woods, I was still mildly curious. It must have been the moonshine messing with me, being curious of a man going to the toilet. My curious thoughts were soon broken by the shattering jar Daryl had dropped on the floor deliberately. He was really drunk. And now I was in a world of trouble.

"You have to be quiet!" I urged.

"Can't hear you, I'm takin' a piss." he yelled.

"Daryl, don't talk so loud." I whispered, trying to encourage him to keep it down.

"What are you my chaperone now?" He yelled over his shoulder while the contents of his bladder emptied on to the already filthy floor.

I looked back to my glass and waited for him to finish. He zipped up and swaggered back over to me.

"Oh wait. It's my turn right? I never ahh." he looked down on me. "I've never eaten frozen yogurt… I've never had a pet pony…I've never Got nothin' from Santa clause."

He shoved the nearby chair angrily, so that it rocked back and grinded on the floor.

"Never relied on anyone for protection before."

I lowered my eyes knowing he was directing that remark at me.

"Hell, I've never relied on anyone for anythin'." He stalked over to my angrily throwing his arm in the air.

"Daryl…"

"Never sung out in front of a big group in public, like everythin' was fun, like it was some big game…I sure as hell never cut my wrists looking for attention!"

My shoulders heaved as I tried to find the courage to stand up and slap him in his loud mouth, drunken, obnoxious face.

Before I could do anything I heard the growls of walkers at the back door.

"Sounds like our friend decided to call some of his buddies."

"Daryl shut up!"

"Hey you never shot a crossbow before?" he pointed at me. "I'm gonna teach you right now. C'mon"

He grabbed me by my wrist and dragged me to the front door.

Once outside he shot the walker that had been lingering around, through the shoulder, pinning him to a nearby tree. He tried to force the crossbow into my arms before taking another shot at it himself. I had to put a stop to this mad drunken rage. I stepped forward and ended the walker with a knife blow to the head.

"What the hell you do that for? I was havin' fun."

"No you were being a jack-ass." I shrieked. "If anyone found my dad…"

"Don't! That ain't even remotely the same."

"Killing them is not supposed to be fun."

"What do you want from me girl, huh?"

"I want you to stop acting like you don't give a crap about anythin' like nothin' we went through matters…Like none of the people we lost meant anythin' to you…It's bullshit!"

"Is that what you think?"

"That's what I know."

"You don't know nothin'."

"I know you look at me and you just see another dead girl…I'm not Michonne, I'm not Carol I'm not Maggie…I survived and you don't get it 'cause I'm not like you or them, but I made it. And you don't get to treat me like crap just because your…afraid!"

"I ain't afraid of nothin'."

"I remember. When that little girl came out of the barn , after my mom. You were like me. And now god forbid you let anyone get to close."

"Too close, huh? You know all about that. Lost two boyfriends and You can't even shed a tear. Your whole family's gone and all you can do is go looking for hooch like some dumb college bitch."

"Screw you, you don't get it."

He stepped aggressively towards me. "No you don't get it. Everyone we know is dead!"

"You don't know that!"

"Might as well be 'cause you ain't ever gonna see 'em again. Rick…you ain't ever gonna see Maggie again."

I tried grabbing hold of him, hoping I could stop him if I held him tight enough. "Daryl stop."

He pulled out of my grip. "No!"

He stumbled away from me. "Governor rolled right up to our gates…Maybe if I wouldn't've of stopped lookin'…Maybe 'cause I gave up. That's on me!"

"Daryl." I tried to grab him again.

"Your dad…Maybe…maybe I could've done somethin'."

I stepped towards him and forcefully wrapped my arms around him from behind, pouring all my support into my embrace. When I felt him sobbing in my grip, I knew that as much as he tried to throw up his walls, deep inside he was feeling the pain just as much as I was. I held him to me tight, not wanting to let him go, and wanting him to know I was there for him. After a few seconds of sobbing he turned around and returned the embrace. Sobbing into my hair with his broad shoulders heaving. I felt myself start to sob too, and then _he_ was the one stroking my hair and gently telling me to hush.

I lingered in the embrace, enjoyed the warmth of him, and the smell of him. It was like sweat and dry grass. It reminded me of back home when the men were out turning the bails. Otis and my dad, Shawn…Jimmy. The feeling of being held like this was not something I wanted to let go of anytime soon. I felt the strength of his back, and of his arms around me that were thick with muscle. This was the big strong Daryl, hard Daryl. The one we relied on for protection, the one we relied on for just about everything, and here he was in my arms, Breaking down in tears.

* * *

We stood out there in an embrace for what seemed like hours, before we felt the sun leave us and the chill of the night approach.

"My backs aching somethin' fierce." Daryl groaned, as he leaned away from me.

I pulled away from his hold and allowed him to stretch out a bit. "Think we should go up, and take a seat." He motioned to the porch of the cabin. I nodded in agreement and followed him around.

Daryl went back into the cabin, letting the wooden screen door slam behind him, while I climbed up on to the porch. He came back out with a fresh jar of moonshine, and handed it over to me.

"Are you tryin' to get me drunk?" I asked playfully

He dropped himself down on the moss covered wooden boards, put his back to one of the weathered posts and pulled out his knife from its sheath. I dropped down and rested on a post opposite him.

"I thought you might already be there by now." Daryl's eyes dropped to the knife in his hands.

"Yeah I'm there. I think I just handle it better than you." I teased.

"I did drink more, an' faster than you." He tried to reason.

I shrugged and took the lid off the jar and took a swig at it. Daryl started fiddling with his knife, sticking it in between the planks of wood on the porch, and digging out the grit.

"I get why my dad stopped drinking." I said

He looked up at me and studied my face.

"Feel sick?" He asked.

"Nope." I felt pretty good actually. I felt warm inside, and free, and comfortable, and the sight of Daryl playing casually with his knife was getting me a little…excited.

"I wish I could feel like this all the time." I admitted with a smile. Imagine it, me, free and comfortable, and excited all the time.

I chuckled to myself. "That's bad"

Daryl looked like he was turning the idea over in his mind.

"You're lucky you're a happy drunk."

"Yeah I'm lucky. Some people can be real jerks when they drink." I teased.

Daryl lowered his eyes guiltily to his knife, lifted it and started picking away at the wood on a post in front of him.

"Yeah I'm a dick, when I'm drunk." His lips twitched hinting at a smile. I wished he would smile. He looked nice when he did, cute even, but it was such a rare sight. Almost as rare as him talking about his feelings. My gaze must have been making him uncomfortable because he quickly looked away and started telling me a story about his brother Merle and some tweeker he knew, whatever that was. Judging by the story it was someone who was crazy, probably a drug user. Merle had upset the tweeker over something he saw on the TV, and Merle and Daryl had got into an argument with him that ended up with Daryl having a gun pulled to his head. Daryl ended up puking and they tweeker laughed at him. Daryl gave a little smirk as he talked about it. But I didn't think it was funny at all. The life Daryl lived before kind of scared me, and I felt sorry for what Daryl had been through.

"You wanna know where I was before all this?" He asked me when he had finished his story.

I gave him an encouraging look. Of course I wanted to know.

"I was just driftin' 'round - with Merle. Doing whatever he said we were gonna be doin' that day." He looked in to the distance and I could see the sorrow in his face again.

"I was nobody. Nothin'." He looked sadly to the floor boards. "Just some redneck asshole with an even bigger asshole for a brother."

He blinked sadly into the night, and I wondered if he was going to cry again.

"You miss him don't you?" I asked.

He didn't answer, just looked around uncomfortably.

"I Miss Maggie…I miss her bossing me around." I chuckled. "I miss my big brother, Shawn; he was so annoying and overprotective…And my dad. I thought…I hoped he would just live the rest of his life in peace. I thought Maggie and Glenn would have a baby, and he would get to be a grandpa. And wed have birthdays and holidays and summer picnics…and he'd get really old…and it would happen, but it would be quiet…It'd be okay. He'd be surrounded by people he loved." I looked to the deteriorated ceiling of porch and tried to hold back the tears that were brewing. "That's how unbelievably stupid I am."

I reached for my glass of moonshine needing another drink to regain my composure, and not wanting to turn into a weak blubbering mess that Daryl had to take care of again.

"That's how it's supposed to be." Daryl tried to reassure me.

"I wish I could just…change."

"You did." Daryl insisted.

"Not enough…Not like you. It's like you were made for the way things are now."

"Nah, I'm just used to this. Things being ugly. Growing up in a place like this." He looked back to the rundown cabin."

"But you got away from it."

Daryl shook his head. "I didn't."

"You did." I insisted.

"Think you gotta keep on remindin' me sometimes."

"No." I grinned at him. "You can't depend on anybody for anythin' right?"

Daryl kept his eyes down.

"I'll be gone someday." I pointed out.

"Stop." He replied quickly.

"I will." I insisted. "You're gonna be the last man standing."

He didn't look too pleased by that either.

"You are." I asserted. Daryl looked up at me with a face full of misery.

"You're gonna miss me so bad when I'm gone Daryl Dixon." I pushed a little further. I know I would miss the hell outta him if he was gone. Or maybe it was just the drink talking.

"You ain't a happy drunk at all."

"Yeah I'm happy, I'm just not blind." I said with a warm smile.

"You gotta stay who you are…Not who you were. Places like this...you have to put it away."

"What if you can't?"

"You _have_ to…or it kills you." I pointed to my heart. "Here." I said with a smile.

His eyes went to my hand on my chest and he started chewing on his lip. His eyes made their way from my chest over my collar and to my face and he gazed into my eyes. Feeling suddenly self-conscious, I rubbed the dry tears from my eyes and rubbed my fingers through my hair.

"I look like crap when I cry." I said with a chuckle.

"You're the best looking thing I've seen in— well— at least a week."

He grinned at me and I smiled back.

"You look pretty good yourself." I told him, and watched as colour grew on his chiselled cheeks. His grin grew wider, and if I didn't know any better I would say there was a hint of coyness in that grin.

"You look like a girl I knew back home. Before. When I was younger."

"I do?"

"Yeah, well she was small, blonde - pretty." He cocked his brows on pretty. Perhaps the drink was talking for him too.

"Was she your girlfriend?"

He hesitated for a moment. "I never really had no girlfriend…but she was somethin' like that." He glanced down at his knife and then pushing it into the crack so it stood by itself.

"Do you think you'll find someone again, like that?"

He shrugged. "Hard to say." His eyes met mine and my heart skipped a beat as I felt a surge of desire run through me.

"Right now, I'm kinda limited for choice."

I pushed his knee away playfully with my boot and a wide grin spread across his face.

"Yeah not many girls around…or boys." I chewed on my lip, feeling a little nervous about making a move on him. "We've lost a lot of people" I said carefully.

Daryl was staring at the knife on the porch. I repositioned myself onto my knees and sat back on to my boots. I was now looking right at his lowered eyes.

"We could be the last ones left." I murmured. That was the kind of cynicism that usually came from him, but we could just be the last ones left…we could.

He looked up into my eyes.

"We don't know that." He murmured. Sounding a little more like my positive self.

"We don't know anythin'. We don't know if we're the last. We don't know if one of us will be gone tomorrow. We don't know if both of us will be gone." There I was with the cynicism again. I spent a second focusing on stopping myself from bursting into tears again.

He was still looking in my eyes but the intensity had grown. Did he know where I was heading with this?

"I don't want to die…I don't want to die without experiencing everything I could." I held up the jar in my hand, and took a swig an swallowed, hoping courage would come with it. "This was a start."

I was leaning in closer to him now and I was aware of his eyes drifting over my collar bones and downward where I could imagine a hint of my bra could be seen.

"I don't want to die…never even havin'…sex" I murmured. Did I really just say that? Was I suggesting sex with Daryl Dixon?

He let out an uncomfortable cough and then ran his thumb and forefinger over the course hair growing on his chin.

"You're…" He coughed again like he was choking on his words. "Gimme some of that shine." He leaned forward and took a big gulp of the moonshine. He hovered over me for a moment while he studied the jar. Then he out it to the ground on the other side of me. Then he put his hand behind my head and drew me in for a kiss.

It was rough at first, when he mashed his dry and hard lips in against mine. I opened my mouth a little so I could take his lips in mine and I found his tongue suddenly thrust into my mouth. I responded with my own tongue trying to be as delicate as possible despite his forcefulness. He crawled over me pushing me down by the shoulder, on to the floor below him. My head was down on the rotten and musty smelling wooden planks, and my came up to either side of him. I could feel a growing bulge pushing between my thighs, and my pulse started to rush as wondered if this was really happening, and if I really wanted it to.

His kisses were rough and wet. His tongue tasted like charred snake and moonshine, and his hair smelt of stale sweat. His mouth was moving against mine hungrily mouthing against my tongue and lips. He had one hand moving up the back of my shirt and cupping me on the back just below my shoulder blade. His other hand made its way up my front finding its way to my right breast and giving it a squeeze.

It was a gentle squeeze, and it didn't hurt, but I found an involuntary yelp escaping my mouth. I hadn't been touched in such a way in quite some time, and it was a bit of a shock. The second the yelp left my lips I felt his body freeze against me. My lip was in his mouth, his hands over my breast, and the bulge in his pants was still pushing between my legs.

He let out a long sigh and then moved his mouth away. I felt his warmth pull away and watched as he crawled backwards to sit on the floor once more. He rested his hands on his upturned knees and looked at me.

"Ain't havin' your first time be like this." He said tipping his head towards me.

I pushed myself upwards and supported my weight with my arms.

"Like what?"

"Like this?" He said, motioning towards the ruined cabin. "Here, in this shit-hole?" He grabbed a hold of his shirt and tugged on it. It was stained with sweat, mud and god knows what else. "With this ass-hole." He took a look at himself. "I ain't had a proper wash in days, and you can hardly count a dip in the creek as a proper wash."

"Neither have I." I reminded him.

He shook his head. "I'm old enough to be your daddy."

I laughed. "Hardly. My dad was in his seventies. He could be _your_ daddy." Daryl didn't look convinced. He pushed himself up to standing position and looked down on me like a child.

"You're not doin' it 'ere - With me - by a fuckin' moonshine still." He said, waving his arm around towards the shed. "We're gonna find the others." He said in a gentler voice. "And we're gonna find another safe place, like the prison. And there's gonna be other people there, other people your own age, and you'll find a boy you like and you'll get a nice, halfway clean fuckin' room and you'll do it then."

"Daryl I…" I tried to say I wanted to do it with him, but he cut me off.

"I gotta go." He said while moving towards the porch steps. " I gotta take a piss." He added, then glanced back at me. "You should try to get some rest." He said, motioning towards the cabin door. "We'll leave at dawn."

Before I could say anything else he was down the step and walking out into the surrounding trees. A feeling of worry rose in my chest as I thought of him alone in the dark. Then I remembered, it was Daryl.

I wasn't going to argue the point. The mood had been lost now, and I wasn't sure if I had really wanted it anyway. There was a definite warmth between my legs, but my whole body was warm and tingling. I didn't know if I was making choices or if the drink was making them for me.

I made my way back into the cabin and picked up a colourful loosely woven blanket, that was crumpled up on the floor. I lay down on the dirty floor and rolled the blanket up in a ball and placed it under my head. It was actually the most comfortable and safe I had felt in a while and I could feel the warmth from the moonshine churning through my body. It wasn't long before I was drifting off to sleep.

* * *

I woke sometime before dawn. It was still quite dark out, although the sky was turning a lighter shade of grey, as the sun moved towards a new horizon. My head was spinning a little and when I went to sit up I could feel the effect of the moonshine hadn't quite wore off. I was just relieved I hadn't woken up blind.

Daryl was sitting in the old recliner. His head tilted back, a soft snoring sound escaping his lips. I think this had been the first time we had both slept at the same time, since leaving the prison. He looked so peaceful laying there with his jaw slack, and his hands resting on the arms of the recliner. His crossbow was propped up against the front of the recliner in easy reach in case danger were to approach, and his shirt was tucked behind the grip of his knife. I found myself tracing the line of his body with my eyes. His muscular calves and thighs pressing against his jeans. The bands of muscle that stretched around his forearms. His toned upper arms and broad shoulders, they were quite spectacular. I studied his peaceful face, and the fine lines that were smoothed with sleep. I took in the hairs on his chin, his defined cheek bones, and the scars around his face. He was rough looking, but the roughness was becoming on him. I could feel my body stir with warmth. The same way it did last night when I was drinking the moonshine.

I wanted him. I didn't care about finding other guys, I didn't even care about a clean room. I just wanted to be with him. I needed to feel a connection with him, to feel something deeper than friendship. And he had to want me too. His body gave it away last night when he was pressed against me.

What the hell were we waiting for anyway? What I said last night was true. Either one of us could be gone any moment. We may never reach the others. We may never find this safe place we spoke about. But right here, right now in this room we were safe and we were together. It seemed like a perfect time to me.

I quietly got up, losing my balance a little as I stood. I waited a moment for my head to stop spinning and then moved to stand before him. I was not quite sure how I was going to make the suggestion to him again. I didn't want him to reject me again. I examined the dirty chair, stained and with the stuffing starting to come loose. There would be room for my legs by the side of his, if I dared to put them there. I took a deep breath and threw caution to the wind.

I found myself climbing on top of him straddling my legs on either side of his. The chair had tipped back as I made my approach and he awoke startled. His initial reaction was to reach for his crossbow, but then he must have realised someone was on top of him because he went straight for my throat trying to push me away with a look of rage on his face.

"Daryl" I gasped, trying to pry his fingers away. It took a second for him to realise what was going on and loosen his grip.

"What the fuck are you doin' Greene?" He growled.

I tried my best at showing my desire through my gaze, with lowered eye lids and pursed lips.

"I _could_ die today." I said softly and suggestively.

"Beth…" He groaned, but before he could finish I had my mouth pressed against his, prying my tongue inside to push against his. He still tasted of moonshine, although it had a more stale taste to it now. It was a little sour, but it didn't take long before the stale taste gave way to a taste that was sweeter and more exhilarating.

I felt his tension ease as I pulled my body against him, and then he was returning the kiss, rolling his own tongue around in my mouth. I moved my hands off his shoulders and brought them to the buttons on my shirt and began to undo them.

Daryl suddenly drew away. His hands were now on mine, stopping my movement.

"You sure you wanna do this?" He asked.

"Yes." I rasped, bringing my mouth back to his.

His hands took over, undoing my tee hastily and then pulling it along with my tank over my head and throwing it to the floor. He moved in to kiss me again, passionately. His hands were on my bare hips now. They were warm and a little clammy, and rough with callouses. They made their way up from my hips to the small of my back to my waist and then to my mid back before finding the clasp on my bra and undoing it in one smooth movement.

He slipped that off my arms and threw it on to the floor with my tee and tank. I felt a chill across my back, and it certainly wasn't because I was cold. Daryl's body was warm against me and the touch of his hands all over my body felt like hot stones against my skin. It was the feeling of exposure. I had never been this naked around any guy I was interested in.

I decided it was only fair that we were wearing the same amount of clothing so I pulled his vest down off his shoulders, and he pulled it behind him to finish the job and that too joined my clothes on the floor. Then I fumbled away at the buttons of his shirt, and he helped me with that too. I admired his chest for a bit, trim and smooth, with light wisps of hair growing in patches all over. I ran my hands up his chest and over his shoulders, and down his arms, pressing myself into the warmth of his body and feeling every toned lump and bump.

"Stand up." He breathed in to my ear.

I obliged and stood before him, between his legs, topless and a little self-conscious. My small breasts were just above his eye level where he was seated on the chair. He smiled at my efforts to cover them up and then pulled my hands away gently while he moved forward and started placing fluttering kisses all over my chest, breasts and abdomen.

He loosened my belt and moved his hands down to the fly of my jeans, popping the button open and pulling the zip down. His hands then moved to my hips and began shimmying my jeans and underwear together down past my thighs. I felt really exposed now. The soft golden brown hair of my pubic area was directly there in front of his face. I helped him to pull my jeans off, pulling one leg down collecting my boot along with it and dropping it to the floor. I took the other leg out the same way leaning on his shoulder for support. And there I was standing completely naked before him.

As he looked me over I heard a low groan escape his lips and I noticed his throat bob as he swallowed. He moved in again towards my breasts, and this time took my nipple in his mouth. I gasped at this new sensation as his tongue twirled around Turning my nipple into a little pink pebble. I gasped again when I felt his hands down below, running through the tuft of hair and then gingerly making their way to the entrance between my legs. I could feel how wet I was already as his fingers moved over the area spreading the slick moisture around. I moaned as he found a special spot at the top, with his thumb, and began to rub it. I gasped again as I felt another finger slip just inside of me, teasing my opening. For a split second I thought of how dirty he had been, but I couldn't focus on it for long as his fingers and thumb worked their magic. I could see now why he took that long gulp when we were playing the 'I never' game. He certainly knew what he was doing. I enjoyed the warm and throbbing sensation that was growing in the area and without intention I found my hands running through his scalp and pulling on his hair firmly.

The orgasm caught me off guard. It felt hot at first and then it almost felt like an explosion down below. I could feel my body shudder as the nerve endings began firing off into the palm of his hand. I knew now why they used fireworks to suggest sex in those old movies daddy liked to watch, because that was exactly what it felt like.

I found that I was gasping for air when I finally came to my senses and looked down on Daryl's smirking face. He loosened his belt and undid he buttons on his jeans. He leaned back in the chair and lifting himself using his shoulders and pulled his jeans off sliding them down over his thighs and over his knees. I tried to stifle a laugh as his erection sprung free of its binds, and flicked back and hit his naval. He pulled his boots off and then kicked the jeans off and to the side. Then his hands were back to my waist and he drew me in closer. I lifted my trembling legs one after the other and found them on either side of his once more, and I was kneeling above him. His face was below my breasts and looking up at me.

"You still doin' okay?" He asked.

I nodded, unsure if I was capable of speech. He drew me in closer and holding my thigh just below my buttocks he lowered me down, using a hand to position himself below me. I could feel the end of him pressed against my moist opening, and I gulped in anticipation.

"We'll go slow okay?"

I nodded again, and then gasped deeply as he pushed his way in to me. It hurt a little, first like he was pressing against something that didn't want to give, and then like I was being stretched too far, but as I slid down I could feel my body adjusting to accommodate him. He pulled me down until our pelvises were locked together and I couldn't take any more of him in me.

"Still okay?"

"Just shut the fuck up!" I burst out eagerly.

He gave me a smirk and then holding on to my backside began to rock my hips back and forth. I joined in with the motion, relishing in the aching sensation of him deep inside me. His mouth was on my collarbone, tracing moist kisses up and down. My hands were entwined in his hair, pulling whenever he made me squirm in delight. The pain was completely gone now, taken over by that warm tingling, clenching sensation I had enjoyed earlier. I found gasps and moans and all types of unusual sounds I had never made before, escaping my lips. They were met by his lower and more controlled groans, as he pulled my fragile body against his.

Just when I thought I couldn't handle any more he spoke up again.

"I'm going to go faster now."

I nodded in agreement. He grasped firmly on my backside and shifted from a slow rocking to a bouncing movement, drawing himself in and out of me. He was slow at first and then faster and faster, until I was moaning again as I felt the deep shudders climb to a peak and take over my body. Almost at the same time he lifted me up and off himself. Then I felt a warmness spurting out over my abdomen. I looked down to see he was holding himself while he spat warm pinkish liquid on to me, there were thin strands of red in it. Blood. I guess the fooling around with Zach had left me more of a virgin than I thought.

I was glad he had thought to stop when he did, as it had never crossed my mind to think about protection. We all knew the dangers of having babies at this time. I tried to push the thoughts from my mind and bought myself back to the present, to a panting Daryl sitting beneath me.

"Hop up." He rasped, pushing me back gently.

I obeyed and got off him and stood back, holding myself between my legs and appreciating the aching sensation that still dwelled there. He got off the chair stumbling a little before finding his feet, and began looking around on the floor. As he turned I took in the sight of his back. Toned like the rest of him, and there were two tattoos. I had seen them before, from a distance, and thought they were dragons, but now on closer inspection I could see they were demons of some sort. I also noticed several long deep scars along his back. I hadn't seen them before, and they didn't look like the typical hunting type scars. I wanted to ask more about them, but perhaps that was another subject not worth bringing up at the present time.

He grabbed the blanket I had used as a pillow and began gently wiping the mess off my abdomen.

"Sorry." He said. "We gotta be careful you know? We don't want…"

"I know." I interrupted. I didn't really want to talk about that right now. When he had finished cleaning me up he threw the blanket to the ground and gently kissed my neck working his way up to my chin and then to my face.

"You best get dressed now, Greene." He murmured into my ear. "I can hear walkers outside." That was a sure way to kill the romance.

He took my face in between his rough and calloused hands and looked me directly in the eye with a devilish smirk curling his lips. "I think they could hear you moanin' ten miles away."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Important Note* I must do my civil duty and inform you all that the withdrawal (pull out) method of contraception IS NOT fail safe.


	5. Be Good.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl is starting to have the morning after regrets, and he tries to think of a way to let Beth down gently. They come across a pristine funeral home and he starts to think what life might be like with her if they could live happily ever after? Could another good thing be ripped away from him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song used in this is called 'Be good' by Waxahatchee, and it was a cover Emily did within the episode.

"I think I'm gonna be sick." Beth muttered before clasping her hand over her mouth.

That would be the moonshine. I had been a pretty shitty chaperone. I knew she had hardly eaten a thing that day, I didn't remind her to drink water, I got drunk myself and turned into an ass, I let her lose control of herself and then I fucked her.

_You're a real piece of work Daryl Dixon._

Beth took a few steps off the leave covered path we had been following, and bent over pushing her hands to her knees and began puking into the bushes. I went up behind her and held the hair that hung loose from her pony tail out of the way. It was the least I could do really, since this was all my fault.

I knew I had let her drink way too much, I knew that in the morning when she climbed on top of me she was still pretty lit. I didn't even let her get a decent sleep, she hadn't eaten anything the next day and now a whole day later she was still sick.

Beth wiped over her face and mouth with the back of her sleeve. That dirty sweater we had pulled off a walker, after she kept complaining of the cold. It wouldn't be helping ease her stomach wiping her face all over it.

"That feels better." She declared with a sigh and then straightened herself to a stand. She pointed to the spot she had been puking on the ground.

"There's that snake again." She joked with a tired chuckle. At least she could still have a sense of humour about it.

I looked down at her puke. I couldn't see nothing but liquid and leaves.

"Just looks like a shit-tonne of moonshine to me."

"Yeah I probably drank too much."

"Yeah I shoulda stopped you. Guess you had ta get drunk and do somethin' you regret though, right?"

I remembered it as something she had said while we played that stupid 'I never' game.

She turned around and smiled at me.

"I didn't regret anythin' Daryl." I lowered my eyes, feeling guilty as hell about what happened. And the look she was giving me was making me uncomfortable. It was like she was happy about it all. It just didn't sit right with me. Girls didn't seem happy after fucking with me unless it involved Merle giving them Crystal, Acid or E for their troubles. She stepped forward and bent down trying to look into my eyes.

"Do _you_ regret it, Daryl?"

It felt good at the time. Fucking good. It had been years since I had been with anyone, and decades since I had been with someone as sweet as her, but looking back at it now, it was a stupid fucking thing to do. What the fuck was Maggie going to say? She would probably fucking kill me, and then Glenn would kill my rotting corpse just for Maggie's sake. And Rick what the fuck would he think? I had only just gained his respect. If this had have happened a few years back he'd be throwing my sorry ass in jail. And Michonne and Carol, if we ever found her, they would think I was just some creep preying on the young and innocent.

She was still looking at me waiting for an answer. So I swung my Stryker off my shoulder, held it by the grip and stock, and pushed it toward her, she stood up and took it in her arms.

"I'm gonna teach ya how to shoot some sticks today." It seemed like a good enough distraction.

"Geez it sure is heavy." She groaned as she passed it hand to hand trying to get a good grip on it.

"You should try, drawing it. You'll prob'ly snap them twig arms of your 'fore you got it half way."

Beth looked the crossbow over.

"Is it drawn?"

I chuckled at her.

"Yeah Greene, its drawn for ya, you just point and shoot."

"Like this?" She asked as she raised it and moved the crossbow in my direction.

"Whoa." I said as I ducked out of the way and pushed the bow away from my face.

She giggled. "I was just messin' with you."

"Yeah, well don't mess about with deadly weapons and shit, okay?"

"Yes, Mr Dixon." She replied with a sly smile on her lips.

"Right…keep the stock to your shoulder." I pushed the stock so it fit into the fleshy part of her shoulder. "line up your target 'ere." I pointed at the sight. "Pull this trigger and let 'er fly."

"What am I gonna shoot?" She asked while she peered down the sight.

I walked over to the nearest pine, pulled out my Busse and dug an X in the bark.

"Try hittin' that."

I walked back over to her and put my arms around her back and lifted up her elbow. And leant into her ear.

"Take a breath in and, breath it out as you draw in the trigger, don't jerk it, and be prepared for a lil' kickback." I murmured not wanting to break her concentration.

She did as I told her and sent the bolt flying straight into the middle of the X.

I gapped at the bolt stuck in the tree for a moment. She turned her head towards me, with a satisfied grin on her face.

"Like that, Mr Dixon?"

I couldn't help but smile at her. "Yeah smart-ass. Let's see you draw it now."

She looked over the crossbow like it was an exotic zoo animal.

"Put it to the ground and put your foot in here." I said pointing to the stirrup.

She did as she was told, then looked up at me waiting for the next move.

"Now put your hands here, and pull it back to here." I smirked at her knowing there was no way she could do it.

"Good…lord…that's…tough." She strained back on the string and her arms started wobbling like Jell-O. I stepped behind her and put my hands by hers and pulled back on it until it clicked into the latch and tipping her up a little as her foot loosened in the stirrup.

She turned her face in to me, and fluttered a kiss against my cheek.

"No wonder your arms are so impressive." She murmured. I blushed and stepped away from her, and her brow creased into a slight frown.

"How 'bout tracking." She called to my turned back. I looked back to her.

"What about it?"

"Can you teach me that? You're a real good teacher." She smiled at me again and I lowered my eyes. I was trying to avoid her gaze, but my eyes had also rested on some tracks in the dirt. I pointed to them.

"Why don't we track whatever made them." I suggested pointing down.

Beth followed them for a little while, dropping the bow and rolling her shoulders, but not complaining about the weight of the bow, which I knew was bothering her.

"Are we close?" She asked after about a half hour.

"Almost done."

"How do you know?"

"The signs are all there. Just got to know how to read 'em."

"What are we tracking?"

"You tell me. You're the one who wanted to learn."

Beth dropped the bow down and examined the tracks.

"Well, something came through here…The pattern is all zig-zaggy…It's a walker."

Damn this girl was good. She was gonna put me out of a job.

"Maybe it's a drunk." I said, trying to throw her off a little. She ignored me rightfully.

"I'm getting good at this. Pretty soon I won't need you at all."

"Yeah, keep on tracking." I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

She followed the walker tracks until we found the fucker in an open clearing. She had approached, while I stood back and watched, and I had thought I saw something in the leaves, but before I realised what it was she had already stepped in it. She fell to the ground but managed to get a shot off into the walker. It was a pretty good shot, and I was impressed, but it wasn't down yet. I stepped in and took my Stryker and smashed the stock into the walkers skull before he could get any closer to Beth.

She had stepped in an animal trap. It was old and rusted, and the springs hadn't worked so great which was lucky, 'cause even through those boots, a good trap could have caused a major injury.

She was hurt though. She winced in pain as I slipped the pin and pulled it off her. I checked the range of motion on her ankle and then I helped her up to lean on my shoulder and she limped along while I supported her weight.

* * *

The trees began to clear and I noticed large grey coloured rocks through the low brush. We pushed through the bushes to find a cemetery, with a big white funeral home in the centre.

Beth was still limping along slowly, so I offered to piggy back her through the cemetery. She jumped on and I grunted, surprised at how something so little could weigh so much.

"Maybe there are people there." She said, motioning to the funeral home.

"If there are I'll handle 'em." I assured her.

She scoffed. "There are still good people Daryl."

"I don't think the good ones survive."

About half way through the cemetery yard, Beth wriggled about and pushed herself down off my back. She walked toward a large tombstone, with her usually cheerful face looked miserable. The tombstone read _'Beloved father'._ She was thinking of Hershel.

I spotted some yellow flowers growing from a weed in the ground and pulled them out and placed them on the tombstone. That was a nice sentiment right? A tribute of respect to her father. He probably didn't want anything from me now, after what I did. I looked down to the grave and thought about what I would have said to him, if it were him lying under that stone.

_Hey Hershel. I'm sorry I fucked your little girl. Sorry I popped her cherry. Sorry I did it on a musty old chair by a fucking Moonshine still. Hey I'm sorry I gave your baby her first drink. I'm fucking sorry that I stole all her innocence away. Hope you don't fucking mind._

My internal self-abuse stopped when I felt her small finger intertwining with mine. Obviously it didn't bother her what her dad might be thinking.

I gave her hand a squeeze of support and then she put her head to my shoulder. Instinctively I rested my head on top of hers. Fuck I was such an idiot, this was going to encourage her more.

I looked down on the grave that we were treating as Hershel's.

 _I'm gonna take care of your girl Hershel. Even if that means keeping her safe from myself. I swear hands off from now on_.

Beth started to limp back towards the funeral home. I walked along beside her shaking my hand free from her grasp.

"Don't you want to hold my hand Daryl?"

She had stopped walking and was looking at me now, with a brow raised in confusion.

"I don't need to hold your hand, Beth. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend - in high school — kissing behind the bleachers."

She pulled her lips together looking hurt. There I was acting like an ass again.

"What are we then, Daryl?"

What was she asking? If I was her boyfriend? Now this was getting in to some heavy shit.

_That's what happens when you fuck with an 18 year old Daryl. You pop their cherry and they think your gonna marry them._

Fuck even in my head I was an asshole.

"We're not that." I said pointing to her hand. I turned my back and knelt motioning for her to get back on. I had to turn away from her confused and hurt look before she made me cave in and hug her or do something stupid again.

* * *

The inside of the home was pristine, no dirt, no dust; someone was obviously taking care of the place. We made our way down stairs where I was pretty certain they kept the bodies to embalm them and do whatever other freaky shit they had to do. It was logical that there would be medical supplies down there.

There were some bandages inside the cupboards along with a couple of dead bodies down there waiting out on the gurneys. They looked pretty gross. Like a well preserved walker. But Beth smiled at them like they were beautiful or something. It turns out she did think that. Or she thought that somebody cared enough about them to preserve them was beautiful. That was Beth, always seeing beauty in ugly-ass things.

"Don't you think that's beautiful?" She asked, while peering up at me.

Right now the only thing in this room that was beautiful to me was her. Her eyes were huge pools of blue, and her skin was so bright, and pale and clean, even though we hadn't washed in days. Her blonde hair was all over the place, curling around her ears and across her forehead. Her smooth, soft pink lips were gently parted. Enough for me to slip my tongue in if I really wanted. I shook the thought from my head and told her to sit back so I could see to her ankle. I carefully removed her boot trying not to move her foot around too much, pulled her sock off and then started wrapping the bandage around her swelling ankle. Even plump and purple her ankle looked pretty good — soft, smooth, milky white. I had the urge to kiss it, like a momma kisses boo boos, but I fought it off. I looked up at her and she was smiling down on me.

"Are you going to give me a foot rub?" She suggested with a wiggle of her toes.

I shook my head firmly and then put her foot down, picking up her sock and rolling it back over her foot.

"What's wrong with you?" She asked, with a hint of concern in her voice.

I picked up her boot and tugged it back on, avoiding eye contact.

"What do you mean what's wrong with me?" I said, looking down to her boot.

"You've been acting weird all day."

Was it that obvious? I stood up, turned to the side, and braced myself against the nearby sink. We were going to have to have the uncomfortable talk sooner or later, so may as well do it in here where she had access to scalpels and shit. She was watching me intensely waiting for my response.

"I just…" How was I going to put this.

"We shouldna… " No matter how I said it, it was going to sound bad.

"We shouldn't have what?" she interrupted looking quite irritated.

"You were drunk, we were both drunk. It shouldna happened."

Beth took a quick breath in, and chewed on the side of her lip nervously.

"You're gonna do that to me, Daryl? You're gonna blame it on the alcohol?"

"Well yeah, I was shit-faced, I wasn't thinkin' clearly."

"Daryl, you stopped drinkin' hours before me. You couldn't have still been drunk when we…did it."

I shook my head.

"Nah."

"No?" She raised her eyebrows at me in disbelief.

"When I came back in after a piss, you were passed out, and I couldn't sleep." I couldn't sleep because I was thinking about her, but it was best she didn't know that. "So I had a few more drinks." Just a couple of jars of shine to settle the nerves.

She scoffed at me and shook her head, then she lowered herself down and started limping out towards the doorway. I made a grab for her hand as she passed, not wanting her to be mad at me, and she brushed it away.

"I'm sorry, Beth." I said trying to sound as sincere as possible.

"I'm sorry too, Daryl. I'm sorry I was just another thing you regret… _doing_." That felt like a kick in the guts.

"I don't regret it Beth." I didn't know how I felt about it really. "I just wished it never happened."

"That's the same thing, Daryl."

"That's not what I meant." I had to put some more thought into my words.

"I just don't want things to be weird between us."

She crossed her arms and glared at me waiting for more.

"I don't want it to be weird if… when we find the others. Your sister will be pissed."

Beth dropped her arms and shook her head. She took a step towards me as if she would embrace me and I stepped back in towards the sink again. She saw the movement and stopped in her tracks.

"She won't be pissed. We all need someone, to feel close to, to feel a connection with, someone to make us happy and to give us a reason to live when we feel we have none. She has Glenn for that, I'm sure she would want me to have someone."

"Not me though."

"Why not?"

I threw my arms up in frustration. Did she really need me to say it out loud?

"Because I'm me, I'm Daryl. I'm some dumb-ass red neck and you're this smart, beautiful, talented girl who is way… _way_ too young for me."

"I'm not too young Daryl. I'm eighteen, I'm an adult."

"Yeah and I'm twice your fuckin' age."

Beth swung her arms around motioning to her surroundings.

"The whole world's gone to shit. Do you think any of that matters? Do you think the rules of society still apply?" She had a point, but there was so much more wrong with this than age difference.

"You just… " I took in a deep breath as I felt a rush of emotion growing inside me. Something like disappointment, and self-hatred, that I hadn't really felt for some time. " You deserve better than me." I admitted truthfully.

She stepped forward again in an effort to hug me and I pulled my arms firm against my side and tensed myself up again causing her to stop.

"I deserve _someone_ , Daryl." She smiled sadly at me, before turning around and hobbling back towards the doorway.

* * *

I found her later in a small upstairs bathroom looking through the cupboards.

"What you find?" I asked her. She turned to face me and held up some bars of soap and a tube of toothpaste.

"Luxuries." She replied with a smile. She handed me a bar of soap and then bent down picking up some plastic gallon sized bottles filled with a clear liquid.

"And look, someone was stockin' up on water. We could use it to wash."

I held my hand out for one of the bottles. She handed it over, and I unscrewed the top and sniffed the contents. Odourless. I took my finger and dipped it inside and tasted it. It was water.

"Water." I proclaimed.

"What else would it be?"

"I dunno, Kerosene? Some other shit you don't want poured over your skin?"

She smirked at me and then began pouring the water on to a hand towel, rubbing it with the soap and wiping it all over her neck and chest. I grabbed another hand towel to do the same. I pulled off my long sleeved shirt and vest and rubbed it along my arms and up under my shirt. It had been a while since I had washed with soap, it had been a while since I had washed even in clean water.

Beth nodded towards the bath.

"I would kill for a hot bath."

I looked into it, spotless like the rest of the house. I didn't really know what girls liked so much about hot baths. I only ever had cold ones.

"You could have one." I suggested.

"I could?"

"Yeah" I motioned to the bottles of water.

"All this water had to have come from somewhere. Maybe there's a well nearby. I'll have a look for it tomorrow, cart some water back 'ere, boil it up, fill 'er up for ya. It might take a while, and it might not be so hot by the time I'm done, but you could still soak in it. Relax." I didn't even know why I had offered to do that. It sounded like a lot of work, but there was something in me that just wanted to see her happy.

She was gazing at me with that look I hated so much. The one of doe eyed innocence.

"You're a romantic, Daryl Dixon."

"Nah." I scoffed. "Jus' thought you would like a bath is all."

She stepped towards me and ran her fingers over the collar of my shirt.

"You are. And you deserve to have someone too."

She was gazing into my eyes, and I felt like I was under some kind of spell, hard to move, hard to speak. It took a lot of effort to pull my eyes away from hers and pluck her fingers away from my collar.

She frowned while she eyed over my shirt.

"Maybe washing those clothes would be a better use for all that water, than a bath."

I looked down at myself. Clean clothes would be nice, but totally unnecessary. When I looked back up she was undoing her jeans, and less than wholesome thoughts were racing through my head.

_Control yourself Daryl._

I was about to tell her to stop when she looked up at me and spoke.

"Do you mind? I kind of need some privacy for the next part."

I backed my way out of the door and found another room to go and follow her example.

* * *

Later on after we had finished washing up we had a look in the kitchen to see what we could find. There was nothing at first but then we opened the cupboards to find a gold mine. Stacks of jars and cans all lined up neatly. There was even some soda bottles still freshly sealed. There was definitely someone living here.

"We'll take some of it and we'll leave the rest, alright?" I suggested.

"I knew it." She said turning her doe eyes towards me.

She was giving me that look again, the one that made me feel like cutting my filthy, no good hands off.

"Knew what?"

"It's like I said, there are still good people."

Yeah, I was getting better. I knew that. But I still wasn't good enough for her.

I took to securing the home while she looked around. I made sure all the windows and doors were boarded up properly, and rigged an alarm for the front porch. When I went back inside I could hear a song bird tune coming from the parlour. I walked in and found her sitting there by the piano playing some sorrowful song.

_We'll drink up our grief_

_And pine for summer_

_And we'll buy beer to shotgun_

_And we'll lay in the lawn_

_And we'll be good_

The song was bringing up all those feelings again, the ones I didn't want to have. The ones I didn't want to have about her. I gave a cough to let her know I was there. I knew I had startled her by the way she slipped off the key. She swung around on the stool to face me.

"The place is nailed up tight."

I walked into the parlour and put the crossbow down on the lounge chair against the wall. It was one of those fancy ones all curvy and puffy, like you would see in a rich old man's house.

"The only way in is through the front door."

I walked over to the open casket, ready and waiting for its next body, it looked comfortable, I kind of thought it might be cool to know what it feels like to lay in a casket while I was still alive, so I pulled myself inside, and settled in amongst the satin lining.

"What're you doin'?" She seemed a little shocked by my behaviour. I guess I was doing something immoral again.

"It's the comfiest bed I've had in years." That seemed like a decent justification.

"Really?"

"I ain't kiddin'." It had been a long time since I had even slept in a proper bed. Even before all this happened I was mainly hopping from couch to couch.

Beth was still watching me with curiosity in her eyes. I hated it when she looked at me like that. She looked so sweet and innocent, it made me feel like a fucking rapist or something.

"Why don't you go ahead and play some more, keep singin'." I suggested. Anything to stop her from looking at me like that.

"I thought my singin' annoyed you." She replied with a playful smile. Her and her fucking cute smiles.

There was no way it annoyed me, she had the voice of an angel, and the face to go with it. I was just being an ass when I said that before, surely she knew that.

"There ain't no jukebox so… "

Another asshole response, she had to be used to that by now.

She started again with the piano tune and singing in her soothing voice;

_And we'll buy beer to shotgun_

_And we'll lay in the lawn_

_And we'll be good_

_Now I'm laughing at my boredom_

_At my string of failed attempts_

_Because you think that it's important_

_And I welcome the sentiment_

This was probably what a Lil' ass kicker felt like when Beth sang her lullabies. Safe and secure and at home. I could feel sleep creeping through my body, lying in the comforting satin surrounds of the casket, at peace and in good company.

_you don't wanna be my boyfriend_

_And that's probably for the best_

_Because that, that gets messy_

_And you will hurt me_

_Or I'll disappear_

Shit. Did she just say boyfriend? Was that song meant for me? Did she think I was going to hurt her? She was right I guess. I had already hurt her, I knew that. But I didn't want to hurt her anymore, and if I tried to have anything with her it _would_ be nothing but messy.

"What's that song?" I asked when she had stopped playing.

"It's just some folk song."

"Old?" I hadn't heard it before so it must be old.

"No, it was released just before —you know — when this all happened." She replied.

Well it wasn't something I had heard on the radio.

"It's nice. Who sings it?"

"Waxahatchee."

Waxa what? It didn't matter really.

"What does the song mean?"

Beth shrugged her shoulders, and turned around on the bench to face me. "I didn't write it so I don't really know. But I think it's about a guy and a girl. They're really good friends, they just hang out together and enjoy each other's company, and they don't want to ruin their friendship with anything more."

Interesting song choice.

"But I think maybe it's a bit strained. And if they were in a different situation then maybe they would want something to happen. But you know. They're not, so…"

If the situation were different. If I had of kept looking for the governor with Michonne we would still be livin' in that prison, her daddy would still be hangin' around, and she would be avoiding me. If things were different and I had have taken better care of Zach on that scout run he wouldn't have been killed, they would have been fooling around together in the guard tower just like Glenn and Maggie. If it were different and no one ever got sick, and there were no walkers. She would be back at the farm, applying for college, trying to get one close to Jimmy so they could still see each other on weekends.

I looked at her face. She was still giving me that warm, hopeful, innocent smile. Even after all we had been through, after all I had put her through, she still looked at the world and everyone in it though rose coloured glasses.

I tried to use this positive thinking she was always pushing on me. If the situation had of been different, we might not be here together, alone in this house, clean, well fed and safe for the time being.

She dropped the smile and was now looking at me intensely, twisting her good foot into the floor nervously.

"I think I'm gonna go to bed." She finally said.

She sat up and gently closed the piano, and then limped over towards the door.

"It's only just got dark." I pointed out.

"Need an early night." she said with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Do you need some help up the stairs?" I offered.

"Nah I'm good. You just stay there." She waved towards my new bed. "In your coffin." She gave me a small smile. It was her usually sweet smile, but the smile didn't reach her eyes. All I could see there was pain. Pain I, most likely, put there.

"Goodnight Daryl." she said walking through the doorway.

"Goodnight." I replied in a voice so quiet she probably didn't even hear it. I listened as she clumped up the stairs, dragging her injured ankle along.

* * *

I thought it would be good to sleep down here so I could be up and out if anything happened, but I knew sleep wasn't coming any time soon, my head was running wild with stupid thoughts I didn't even understand.

What the fuck was I doing here? What was I doing to her? To myself? I made a promise that I would take care of her, that I would respect her, and I would treat her the way Hershel would have wanted me too, but would he really want me to break her heart? I had made the mistake of letting it go too far, but wouldn't it be an even bigger mistake if I took it all back and pretended it never happened.

I started chewing on my nail like I always did when something bothered me. The casket, although originally comfortable, suddenly started to feel confining. I rolled around trying to get into a better position, but there wasn't really another position to take. It was either flat on your back or flat on your back. It was a stupid idea anyway, who sleeps in a fucking casket? Was I like some kind of vampire or something now? There was a perfectly good bed upstairs. Freshly made with clean sheets, and a warm body to lay next to.

I sat up and swung my feet out of the casket and then pulled myself out to drop on the floor.

There were other rooms up there but surely, she wouldn't mind if I shared the bed with her. Better for us to be close anyway. There would be plenty of room, and if there wasn't, a little cuddle couldn't hurt. Friends did that didn't they?

I walked over to the lounge and grabbed my crossbow and made my way back out into the hall and up the stairs. They creaked a bit, which was good. I would hear if anyone walked up them. The door to the larger bedroom was still open, but there was no light inside. I poked my head in to see Beth's form under the covers.

"Beth?"

She sat up and let the covers fall to her waist. Her hair was untied and curling around her shoulders, glimmering silver in the moonlight. She was sleeping in her underwear. Her clothes were in a pile beside the bed. Her necklace with the charms was resting in between her tits, and I averted my eyes, before things started to move that I didn't want to move.

"Do ya mind if we share a bed?…You know for safety and all."

She smiled at me and threw back the covers, inviting me in.

"Of course I don't mind."

I placed my Stryker by the foot of the bed and then pulled my boots off. Usually I slept in my shoes, but the sheets looked so pristine and clean, I didn't want to get mud all over them. I walked to the side of the bed, took off my knife sheath and placed it on the side table in ease of reach, and I dropped myself down on the bed and slid in beside her.

"You're gonna sleep in your clothes?"

She was looking me over, taking in the stains of mud and blood and half a dozen or so tears.

"Yeah. If somethin' happens. If I have to get up quickly. I don't want to be runnin' in my underwear."

"What's gonna happen? you checked the place yourself. No walkers are gonna get in here."

"I'm not worried so much about walkers. I'm more worried about people who can open doors."

Beth nodded towards the still open bedroom door.

"Why don't you lock it then?"

I guess that was reasonable. If anyone played around with the lock I would hear it before they were in the room. And the thought of getting out of my clothes and having a decent sleep was pretty tempting. But sleeping beside her with hardly anything on. That could make things messy.

I stood up and walked over to the door shut it and locked it. The room was dark for a second, night had crept up on us while I had been tossing and turning in that casket. My eyes started to adjust to the light from the moon that was coming in through the window. I pulled off my vest, long sleeve and button up. Then I undid my belt and pulled off my jeans. I left my drawers on. If I had have been back home, before all this happened I would have slept completely naked, but I couldn't do that now. That would definitely send the wrong message.

Beth watched me walk over to the bed and get back in. Her eyes were still on me while I made myself comfortable on the pillow.

"You get lonely down there?"

"Yeah, it probably wasn't the smartest idea, sleepin' in a coffin. Nightmares 'an shit."

"I thought you said it was comfortable?"

I rolled my shoulders along the bed pushing myself in to make the pillow fit around me.

"This is more comfortable."

She grinned at me.

"Is this going to make it more weird?" She asked.

"Prob'ly."

"If you hold me, I guess that'll make it weird too?"

"Yeah." Of course it would. If I was any closer to her, I don't think I could control myself.

She lay back down on the pillow and stared up at the ceiling. The light from the moon caught in her eyes revealing they were wet. She had either been crying or she was gonna cry.

"Roll over." I said pushing her gently on to her side. I couldn't have her cryin' on me now.

She did as she was told and laid on her side and I slipped in behind her, wrapping my arm around her and tucking her into me like we were a pair of spoons. Her hair was spread out on the pillow and looping softly over her neck. I pushed it to the side resting my chin on her shoulder. She smelt good, fresh and clean. As I breathed in her scent I could feel my dick starting to move.

 _Not now_.

I was trying this whole platonic thing out. Well I thought I was. But if that was really what I wanted, I probably wouldn't be here, in my underwear lying behind her with my dick pressed into her ass.

She must have felt it moving cause she pushed back against me.

"Is that you?"

"Who else would it be?"

"Are you a little excited to see me?" She joked.

I ran my hands along her belly. Her skin was soft and smooth. It almost felt like I would tear it up with the callouses on my fingers.

"You feel so good." I murmured.

I pushed my face back in to her neck and took in another deep breath through my nose.

"You smell so good."

_What are you doing to yourself?_

"That's the soap from before." She informed me.

"We gotta make sure we take some with us."

She rolled over, turning her body in to me and putting her face on the pillow in line with my own.

"Do you think we could do it?"

"Do what?"

"Just be friends?"

No. Of course we couldn't just be friends. Look at us, lying in bed together half naked.

"I think we might've gone too far for that now." I admitted.

"So why are we even trying?"

"I don't know. I wanted to respect your dad. To respect you. I wanted to do the right thing. Be good."

She smiled at me. The same smile that always made me feel uncomfortable. Now it was just turning me on.

"I think my dad would respect you more if you were consistent."

I frowned. He probably would be more pissed at me for fuckin' and runnin' than he would for fooling around with her in the first place.

"And you have been doin' the right thing Daryl. At least you been tryin'. And you are good. You're the best person I have right now." She was stroking my face now, brushing the hair away from my cheek.

"I'm the _only_ person you have." I replied

"And _I'm_ the only person you have." She smiled at me again. Fuck she was beautiful. Those big clear blue eyes looking up at me, you could be lost in them for weeks.

She was right of course, like she always was. We only had each other. Her dad wasn't here, Maggie wasn't here. It was just us two, and it may only be the two of us for some time. We might never find the others, and if we did I'm sure we could explain it to them, and they would understand, wouldn't they? I didn't want to hurt her. I was going to take care of her, and she would take care of me. Surely they would be okay with that.

I put my hands around her and drew her into me and pressed my lips against hers. Her breath was minty fresh. She must have used some of that toothpaste before going to bed. I started off kissing her gently but I got more forceful as she responded to me, wrapping her leg around my waist and pushing herself against me. I ran my hands up her back and searched for the clasp on her bra, pushing it together to release it. It sprung of her body and I helped her pull it off and drop it to the floor beside the bed, then pulled her into my chest, feeling the soft pillows of her tits against me.

I moved in to kiss her neck, brushing my nose upwards against her jaw. The smell of her was overwhelming and her neck still tasted sweet like soap. I slipped a hand under her side and flipped her on to her back, and she gave a soft giggle that made my cock throb. I moved my kisses from her neck down to her collarbone and then trailed the kisses down her chest and to her tits, pushing aside the charms that hung off her necklace. I placed a hand on one of her tits and began rubbing and squeezing , trying to be as gentle as I could. The other one I ran my tongue around and to her nipple, swirling it around the little hard cherry on top. She began to squirm and gasp and I could feel my cock throbbing hard and hot. I did the same to the other side and then I trailed the kisses downwards across her firm belly over her navel down between her hip bones. I took hold of her panties with both hands and dragged them down over her legs. She helped me by lifting herself up and lifting her legs so I could pull them over her feet. I was extra careful of her ankle that was still wrapped in the bandage. Her panties now joined my clothes at the foot of the bed. I turned back to her and admired the sight before me.

She was laying there completely naked on the bed. The moonlight shining on every smooth curve of her body. She looked like an angel laying there with her blonde hair spread out over the pillows and her face darkening with colour in the dim light. Demon Daryl Dixon, fucking an angel, I never thought that would happen.

I lifted her undamaged foot and began gently kissing it. I placed kisses up the back of her calf, behind her knee up her thigh toward her pussy. As I got closer I heard her gasp and I felt her body tense. I looked up at her face staring down at me with awe in her eyes. She had probably never had anyone go down on her before.

"You okay?"

She nodded and then fell back down on the pillows in surrender.

I held her ass in my hands and tilted her hips upwards so that I could reach her with my mouth comfortably and I gave a long slow and deliberate lick in between her lips. She squealed and arched her back immediately. Looking for the same reaction I began twirling my tongue all around the area, holding her in place as she writhed and moaned. She was so wet, I thought I might drown down there. I could feel the moisture building up in the hair on my chin, as I flipped my tongue back and forth and drew her clit between my lips and massaged it with my tongue. When she had let out a few good moans and my tongue and mouth were aching, I came up for air. Her face was even darker in colour now and her hair looked wild spreading out all over the pillow in messy clumps.

I pulled my drawers down over my hips past my knees and over my feet kicking them on to the floor. And then crawled on top of her. She was panting heavily and gasping for air, anxiously watching me approach her. I went in and kissed her mouth allowing her to taste herself, and then pulled away and looked down at her wondering how she would respond.

"Did you like that?"

Her tongue gently flicked over her lips and she nodded.

"I'm going to fuck you now okay?" It was probably a shitty choice of words, but what else could I say? Make love? That would make it really weird.

She didn't seem to mind because she nodded again then took her hand and ran her fingers through my hair to get a good grip on me.

I forced my way into her wet, warm opening, absorbing the sound of her startled moan, and then took a second to try to gain some self-control. She felt so tight, and so hot. Every time I moved in her she would clamp down on me and I thought it would send me over the edge. When I had a hold of myself I moved in and out of her slowly and gently, partly because I didn't want to hurt her, and partly because I didn't want it to be over before it had begun.

She had one hand on the back of my head pushing me into her shoulder. her mouth was by my ear breathing heavily, gasping and moaning and sending chills up my spine. The other hand she had on my back, pulling and grabbing and scratching at the already scarred skin.

When she had moaned so many times I had lost count and when the sound had turned into a weak whimper, I decided it was time to finish off. Grabbing her ass with one hand I drew her hips towards me and began pushing myself in to her hard, fast and deep. Her moans turned from the weak whimpering to the deep throaty bursts she had given me earlier. Her body was moving against mine. Her back arching upward, pressing her chest into mine. Her fingers were against my back, her nails digging in deeply. On her last orgasm I could feel her clenching down on my cock rhythmically and the sensation was too much to bear. It took all the strength I had to pull myself out and empty on to her belly, letting out a few deep groans of my own in the process.

I looked down on her spread out before me, she was glistening in sweat and her chest was rising and falling as she gasped for air. Her legs were bent at the knee and trembling like Jell-O. I took her legs and gently pushed them together and to the side and tried to hold them still for a few seconds.

When she looked like she had recovered somewhat I moved to the edge of the bed and looked for something I could clean her up with. There wasn't much, the bedroom was pretty spotless, but there was a small pillow on the floor near the bed. I reached down, picked it up and placed it on her belly, wiping down to get all the mess off. She was smiling at me again, her wits regained, and it was that same smile that used to bother me, but it looked a little less innocent now, especially after what had just happened. I gave her a sly smile back.

When she was clean I threw the pillow back to the floor and then pulled the covers up over the both of us. I moved in by her side and rolled her over again so I could spoon her. I gave her a kiss on her cool, damp shoulder.

"You're pretty good at that." She breathed.

"I've had years of practice." I actually hadn't had all that many fucking partners in my life, but I was certainly more experienced than she was.

She chuckled at the hint to my age. And I grinned to myself. At least it was becoming a more comfortable topic for me.

"Do you think the walkers heard us that time?" She asked

"Prob'ly, but don't worry. No walkers are gettin' in 'ere tonight." I only hoped something else drew them away before the morning.

She began rubbing her hands along my arms and I found myself kissing her neck again. It was pretty great laying here with her in my arms, in a clean bed, in a clean house. No walkers breaking down the doors. It must have felt something like this before. Living a normal happy life, with someone you cared about in your arms. Only it wasn't like it was before the turn. It was a lot more dangerous now, and I hoped this wasn't going to be another thing ripped away from me.

"This time we should sleep." I suggested. "Don't know when we're gonna have the chance to sleep in a big, clean bed again."

She nodded her head, and I tilted my head up and kissed her on the cheek.

"Goodnight, Beth."

"Goodnight, Daryl." She pulled my hands up to her mouth and kissed the back of my hand gently.

It was a good night.

* * *

I woke up at dawn, to the full of crisp, clean light. I would have loved to sleep in, as it was something we so rarely had the opportunity to do, but I couldn't fight my body clock.

It kinda felt like a dream, laying there with Beth. There was no smell of death, just the sweet smell of her in the air. I couldn't even hear the walkers outside. It felt nice to imagine that everything was like before, but better.

Beth had turned in the night and was laying on her front, her face turned away from me. Her bare back upturned and exposed. I watched her for a few seconds before I heard her whimper. She arched her back a little and then went limp again. I kept watch as she let out another few whimpers. They were small, sad sounds and I knew she was having a bad dream, most likely about her dad. She had made the same sounds just about every night since we had left the prison. I gently ran my hand along her back up and down from the base of her neck to the small of her back. Eventually the whimpering stopped. I leant forward to look at her face to see if she was still sleeping. Her face looked peaceful and her breath was relaxed and even. I kissed her gently on the cheek and then at her neck, then on her shoulders and between her shoulder blades.

My dick was already hard, as it was most the time in the morning, but I felt it stir again with thoughts of last night, and the touch of her against my lips.

_Hold on man, you're not as young as you used to be._

It seemed my dick didn't agree as it just kept getting harder.

I ran my hand down her side, feeling the side of her tits, over her belly down to her smooth inner thigh. I lifted her thigh to the side a little so I could get to her easier and then I placed myself on top of her and entered her from behind. She was already wet and it helped me ease in to her despite her being so tight. The sharp gasp she let out told me she was awake, but she didn't say anything, so I started moving inside her. I took my hand to her bent leg and rubbed along up her thigh towards the front pushing my hand down between her belly and the bed sheets, reaching down until I found what I was looking for.

I ran my fingers through her hair and then pushed down on her pubic bone just were it began to hollow out above her clit. I kept applying a steady pressure while I moved in and out of her. She was wide awake now, moaning into the pillow and arching her back. I kissed her back and kept up the force on her front rubbing in a circular motion. She was clenching down hard on my dick and the feeling was nothing short of fucking amazing, but I could tell I wasn't going to finish, I was in need of a trip to the bathroom, and I really was getting too old for twice in one night.

It didn't matter anyway. This wasn't really about me, she had been having bad dreams, maybe this would help her sleep a little longer and a little better.

When my hand started cramping and my back started aching, and when she sounded completely exhausted and ready to sleep I let up on my onslaught, sliding out of her. A patch of dampness spread out on the bed around her thighs, if I had needed any more proof she enjoyed it.

I bent down and kissed her cheek.

"Feel better?" I asked.

"Mmm hmm" she mumbled. Her eyes were still closed, her face flushed but restful. I stroked her cheek and kissed her again.

"Go back to sleep."

I pulled the covers over her and then left her there to sleep while I went to check outside.

* * *

She looked so peaceful when she slept. Like a child. I pushed that thought from my mind, it wasn't something to dwell on after recent activities.

I didn't want to wake her, she was obviously enjoying her sleep, but the sun was high in the sky and it would have to be at least nine o'clock. She was going to have to be woken sooner or later.

I stroked the hair away from her face and she stirred at my touch. She opened her eyes looked up at me and gave me that smile that I was starting to hate a little less.

"Get dressed. I made you some breakfast."

"You made me breakfast? You really are a romantic."

"If you think pigs feet in a jar is romantic."

She screwed up her nose at the mention of pigs feet and then sat up and stretched. The covers fell down and I couldn't help but glance at her tits again.

My dick jumped and I started to wonder if I could go another round now I was more awake.

 _Get a hold of yourself Daryl, you can't fuck all day._ As much as I would like to.

She moved to the edge of the bed and began looking around for her clothes. Was she deliberately bending over like that, teasing me? I got up and helped search myself, trying to get her ass out of my view. Her bra was over by my side of the bed, her panties by the foot of the bed. She had already found her clothes. I handed her the underwear and then stood back and watched her get dressed, torturing myself.

When she was dressed, she pulled her hair back and tied it in a loose ponytail. She then pulled one sock and boot on and I helped her to pull the other one carefully over the bandage. She put her feet down and limped her way out of the room and down the stairs.

After the third step I decided this would be quicker and easier if I helped her out, so I scooped her up in my arms.

"Snails'd be quicker 'an you Greene."

"I'm going as fast as I can." She chuckled.

I kicked the kitchen door open with my foot and carried her through the doorway. To the feast of Peanut butter and jelly, pigs feet and cola.

When we sat down I heard the cans from the alarm I had rigged up clang together. I grabbed my crossbow and headed to the front door, telling Beth to stay where she was.

It had just been some mangy old mutt with one eye missing. I tried to pet it but it ran away. When I went back inside and told Beth she looked a little disappointed she didn't get to see it. She probably loved animals as much as she loved people.

* * *

Later that night while we were back in the kitchen eating our makeshift dinner, Beth pulled out her journal and started scribbling in it with her pen.

"What are you doing with that?" I asked.

"I'm gonna leave a thankyou note."

"Why?"

"For when they come back. If they come back."

There she was again. Her pure heart, always thinking about others. It was this kind of innocence that made me feel like shit about rubbing my dirty hands all over her. But I felt like some of that innocence was rubbing off, like my hands were getting a little cleaner every time I touched her.

It was at that moment that I realised that it wasn't her losing her innocence that I needed to worry about. It was more about her helping me find a little bit of innocence of my own.

"Maybe you don't have to leave that." I suggested. She stopped writing and looked up at me.

"Maybe we stick around here for a while."

"Daryl Dixon, are you trying to shack up with me?"

"Nah, nah." Shit was I?

"Yes you are, you want to build me a white picket fence, and have babies and pet dogs." She was just playing now. I gestured to the cleanliness of the kitchen.

"We wouldn't be alone." But at least these people didn't know us, didn't know who we were before. They wouldn't have any reason to get fierce about me and Beth.

She was watching me carefully now.

"When they come back, we'll just make it work." I said with a shrug.

She looked a little guarded now. She probably still wanted to find Maggie. She probably wasn't as worried, about what they might say as I was.

"I mean they may be…may be nuts but…maybe they'll be alright."

"So you do think there are still good people around." She said with a cute nod of her head.

"Well there's one sittin' right in front of me." I nodded my head towards her. She gave me that beautiful smile that I was really starting to like now.

Our moment was interrupted by that mutt from before playing around in the alarm again. I knew Beth was disappointed she didn't see it before, so I decided I would coax it in with some pig's feet. My head was filled with thoughts of Beth and of living in our little home, playing with dogs. Stupid kid fantasies, but they were enough to distract me. I opened the door without even thinking to check first and I was nearly bowled over by a herd of walkers.

I tried to hold them off by pushing the door shut, but there was far too many. I called to Beth for my Stryker and told her run. As soon as I moved from the door they were going to flood in. I Stepped away from the door turned towards it and took a shot at one of them and then turned to run back in the house, Beth was in front of me, hobbling along. I told her to pry a window open and get out but she didn't want to leave me. I kept insisting until she ran ahead of me. She didn't need to worry about me, as long as she was safe I would be fine, I just needed her to get her crippled ass outta here. I led them downstairs to where the bodies were held, to give her more time to get out. There were a near dozen of them down there crowding around me, but I managed to trap them behind the gurney and then made my way back upstairs and outside. As soon as I stepped outside a terrible feeling crept over me. It was too quiet out here, and I couldn't see Beth anywhere. I called out for her and there was no response. I raced towards the road looking for any sign of her. All I could see was her bag lying on the road the contents spilled out.

I heard a car screeching away and looked up and watched it drive off. The sedan had a white cross on the back of it. I didn't know who they were but anyone who grabbed young girls in the middle of the night wouldn't be the type I would want Beth around. What the fuck would they want with her? Actually I knew exactly what they would want with her, and I did not want to think about that bullshit right now. Panic started to take hold and turn around in my gut as I raced off down the road behind the car.

* * *

I must have been running for hours. My feet were throbbing, my legs aching. I was drenched in sweat, my lungs were burning, and the night was turning in to day. I had to keep pushing on; I couldn't stop until I found that car. The cross on the back of the car had to mean something. Had it been someone from the funeral home? Maybe they were good people as Beth insisted still existed, the place had been kept pristine. Good people kept things pristine right? My thoughts slipped to all the stories I had read on serial killers. Being obsessively clean and organised did not necessarily make you a good person.

Now all the nasty thoughts were running through my head. What they were doing with her, how many of them were doing it with her. Would they kill her after or would they keep her as their pet? The thoughts made my head ache and my stomach turn.

To make matters worse I was approaching a fork in the road, by a rail line. Now I was fucking screwed. The car had passed through here too long ago and I couldn't tell which way it had gone. My nasty thoughts consumed me again and I gave in to the physical and emotional pain. I fell to the floor, exhausted and destroyed. I hung my head and started sobbing, like a kid that had lost his most prized possession.

* * *

I don't know how long I was sitting there staring at the asphalt, but now there were footsteps approaching me, six men, each of them with weapons aimed towards me. They surrounded me, and one of them, most likely the leader of the pack started talking. He made a move for my bow and I walloped him in the face sending him to the ground, I stood up snatching up my crossbow and pointed it at his head. If I was going down, I would take him with me.

He started cackling at me like a witch fucked up on crack.

"A bowman." he wiped away the blood from his nose. "I respect that. See a man with a rifle, coulda been some photographer, or soccer coach back in the day, but…a bowmans a bowman, through and through…what is it 150 pound draw weight? I'll be donkey licked if that don't fire at least 300 feet per second. I've been lookin for a weapon like that. 'course I'd want one with a bit more ammo in it, and ah…minus the oblongata stains"

"Get yourself in some trouble, partner?" Called a voice from behind me.

I only had three bolts left, and I would be dead before I could draw the bow again after firing the first.

"Suicide is stupid. Why hurt yourself when you can hurt other people." The leader sneered.

He raised his eyebrows at me and chuckled silently. "Name's Joe."

It turns out this Joe wanted me to join his little derelict army.

There was nothing good about these guys. I could tell that by the way they stood, the way they spoke, the way they smelt. Like death, and not walker death, the death of the living. But they had weapons they probably had transport. Whatever else they had I could use to help track down Beth, and if I found out they had anything to do with taking her, I would kill every last one of them.


	6. Making Claims

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl learns more about the group he is following and their rule of Claim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I saw the sneak peak of Daryl and Len with the rabbit, and Len was taunting Daryl about the ‘piece of tail.’ I was thinking that is just too much of a coincidence, how did he know he had lost a woman and was with the comment about ‘little'un’s? So my imagination went wild…

I had been tracking that damn Cotton tail since sun up and I had finally got it in my sights, ready to fire a bolt, when I felt the wind splitting movement through my hair. An arrow knocked into the rabbit at the same time as mine. I knew who that was, the idiot Len with his Airborne. He had taken issue with me ever since I had joined the group.

I turned to see an accomplished look on his overgrown bush of a mug. I got up from my crouched position to meet him at eye level.

"What the hell are you doin'?" I snarled.

His lips turned up at the side in a half smirk, and he gave a casual shrug.

"Catchin' me some breakfast."

"Nah that's mine." I corrected, waving my arm at what was clearly my property. I made my way over to the rabbit, a mess of grey fur and tumbled leaves, with two arrows sticking up out of it.

"My arrows the one that hit first." He protested. "Cotton tail belongs to me."

I strode over to my cottontail and knelt beside it.

"Been out here since before the sun came up." I said as I pulled my bolt out, then pulled his arrow out and tossed it aside.

"You see, the rules of the hunt don't mean jack out here." He glared angrily at the spot I where his arrow had landed among the leaves. "Now, that rabbit you're holding is claimed, boy. Claimed whether you like it or not. So I was you, I'd hand it over. Now before you get to wishing you ain't never even got out of bed this morning."

"It ain't yours." I growled at him, stopping just a few feet in front of him in an attempt at unnerving him and his dumbass attitude.

"You know, I bet there's a bitch, got you all messed up, hmm?" He waited for my acknowledgment.

I took a step back, my thoughts moving to Beth.

"Am I right?" He continued. I made my way around him trying to put as much distance as possible between us before I snapped and broke his neck or something.

"Got you walkin' 'round 'ere like a dead man. Lost yourself a piece of tail. Must have been a good'un."

I stopped in my tracks, trying to control my rage and urge myself to walk away.

"Tell me something - was it one of the little'uns?"

My fingers instinctively moved to the sheath on my holster. He knew what would set me off. In fact he knew a little too well just what would set me off. I popped the button on the sheath ready to gain access to my Busse. One more smart ass remark and he was a goner.

"Cause they don't last too long out here."

I pulled my Busse and turned it in my hand ready to drive it into his gas bagging throat, but as I went to lift it I felt the resistance of something holding me back and then there was someone standing in between us, the leader of the group, Joe.

"Easy, fellas, easy. Let's just put our weapons down. See if we can't figure out what's really the problem here, huh? - Did you claim it?"

"Hell yeah." Insisted Len.

"Well, there you go. That critter belongs to Len."

"So let's have it." Len called over Joe's shoulder.

"Looks like you may be wanting an explanation. See, going it alone, that ain't an option nowadays. Still, it is survival of the fittest. That's a paradox right there. So I laid out some rules of the road to keep things from going Darwin every couple hours. Keep our merry band together and stress-free. All you got to do is claim. That's how you mark your territory, your prey, your bed at night. your ah…" he trailed of and chuckled. "One word, claimed."

"I ain't claimin' nothin'."

"We're gonna teach him, right? The rules say we got to teach him." Len called aggressively.

"It wouldn't be fair to punish you for violating a rule you never even knew existed." Joe said in an mediative voice.

"There ain't no rules no more." I growled, while eyeing Len off.

"Oh, there are." Joe went on. "You know that. That's why I didn't kill you for the crossbow."

Joe took hold of the head of the rabbit, while I was glaring at Len, and I tugged back on it.

"Easy there partner."

He took the rabbit and hacked it in half against the nearby tree. He gave me the ass end and the other to Len.

Len didn't look too pleased and he started storming off in the opposite direction.

"Imma head back to base." Len declared angrily.

"Some of us still haven't caught anythin'." Said Joe.

"I got my catch." he said holding up the half rabbit dangling its lifeless head about.

"Now you know we're supposed to stay in our groups." Uttered Joe, raising a challenging eyebrow. "That's how we stay alive."

"I'm hungry, I needs to eat my meal." There was something about the way Len said _meal_ that made me think he wasn't talking about the rabbit.

"You gonna head back on your own? With the freaks out there?"

He looked back to where we had set up camp that morning. "I can get someone to come, I'm sure they'll wanna share."

Joe didn't look too pleased about that arrangement but he held out his hand and gestured for Len to carry on. "Alright then, head on back, but the rest of us got to get our Catch."

Joe looked over at me.

"You comin'?"

Len stepped in beside me, like he had something to say on my behalf.

"He already got his, I'll take him back with me, maybe even share some of mine."

He was leering at me now. It was an awfully suspicious way to be acting over a rabbit, especially one he had just fought me over.

"I don't think he'll want what you have." Said Joe, while slowly shaking his head.

"Sometimes you don't realise how much you want somethin' until it's no longer yours." He dangled up his half of the rabbit mockingly.

I'd be damned if we were still talking about that rabbit.

"He's got to learn our ways sooner or later anyways."

Joe looked at me waiting for my response.

I decided to accept the challenge.

"Lead the way." I said to Len.

A satisfied grin grew on Len's face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I planned to alternate between Beth and Daryl POV in each chapter, but I wasn’t ready to go to Beth just yet, so this is a very short chapter to get everything up to speed.


	7. The good, the bad and the dead.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth finds herself in quite the predicament.

_Ok Beth you've gotta pull it together!_

What could I see, what could I hear, what could I feel? I was inside somewhere, I knew that much. And it was a big open space, I could tell by the way the air moved around me, and the way the sound of my heavy breathing disappeared into the darkness. It _was_ dark, but my eyes could just make out several windows high above me. The moon must have been out, or the sun was coming up, as the glowed in a dim grey light. There was a distinct chemical smell in the air, like gas. Was I in some kind of Garage? My head was pounding and there was an aching on the left side of my face. I could feel something cold, damp and hard against my back. My shoulders were pressed against it, so that meant I had lost my sweater, I could also feel my backside against it, so I had lost my jeans. The cold air was settling over my feet so I had lost my boots too. Around my wrists, below my wrist bands, was something rough and itchy. Maybe rope? And down lower around my ankle the same sensation. My legs were bent awkwardly downward, and there was nothing supporting them below my thighs. I tried to move my ankle and it sent searing pain up my leg. So what happened before with the animal trap, that was real.

"Hello?" I called out into the darkness. My voice echoed throughout the room, and through my tender ears and head, causing the ache to worsen.

I could hear voices now as the ringing in my ears began to settle. They were the voices of strangers, two men by the sounds of it.

"I couldn't fuckin' believe it, first there's a car, fully fuelled, just sitting there waiting to be taken and then this sweet young thing was there runnin' towards the road. It was all too perfect."

A flame was lit and started to grow as it got closer to me, illuminating two faces behind it; Rough looking, with scraggly beards and missing and rotten teeth. I recognised the flame as a lantern as they held it closer to my face.

"God damn." One of the men whistled. "Ain't she a pretty thing?"

"Yeah we messed her face up a bit when she tried to get away, but the rest is just fine."

"You got a claim on her?"

"Nah, Len got in first, I got the car, but I reckon he'll let us have a shot at her if were real nice like."

They both chuckled.

I wasn't sure if what I was hearing was a dream or reality, so I let the words slide off me.

"Where am I?" I choked out, my throat was raw and dry.

"Looks like she's comin' to." Said one of the men, he looked older. He had Grey in his beard.

"Well hello little lady." Said the other one. He had long hair down past his shoulders, his beard was twisted into a point at the end.

"Who are you?" I don't think I even wanted to know, but the questions were running through my head and tumbling out of my mouth.

"Well we're your guardians for the time bein', until your claimant gets back." Said Pointy, before sucking on his rotten teeth, with a sickening wet sound.

"What are you gonna do with me?"

He made a sweeping motion of the room, which I now took the opportunity to examine. It was some kind of warehouse, I wasn't sure what it had been used for before, but it had several cars parked in it, and other items that were too dark to make out.

"We like to collect ... Never know when you might need somethin'."

He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"Unfortunately the women are the hardest to come by." Added Grey.

Pointy began rubbing his hand up my bare thigh, I pulled it back sharply which sent a searing pain through my ankle, and I winced in agony.

"Don't touch me you fucker!" I said in my bravest voice possible.

"Oh, she got a filthy mouth, I like the filthy ones."

Grey chuckled. "You like all o' 'em"

Pointy beard was rubbing his hand upward over my hip, up my side over my singlet and stopping on my breast. He squeezed it in between his thumb and forefinger and drew his grip out pulling and twisting my nipple. The touch made my entire body tremble in revulsion. Who the hell were these guys? What were they going to do to me? Where was Daryl? I tried to remember what happened.

I had run from the funeral home, Daryl was behind me, I went out on to the road and a car had pulled up, the door was flung open and I saw a man in the back seat. It was Pointy. I had asked the guy for help, and he grabbed me and pulled me in the car. I tried calling out for Daryl, I tried opening the door, and then something had hit my face, and the last thing I remembered was someone calling out 'claimed'.

I began to scream for help, shrieking at the top of my lungs like a mad woman, panic had set in now and hysteria wasn't far behind it. My captors both laughed at me.

'Keep screamin'. No one's gonna hear you 'cept the freaks."

Freaks? Did he mean the walkers? Walkers would be better than them, I could handle walkers, I could even handle killers, like the governor. These guys, they were something else.

Now a third guy walked in through the door. He looked completely different from the other two. Not only in looks but just the way he carried himself, it was a lot less creepy. He was younger again, maybe in his twenties. His head was shaved bald, and he had deep brown eyes and skin the colour of burnt ochre.

"What the fuck have you got there?" He asked. I could see a mixture of shock and awe on his face as he approached me.

"Len's new toy." said Pointy.

"What are you going to do with her?" The young guy asked.

"Fuck the shit out of her of course – after Len, if he's willin' to share. Maybe you can go after me?" He grinned devilishly at the younger guy.

"Get in line kiddo." Said Grey with a chuckle

I was already trembling and a cold sweat was forming on my brow but now I had a new sensation; all-consuming terror. I felt like my heart was going to explode out of my ears and I was going to lose my bladder any moment now. These guys were bad, very bad and they weren't just going to kill me, they were going to rape me. I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer to Daryl. _You're the best tracker I know, you better find me, and fast!_

"There you go Anton, she'll be nice and wet by the time you get a go."

I opened my eyes and looked over at the man they were talking to. The man they called Anton still had the deer caught in the lights kind of look on his face.

Pointy put his ice tipped nose down on my neck and sniffed.

"Man she smells so clean." He made a beckoning motion to the others.

"Come smell her, I aint smelt nothin' like that in years." Grey came closer and smelt my neck too. I pulled against the ropes wanting to just be able to grab a hold of them, their hair, maybe an ear, anything. Maybe I could hurt them enough to make them think twice about coming near me.

My hands were firmly tied I wasn't going anywhere.

_Deep breaths Beth, don't panic just try to focus._

Pointy beard began running his nose down my body over my singlet, down to my underwear. He stuck his nose in between my legs and took in a deep breath. I cried out in shock and revulsion and tried pulling my hips away, but I couldn't move them more than a few inches.

"And that smells even sweeter." Pointy said as he stood up straight.

I lost control at that point, tears were falling down my cheeks and I started sobbing.

"Please let me go." I began to beg.

"Sorry lil lady, I think you're gonna be around for a long... _long_ time." Said Grey.

I looked over to Anton, the one with the sympathetic eyes.

"Please help me." I pleaded. He took a step back and shook his head.

"You guys really are sick fuckers." He said while he backed his way to the door.

"No please, help me." I shrieked after him.

"You've been with us for two months and you only now realise we're sick fuckers?" Grey and Pointy started laughing together. Anton sneered at them and then was gone out the door.

"What the fucks his problem?" Asked Pointy. "Prob'ly just pissed he weren't there to make his claim." He put a hand on each of my breasts and squeezed, I let out a wail and sobbed again.

"I'm sick of this claiming shit." Said Grey.

"Yeah I know, but he got his rules."

"Yeah you don't want to piss him off. He's been real on edge ever since Lou. Maybe things will get better when we track down that asshole who killed him."

"But fuck man, my dick is so hard" Pointy leant backwards pushing out a growing bulge in his pants.

Grey pointed off into the darkness of the warehouse.

"Maybe you can use her? Don't think she's wanted no more."

Pointy beard screwed up his face.

"She's all dried out and shit."

What the fuck were they talking about? Who were they talking about? I turned my head to the darkness trying to see what they were pointing at.

Pointy was leering down on me with a sickening smile on his face.

"You want to meet your room mate?" He asked.

No, I really don't think I did.

He grabbed the lantern and moved into the darkness to a wooden table, a dark cloth was draped over it and there was something lumpy beneath. I held my breath in terrified anticipation as he pulled back the cloth.

There, tied to the table by the ankles and wrists, much like myself, was a female walker. It had flinched away from the light initially and was now gasping. Its body was mottled with purple and green, there were bite marks all over its body, raw flesh was exposed on one of the breasts were another walker must have bitten off her nipple. The walker was covered in filth, some of it dirt, some of it other bodily fluids. I shuddered to think what they were using that walker for. These were definitely the sickest people I had ever come across.

"This is a...umm...I forget her name." Pointy slapped the female walker on the thigh, and she groaned at him. "You'll be her replacement."

I felt a warmness spread over my thighs and down along my butt that was pressed against the table and I knew I had wet myself. I was totally screwed!

I started wailing and moaning and out of the corner of my eye I noticed the walker's head move towards the sound I was making.

I turned my head and stared at her in horror. Her face was bloody and bruised, her mouth full of black blood and missing teeth, her eyes blood shot, her lips were cracked and dry, but they moved like I had never seen a walkers lips move before.

They mouthed the words

"Kill me."

* * *

It was some hours later when the sun began to rise and cast more light on my predicament. I _was_ in a warehouse. There were several large rolling doors, and a smaller door on the far wall that the men had been going back and forth through all night. Large windows were spotted all over the upper parts of the walls. There were a number of items in the room, old car parts, Jerry cans, some paint tins, all placed in notable piles. There were three tables in the room. The table I was laying on, the table that held that other woman, the one who wasn't a walker, and another table. It was empty but there were blood stains on it. I did not want to think what had happened there.

I was guiltily relieved that they had covered the other woman back up. Every time I looked toward her I was reminded of my fate, so I kept my head turned the other way.

The way I was tied to the table with my legs bent over the end meant my back would arch up in an unnatural and uncomfortable way every time I tried to move. I had been pulling against the ropes all night and my ankles and wrists were raw and bloody, my injured ankle was swollen and throbbing from all the twisting and turning. I was shivering uncontrollably, partly through fear and partly through cold. Although the room was starting to heat up now the sun had risen, cold weather was approaching and all I was wearing was my singlet and underwear. I wondered what had happened to my other clothing.

I examined the room trying to think of a way I could escape, if I could just loosen the ropes a little, if I could just free one arm, that's all I needed, but I had been trying that all night. I had tried looking for something I could use to cut the ropes, something I might be able to reach with my fingertips, a rough edge, a splinter, anything, but there was nothing. I had tried using my body weight to shift the table, move it to somewhere I could reach something, or topple it over, but it must have been bolted to the ground. I was completely and utterly without hope. The only chance I had was if someone helped me, and the only person who might have any idea where I was or how to find me was Daryl.

He had been there through everything, protecting me from the worst. I thought about the comment he had made about the good people not being able to survive. He was right.

My thoughts were interrupted by a shadow in the door, as it approached I noticed it was Anton. He was holding a can, a spoon and a bottle of water.

"Help me." I tried to plead with him again. If there was anyone in this place who would help me, it seemed most likely to be him.

"I can't." He murmured. My heart sank a little.

He opened the bottle of water and put it to my lips.

"You have to, they're going to – they're going to do horrible things to me." I said pulling my mouth away.

Anton closed his eyes like he was having some kind of internal struggle. He opened his eyes again and looked down on me sympathetically.

"Here, drink." He said forcing the bottle between my lips, I tried drinking but it came out too fast and I choked on it coughing the water all over myself.

"Shit, sorry." He said, taking a cloth from his pocket and wiping my face.

I started crying again, sobbing and pleading.

"You gotta help me, you gotta!"

He began opening the can pulling back on the pull ring, he took a spoon and scooped up the contents of the can and held it to my lips. I took a mouthful of it and swished it around my mouth. It was a vegetable soup. I spat it back out at him defiantly. It had sprayed all over his face. I wasn't sure if that was the best move to make, it probably wouldn't win me any sympathy.

He took the cloth he used to wipe my face and calmly wiped the soup away.

"I'm helping you all I can." He scooped up another spoonful and pressed it to my lips. I kept them locked tight. He sighed in frustration.

"You gotta eat. You'll need your strength"

What did I need my strength for? So they could use me for longer?

"I really want to help you, I really do...but you don't know what these guys are like." He turned his head towards the door and then back towards me.

"Even if I helped you, I couldn't get you out of here, I'm outnumbered, and we still have more to come back. They've got weapons and they're ruthless. I can't get you out of here safely."

"But you can try?" I pleaded.

He sighed again.

"Please eat" he said, putting the spoon to my mouth again. I was starving and my stomach groaned at the smell of the soup. I opened my mouth and he slipped the spoon in dropping the contents into my mouth. It tasted pretty awful, but I really didn't care at that point.

He continued to feed me slowly, scraping the drips from my lips with the spoon as they escaped, like I was a baby. He kept it up until he was scraping the bottom of the can with his spoon.

"Look, I can't make any promises - it's risky." He looked around at the door again.

"I'll see what I can do, maybe I can try - I'll think about it."

I began sobbing again as a glimmer of hope started to build within me.

"Thankyou." I choked out between sobs.

"No promises." He took his bottle of water, his can and his spoon and backed towards the door.

"Don't leave me." I wailed after him.

"I have to go, they'll be back soon."

"Don't leave me!" I wailed again as he backed out through the door. I gave in to the sobs again. Who was this guy? What was he doing hanging around with these sickos, could I even trust him? I guess I was going to find out.

* * *

The day came and went, and my captors moved in and out of the warehouse. Most of the time they ignored me, but a few times they came up to me and taunted me about my fate, or made a grab at my body. My body was exhausted but my mind was fueled by adrenaline and I managed to keep awake thoughout the night fearing what would happen if I fell back to sleep. The anxiety of not knowing what was happening to me was more terrifying than anything else those men were doing or saying to me. It was getting to a point where I just wanted this guy Len to come back and get it over and done with.

Sometime after noon, judging by the light outside the widows, I heard voices approaching from outside.

"They already got the trail, Jus' gotta come back to get supplies and they'll be off again." Said an unfamiliar voice.

"You gonna go with 'em? ...Will you leave the girl 'ere? I been keepin her nice and safe for ya, that's gotta be worth some brownie points right?" that voice sounded familiar, like Pointy.

He walked in the room with two figures directly behind him. They both had the same look as the others, rough and dirty. Then another two figures entered.

I felt my breath catch in my throat as sheer relief flooded my body. One of the men was Anton, the sight of him was enough to give me hope, but there was an even more hopeful sight beside him. The dirty torn jeans, the angel winged vest, the crossbow, the messy dark hair. It was Daryl.

I tried to stifle a squeal. _Just think Beth._ He wasn't tied up, he wasn't struggling, he was with them, or he was appearing to be with them. I watched his face pale as he looked over me. His lips were turning white and I could tell he was holding his breath. His knuckles were growing white as well, as they gripped on to his crossbow.

The second man who entered, stalked over to me triumphantly. He was long and thin with black waved hair and a thick bristling beard. He had a bow hung over his shoulder, but different from Daryl's, like one they used in the olympics. He stopped beside me and looked me over from head to toe.

"I think this is the finest one we've ever found." He commented.

I tried not to look at Daryl, they didn't know we were together, there was no way he was actually friends with these degenerates.

"What you think Daryl?" He knew his name, so he must have convinced them he was with them. Daryl hesitantly stepped forward and looked over me, I could see the fury in his face, but he was controlling it.

"That's a sweet piece of ass." He croaked.

"Too bad I already put my claim down." I guess that would make this guy Len.

"Joe let you put a claim on people too?" Daryl was glaring at him, with a familiar scowl on his face.

"Joe knows what we need to keep peace."

Daryl shrugged his shoulders and started turning his head like he was cracking his neck.

"You wanna go yerself?" Len laughed and the other men joined in. Anton stayed cold faced.

Daryl shrugged his shoulders again.  
"It's been years since I fucked anything half decent looking." He said motioning to me.

"It's been a long time fo' all a us." Said Len. The other men grunted and nodded in agreement.

"I'll barter for her." Suggested Daryl.

"What you got to barter with?"

Daryl reached into the pocket of his shirt and pulled out a handful of jewels he had got from back at the country club. He dangled them in front of Lens face.

"That aint worth shit out 'ere." Len said with a chuckle and the other men joined in. Anton was still lurking in the back straight faced.

"Well what you want then?" Daryl asked.

"How abouts that Stryker." Len said pointing at Daryl's crossbow.

A saw a glimmer of something in Daryl's eyes. He looked at me and then down at the bow.

He couldn't be serious? Was he actually thinking about it? _Relax Beth, he's not a fool, he's playing with them._

Len started rubbing the hair on his chin thoughtfully.

"She'll be all yours for so long as she's with us." He swept his hand around to the other men in the room. "No one else will touch her." I heard a few disappointed groans. Len glared angrily at the men and the groans stopped.

Daryl looked like he was deep in thought. I really hoped this was all an act.

"Okay that sounds like a fair deal."

Len held out his hand towards Daryl. "Let me have it then."

Daryl was thinking.

"Jus' lemme set it up for ya."

Daryl began messing round with the crossbow, turning the arrow around playing with the string. Len stepped forward and snatched it off him.

"I know how to use the fuckin' thing." He held the bow up and turned it around holding it in the correct grip. He lifted it and aimed it towards me on the table. Daryl took a step forward. And Len made note of his movement.

"Don't worry, I aint gonna shoot her – she ain't mine no more." The men chuckled.

Len took a step back and waved for Daryl to approach me.

"Well go on then, a deals a deal."

Daryl stepped towards me. His eyes were down cast looking at my binds, and at my underwear, I wondered if he could tell I had wet myself. He stretched a hand out to touch me, but it hovered just above my skin while he looked down on me, tormented.

"You gonna fuck her or what? Been a while like you said."

Daryl moved in between my legs and began to undo his belt.

_Just breathe Beth, he knows what he's doing._

He stopped and looked around at everyone.

"I can't do it with everyone watchin'."

"We like to watch." Leered Pointy. "We like to hear em scream."

The other men chuckled.

Daryl reached into the front of his jeans.

"I can't. Performance anxiety."

Len sighed, and then turned towards the door, he waved for the men to follow.

"Come on guys, he don't want us to see his small cock... We'll stop the freaks from comin' when she starts making noise."

The men all sniggered lecherously as they made their way out the door. Anton glanced back warily as he exited.

Once they were safely out I began sobbing. Daryl cautiously looked towards the door and then moved towards my head. He had tears in his eyes and his face was bright red. He kissed me quickly on my eyelids and then unsheathed his knife and began sawing at my binds, trying to get the blade wedged in without cutting me.

"Did they hurt you?" he asked, examining the swelling on my face. It was an obvious answer. But I don't think that was what he meant.

"They didn't ..." I gasped. "They didn't touch me." He was still working at the binds on my wrist.

"We gotta get out of here, these guys are nuttier than squirrel shit."

I nodded in agreement. He was looking around at the room and at the window behind me.

"Did you notice another way in?"

I shook my head.

"I was out cold when they brought me in."

He pulled the rope off my wrist and I twisted my hand around enjoying the cool air on the burning flesh.

"We gotta be quick." He knelt down to get to the bind at my ankle and as he knelt I saw the shadows in the doorway.

"That fucktard said somethin' before. I think they know that I know you." Daryl continued obliviously.

"We do, and we know, that you know that we know." Len stepped through the doorway. His men behind him sniggering at his choice of words.

They were all armed and were aiming their weapons at Daryl. Len lifted Daryl's crossbow ready into his arms and made a nodding gesture to Pointy and another man, that came over toward Daryl and I. One came close to me and I swung my free arm out towards him in an effort to punch him, it was my left arm and it was an awkward punch, and he was too fast. He grabbed my wrist and held it down firmly against the timber of the table. With the other hand, he pointed the gun to Daryl's temple. Pointy was now on Daryl's other side, with a gun pointed at his other temple. Daryl was frozen between the two.

"Both of you found over by cemetery drive." Len raised the crossbow to aim at Daryl's head.

"There's no way a pretty young'un like that would be out there on 'er own, and you...you looked like you had lost somethin' real special when we found you."

A wide mischievous grin was pasted on Len's face.

I looked to Daryl, his eyes were full of abhorrence.

"You gave over your bow a little too easily too."

Len pointed towards me and then put his hand back on the bow.

"She looked a lil relieved to have ya 'tween her legs, and I don't think it's just 'cause your prettier 'an me."

I tried to pull my wrist free from the man's hand again but he slammed it back down on the table.

"It's gonna be kind of ironic isn't it. Being killed by your own bow?" Len crowed.

I looked over at Daryl, he moved ever so slightly to the left, moving in closer to the man who was holding me. Was he planning something?

I saw Len's finger tighten around the trigger and a wail escaped my lips as I saw the arrow hurtling out towards Daryl.

* * *

There was a wet snap and a thud as the arrow hit home in his neck. It had skewed off to the right and pierced the man who was holding me. The guy grabbed towards it as blood started fountaining out all over me and all over the floor, he fell to the ground, choking and spluttering.

"Naw shit." Len dropped the bow to the floor with a clang. "Piece of shit bow."

Daryl was now wrestling with Pointy trying to get a hold of the gun. He elbowed him a few times in the face, and brought the man down to his knees. Then he started reaching for the knife that he must have dropped when he was cutting my binds.

As that happened Grey moved over and pushed the muzzle of his shotgun into Daryl's lowered head forcefully. Daryl let go of the knife letting it clang to the floor noisily.

Pointy recovered himself, stood up and gave Daryl a firm knee into his abdomen. Daryl doubled over expelling all the air from his lungs, while Anton just stood back in the darkness and watched.

During the commotion I had been trying to free my other wrist. But Len was now next to me and he slammed my head down on the table. I was momentarily stunned, seeing small yellow stairs in my vision. He was now holding my wrist back down with his grime covered hand.

"It's all good, he was fuckin' useless anyway." He pointed to the body on the ground, I could just make out the arrow sticking out of his neck from my position on the table.

"And I didn't really want you to miss this." He was speaking to Daryl.

He now moved between my legs, he began pulling at my underpants tearing them as he pulled them down over my thighs. I screamed at him and tried to move my hips around but he held me in place.

"You fucker, you sick fuckin' piece of shit! I'm gonna tear your guts out and wear 'em as a belt, you mother fucker. I'm gonna rip of your head and piss down your throat. I'm gonna feed you to the gators..." A whole stream of cusses were pouring out of Daryl's mouth, words I had never heard before, I'm sure he was making at least some of them up. Pointy and Grey both knocked the muzzle into Daryl's head at the same time, which quietened him down to a heavy panting.

Everyone was laughing at Daryl's display, except Anton who was still quiet in the back, holding his pistol aiming at Daryl.

"Who is she to you anyway?" Len said as he looked me over.

"Is she your daughter?"

Daryl flinched.

"It's your fuckin' daughter isn't it?"

"You fuckin' touch her and I'll cut your dick off and feed it to you." Daryl spat.

Len ran his free hand along my cheek and then grabbed a handful of my hair roughly, he turned my head towards Daryl.

"You want daddy to watch while I fuck you?"

All I could do was sob.

Daryl was still swearing his head off in a barely intelligible mumble.

"You going to call out for daddy?" Len was questioning me.

I kept my mouth shut. I couldn't call out for him, that would crush him.

He pulled my head up by my hair again, and slammed it back on the table. The pain throbbed through the back of my head and towards the swollen left side of my face.

"Call out to daddy." He urged.

I kept sobbing.

Len looked to Pointy.

"Kill him."

"No!" I wailed. "Daddy, help me!".

I wasn't even thinking of Daryl when I said it, I was thinking about my dad, as if he could arrange some kind of divine intervention from God and rescue the both of us. The tears were streaming down my face now, and now tears were falling down Daryl's face too.

"That's a good girl." Whispered Len in my ear, causing me to shudder in revulsion. He shook his head at Pointy who lowered his gun just a little.

"I think daddy likes to watch." Said Len as he began fumbling down between my legs. I squeezed my eyes shut waiting for what would come next.

_Don't be here Beth, be somewhere else, back at the farm, or in the prison, out in the woods with Daryl, anywhere but here._

"I think deep down, all men wanna fuck their daughters." It was Len's cruel cold voice.

_Block it out Beth, just block it out._

"You want to fuck your daughter don't ya?." I winced as I felt him press against me trying to get inside. I moved my hips away as much as possible while he tried to push in.

I kept my eyes clenched together as Daryl let out an inhuman wail.

And then I heard the cracking of the gunshot.

My ears were ringing from the sound that was reverberated through my skull, along with the scream that was escaping my own lips. I didn't want to open my eyes. I couldn't. To see Daryl's lifeless body, a bullet wound in his head, his face pale and expressionless. Confirming that he was lost, that would be worse than what my own body was about to endure.

Len pulled away from me and I felt a sense of relief tied in with a sickening anguish.

"What the fuck?!" Len said with outrage in his voice.

I opened my eyes, I had to see what he was responding to. I looked over to where I had last seen Daryl standing with the muzzle of the gun to his head.

He was now rolling on the floor in a struggle with Grey, he had hold of the shotgun and was wrestling him down to the ground. He forced the shotgun down knocking Grey's head back on to the hard ground and then using the butt of the gun to hit him in the face. Daryl flipped the gun in his arms and lined it up below Grey's upturned chin. He pulled the trigger, blowing his head clean off and spraying it's remains all over the floor.

My eyes shifted across to Anton who was standing with his handgun still drawn, with wisps of smoke escaping the muzzle. It was aimed at where Pointy had been standing. I looked down and saw Pointy on the floor, his head in a pool of blood.

Len let out a cry of fury and began stalking over towards Anton, while pulling his bow from off his shoulder. His pants were still pulled down around his hips as he shuffled along. He began shouting vehemently at Anton.

"You mother fuckin' untrustworthy piece of..."

Len suddenly groaned, and a look of bewildered shock was on his face. I looked down to see Daryl had crawled over to him. He was kneeling in front of him holding a knife that he must have got from Grey, it was buried up to the hilt in Len's groin. Len fell to the ground and Daryl straddled him and began slamming the knife down repeatedly into his groin.

Anton strode over to me, and cut the binds from my wrists and ankles with a knife. The raw skin on my wrists and ankles stung as the rope fibres pulled away. I pushed myself off the table almost collapsing as I placed weight on my weak legs and injured ankle. My ruined underwear fell to the floor and I kicked them off and away. I couldn't care about modesty at that point.

I moved over to Daryl. He was still stabbing at Len's groin, reaching the knife high above his head and slamming it down hard into his lower abdomen area. With every turn, the knife was getting deeper and deeper into the mess of blood, and guts until I heard it clanging on the concrete beneath him. The next time he lifted the knife I could see the blade had snapped off and now Daryl was just pummelling him with his fists clenched over the hilt. He was covered in blood and he was flinging mess and guts all over the room, all over me and Anton and the other dead bodies in the room. I could see he was being lost to madness.

"Daryl!" I called out to him. I was trying to get closer without being hit by his upward thrusts.

He didn't seem to hear.

"Daryl." I repeated.

"Daryl…"


	8. Clean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth and Daryl make there escape with their new found friend. Beth has been emotionally damaged, and Daryl tries to think of a way to help her heal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used 'mom' instead of 'mum', freaking myself out here.
> 
> I figured Daryl might call his bow 'Stryker' and his Knife 'Busse' rather than just 'my crossbow' and 'my knife' what do you think?

"Daryl."

That voice was familiar. It was Beth's voice, but she was gone, a car had taken her...No I found her again, they had her tied down and they were going to rape her...No they had been stopped. Was she here with me now?

I could hear the repeated thud, I could feel the sticky wetness all over my hands and face. I could see red, everywhere was red. He was dead, I had killed him. At least for now.

I let my fingers release what I had been holding and driving down into the lifeless body, and it fell to the ground. No blade. I had broken it.

I turned towards the sound of her voice and took in the sight of her face. It was red and swollen, and wet with tears and she was saying something to me. I looked at her lips.

"Daryl."

"Beth?" I felt the word come from my mouth, but I weren't entirely sure it was me who said it.

I looked her up and down taking in her dirty skin, the red welts around her ankles and wrists, her lack of underpants and the harsh reality set in. I shook my winged vest off my shoulders and wrapped it around her waist and then I pulled her down to hold her.

I was cradling her in my arms and rocking back and forth like I was holding Lil' ass kicker. My face was pressed into her hair, taking in the familiar scent and her face was sobbing in to my shoulder. We were both sobbing.

"We gotta go." Said an unfamiliar voice.

I looked up to see one of Joe's men standing over me. The young black guy, what was his name? Anton? He was holding a bundle of clothing out towards me. Dirty and bloody. I recognised Beth's dirty knitted sweater, stained yellow tee and her torn jeans.

I reached out and took the clothes from him, and then shifted Beth off me and helped her to get dressed.

Anton moved over to the door and put his back against the wall peering carefully outside.

"We need to get a move on, the others could be back at any time."

My hands were trembling so much that I was struggling to help Beth with her clothes, and she was trembling and sobbing so much that she was being no help to me at all.

"We're lucky that we had been forced so far out to hunt, or else they would have heard all the commotion and come runnin'." Anton was shifting around on his feet nervously.

It had been quite a trek back to the warehouse. When I left the others, none of them had caught anything, with any luck we still had time to get everything together and get out of here.

When I had finally pulled her clothes on I searched for her boots and socks which were in a crate by the side of the table along with all the other vis and pieces she carried around. I pulled one boot on, but when I tried to pull on the other over her injured ankle she cried out in pain, so I decided to leave it off.

Anton was motioning for us to go to the door. I didn't know what his motives were for helping us out. I'm sure if he hadn't, both of us would be dead, or worse, so I was grateful in a way. But the mere fact that he had been with these guys made me wary of having him around us.

"You ain't comin' with us." I asserted.

He gave an amused laugh.

"You ain't gonna get far without me, there more of them out there, and I sure as hell ain't stayin' here."

I didn't like the idea, I didn't know nothing about the guy, but he had just saved our lives, so maybe that was worth something. I would need his help to get away, and Beth was in no state to be fighting. I guess he could tag along for a bit, if he turned out shifty it wouldn't take much to get rid of him later down the track.

"How many walkers you killed?" I asked.

He looked like he was confused by the suddenness and nature of the question. I remembered what Joe had called the walkers.

"How many freaks?"

"I dunno. hundreds. Thousands?"

"How many people you killed?"

He turned and pointed to the body of the man he had shot on the ground.

"Just one."

"Why?" I really did want to know the answer to that one.

"To save your ass." He chuckled a little, like there was something amusing about it. I scowled at him and the smile left his face.

"He had it comin'." He added.

I nodded at his response, it still didn't give me a clear idea of his motives, but he obviously didn't have any loyalty to these guys, and that was a start.

I fumbled around the room grabbing at what I might need, some food, water, some rope and shoved it into my bag. I took Beth's trembling arm over my shoulder and walked over to my Stryker and picked it up. I put it over my shoulder and went to take Beth again but she pulled herself away from me, she turned around to look back at the warehouse like she had forgotten something.

"We gotta do somethin' before we go." She said in a weak voice.

She raised her hand and pointed at a table that had been next to hers. It was covered by a dark cloth.

"What is it?" I asked.

Anton cautiously walked over to the table and pulled back the cloth.

There on the table tied down just the way Beth had been was a naked female walker.

"Holy lord Jesus in heaven!" Breathed Anton, as he looked down on her.

I took a few steps forward to get a closer look. It wasn't a walker after all, it was a woman who had the shit beaten out of her, she looked like she had been tortured too and most likely raped. There was a fair amount of dried blood between her legs. My stomach lurched as I thought about what could have happened to Beth.

"Help me untie her." I said as I moved towards the ropes on her wrists.

"No Daryl." Beth objected. She was standing back and staring at the woman with a haunted expression on her face.

"You wanna leave her?" That wasn't like Beth, she was the most humane person I knew.

"She don't wanna come with us."

I looked at Beth and then back at the woman. I looked at her face, there was no life there. Her eyes turned to mine and gave me the look of someone who wanted to die.

I looked back to Beth again, she was nodding encouragingly, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks. I turned and cocked my Stryker ready to send a bolt into the woman's head and end her suffering.

Before I could pull the trigger, Anton pushed his handgun to the woman's temple, shot and splashed her brains over the table.

"That's two." Said Anton pointing at the woman's dead body.

* * *

After an hour of carrying Beth, my back was aching something fierce. I had to keep stopping to lift her in to a better position and she finally convinced me to put her down and let her limp along, while I took most of her weight on my shoulders. I checked back to see black smoke billowing into the air from the warehouse fire. We had made good distance.

I had wanted to take one of the cars in the warehouse, But Anton had told us they were all dry. The car they had most recently brought in had the gas line snapped when some idiot had been checking it over. It had emptied the gas all over the warehouse floor. I was pissed we had lost a method of transport, but used the opportunity to set light to the place and burn the motherfucker down.

We had scavenged the place beforehand grabbing what little had been left behind by Joe's crew. Anton had claimed a few rounds of ammo for his handgun, and I had grabbed the shotgun even though it only had one round left. I had also managed to find some bandages that I would use to rebind Beth's ankle when we had stopped.

We didn't really have a set course of direction, just running the opposite way from where Joe's crew had been hunting. I knew that the warehouse fire would have called them back home, and only hoped they weren't able to track us back into the woods.

When night came we decided to stop and make camp. Not trusting Anton that first night I had kept watch. Beth had been curled into a ball with her head in my lap, holding my hand to her chest, while I stoked the fire with a stick in my other hand. Even though I had urged her to get some sleep, every time I looked down on her face her eyes were wide open.

"She ain't your daughter is she?"

Dawn was near, and Anton had woken and was watching me looking down on Beth's face.

"No." I admitted.

"I figured as much. Think Len knew it too, he was just messin' with your head."

Anton sat up and stretched and groaned and cracked his neck.

"She your woman?"

He was probing for information I wasn't willing to give, so I just grunted.

"Were you together – before?"

I didn't reply.

"Probably not, she don't look too old. That would have been right messed up back then."

I glared up at him.

"But things are different now you know –it's cool." He gave a casual shrug.

If this guy didn't keep his mouth shut he was likely to get his head knocked off.

"How you guys meet anyway? Seem like an unlikely pair."

I grunted in response. _Get the clue fucker, I don't want to talk about this shit with you._

"You must have helped her out right? You take care of her, and she take care of you?" He had a lecherous grin on his face. Brave bastard. Brave and incredibly stupid.

I slipped Beth gently of my lap and stood up ready to confront him.

"You shut your mothafuckin' mouth, 'fore I knock them pretty white teeth out." I said poking my finger into the air between us.

He held his hands up defensively and leant backwards.

"It's cool man, just making conversation."

Beth was now propped up on her hands watching the exchange, her brow furrowed in concern.

"Well conversate about somethin' else" I suggested angrily, making my way back to Beth, dropping myself in to the dirt and putting her head back in my lap.

I hated the fucker, I hated his good looks. I hated the way he strutted around like he was king pin in fantasy land. I hated his friendly voice and chatty words. I especially hated the fact that we wouldn't be here chatting at all if it hadn't have been for his intervention.

"How about we talk about why you were with those sick fucks." I suggested.

"Why were you with 'em?." He retorted.

I had thought that Joe seemed like a fairly decent guy, I was grateful that he didn't just kill me and take my gear when he had the opportunity, but I don't think I could get passed the fact that he let his crew do what they did, and I wasn't sure I could get passed the fact that Anton also stood by with it.

"Survival. Strength in numbers." He added when I didn't reply.

"You couldn't survive without em?"

"I did, for near on three years, out there on my own. Freaks – ah, walkers at every turn, sometimes I had to run from huge hordes of them, sometimes going for three days without sleep, no one else to keep watch. Scared I would collapse and have some walker munching on me when I woke up."

Now Beth spoke up, it was the first time she had made a sound since we first left the warehouse.

"We've all had to do some pretty awful things to survive." She reasoned. "Anton's a good person, Daryl. I think he's proven that to us."

It wasn't proof enough for me, but the fact that she still believed in good people gave me hope that she would be able to recover from the shit she had just experienced. I decided to let up on Anton for her sake.

After a breakfast of canned beans, we left our little camp and moved deeper into the woods. I figured if we walked long enough we would eventually come across a road or something and be able to plan our next move from there.

Anton loved the sound of his own voice. He chatted about his life during the day, and at night when I took my turn to sleep he would hum tunes to himself.

He had been a college boy for a couple of years studying something to do with engineering, but his dad had died and he couldn't keep up with the tuition so he had taken a job with the navy, allowing him to complete his degree while serving.

He had been over in Kings Bay training at the sub bays when all this had hit. He had tried making his way back home to his Mom but after a year of wandering around and seeing all the terrible things he had seen he decided he didn't want to go home knowing his mom most likely didn't make it out alive.

The basic survival training he had with the navy had given him enough skills to keep himself alive out in the woods, and he claimed he had never found another group of survivors to stay with until Joe had found him. Joe had been impressed with his weapons knowledge and ability to take orders, and had invited him to stay with the group.

I saw his prowess myself when we came across a group of walkers a day later. When I had spotted them I had shifted Beth of my shoulders and put her to the ground. I pulled out the shotgun from my backpack ready to take them on.

There had been six walkers, and Anton had made five shots, hitting them all dead centre in the forehead. I shot the last one, and then tossed the gun, knowing I wouldn't find ammo anytime soon. He had holstered his weapon grinning with pride, and I had felt my lips curl up in a smile, even though I was sure I still hated his guts.

* * *

It was a couple days after leaving the warehouse that we came across a grove of Pecan trees. It had been a relief to see a new sight as I was sure we had just been going in circles for some of that time. I had let Anton lead the way, so I could see to Beth, and even though he was a seaman he clearly wasn't the best navigator.

It was after dusk and in the dim light I could make out a couple of wood panelled buildings beat up and overgrown with vines. There were two walkers strolling around in the distance who hadn't picked up on our presence yet, we weren't about to alert them neither, so we picked up the pace and moved on to our new destination.

There was a barbed wire fence surrounding the home, which would be handy at keeping the walkers out. Anton lifted and moved a post across so Beth and I could get through and then he pushed the post back in to the earth behind us.

The main house was rather large, big enough for a family. There was a worn out picket fence that stretched half way around. I thought of Beth's joke about picket fences, and thought about how for a second we thought we might have been happy back at that funeral home. Anton's feet crunching the ground behind me reminded me that if something was too good to be true, it wasn't worth dreaming about.

As we walked up to the porch I noticed freshly turned earth in the garden. I would say they were graves judging by the makeshift crucifixes standing over them. And the neat bunches of yellow flowers placed on top. I was glad for the darkness and of having Beth's face tucked into my chest when I recognised the small size of the graves and a pair of baby's booties hanging from one of the crucifixes. She would have thought of Lil' ass kicker just as I was.

Anton offered to go ahead and check out the house since he had the flashlight and I stayed holding Beth out on the porch. After a few moments he came out stating it was clear.

The sight of the wooden crib inside the home only confirmed to me that a baby had died there. And there was an old rag doll left by the fire, telling me the other graves must have been for children. Beth's eyes rested on the crib sadly and I knew I hadn't spared her the painful memory after all.

The living room looked as if it had been used recently, there was plenty of firewood by the fireplace and the soot was fresh. There was a half attempted puzzle spread out on the table. There were lanterns spotted all over the place and they smelt as if they had been recently lit. I wondered who had been here and if they planned on coming back anytime soon.

I took Beth down the hall in to the nearest bedroom. It had a large window with white netted curtains. Even though it was dark now, I knew she would enjoy the sun when it came up.

I lowered Beth carefully down on the bed, and then lit the lamp on the bedside table. I lifted Beth's feet up, and I took her one boot off and brushed some of the dirt from her other foot, being careful not to move her ankle around too much. I took the opportunity to wrap up her ankle in the fresh bandage and then rested it back on to the bed. Then I got up to leave her.

"You get some sleep, I gotta check this place out." I ordered, while backing towards the door.

She shot herself up and glared at me with a bewildered look.

"You can't leave me." She protested.

"Won't be far, just be outside, you call and I'll come runnin'."

She didn't look convinced.

"You need to get some shut eye. You've barely slept the last few days"

"I don't think I'm gonna be able to sleep." She drew her legs up and wrapped her arms around them.

"Just try to rest then." I suggested.

I scoped out the rest of the house with my Stryker drawn, not sure on how well I could trust Anton's scouting. I went into the room next to Beth, it was hard to see by the light from Beth's bedroom but I found a lantern inside and lit it. It was a bathroom, and it had been recently used judging by the lack of dust. I used the toilet and then checked out the flush. No running water. There was also an old cast iron bath with big brass feet.

I made my way out in to the living area. Anton was sitting on the couch. He had got the fire started in the fireplace and now had his feet up boots removed as if he had just come home from a hard day's work. I half expected him to ask me to start rubbing his feet. He smiled up at me as I entered, and I scowled back. The thought of playing happy families with him and Beth made my skin crawl.

I moved on into the kitchen, and found another lantern to light. The kitchen was relatively free of dust and the smell of roasted pecans still loomed in the air. I checked out the stove and found it still had gas connected to it. That would come in handy.

When I was satisfied with what the house had to offer. I went back into the room where Beth was. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, her eyes darkened with fatigue, but still wide open.

"I told you to get some rest." I scolded as I put my Stryker down.

"I can't." She said shakily. "I keep thinking I'm going to open my eyes and wake up back in that warehouse."

I walked over to her and dropped myself on the bed beside her.

"You don't need to think 'bout that. Len and those other fuckers are dead, there's good distance between us and the rest o 'em, and if you trust Anton then we don't have nothin' to worry 'bout."

Beth looked doubtful.

"Do you trust Anton?" I asked.

Beth pursed her lips in thought.

"He saved our lives, on a couple of different occasions now. He has no obligation to us, I think he's just a good guy who got caught up with the wrong people"

I knew all about that. But I still wasn't sure that was a good enough reason to trust him, but if Beth was comfortable with it, I was happy enough for now.

I shifted on the bed, and she clutched at my arm, she must have thought I was going again.

"Can you stay with me?" She pleaded looking up at me with her big blue eyes.

"Sure I can." I didn't think I would ever be able to leave her again.

* * *

She didn't sleep well that night, although I tried to, I kept waking up to her shifting in the bed. I tried holding her tightly, but she still wriggled about. I thought about trying my special tactics for getting her to relax, but my better judgement thought it was not something I should be bringing up at this time.

The light coming through the window woke me up at dawn. I sat up and stretched and yawned and then looked down on Beth. She still had her eyes wide open.

"You sleep at all last night?"

She shook her head. "I don't think so."

"Is there anythin' I can do?" I asked. I wished she could just tell me something, anything. I felt so helpless.

She shook her head again.

My stomach started grumbling and my thoughts slipped from sleep to food.

"You hungry?" I asked.

She shook her head again. That had to be a lie, the last thing I had eaten was the beans and she had hardly eaten any.

"I'mma get you some food." I got up grabbed my Stryker and went out to see what I could find.

* * *

Anton was already up and moving about the kitchen, I went in to see what he was doing.

"Mornin'." He called cheerfully when I walked in, like we were on some kind of daytime soap. All he was missing was the frilly apron. I tried to force a smile at him, and nodded a good morning.

There was a pleasant smell coming from the oven.

"You cookin' somethin'?"

"Yep, went out there early and bagged us a rabbit. Not too big, but enough for all of us."

Well wasn't that just fucking perfect.

"Great." I said with false enthusiasm and stormed out the kitchen. Flipping the bird to him, when he turned his back.

Outside in the daylight I could see things more clearly now. The pecan trees surrounded the home, and the ground was littered with nuts. They would be a nice change from canned food and game, might even help keep scurvy away. I would ask Beth to come and help me collect some after breakfast.

There were several flower gardens around the house that were neatly tended. I looked up to see the two walkers still wandering around in the distance and wondered if they had lived at this house.

While walking around the house I also spotted a well pump with a couple of iron buckets stacked up neatly against it, I went over and gave the pump a few presses. I splashed my face with the cool fresh water that made its way out, and gave my vest a bit of a rub, worried I might ruin it, but wanting to get some of the blood off, and then I had an idea.

* * *

It had taken a while carting the water back in the buckets, boiling it on the stove in the big pots and putting it in the bath. Anton had watched me moving back and forth with a puzzled look on his face. Eventually he offered to help me, but I told him I would do it on my own. When the water was several inches deep I decided it was ready.

I went out to talk to Anton, hoping I could encourage him to give Beth some privacy while she relaxed. I found him outside looking at the flowers.

"Think you could give Beth and I a bit of alone time?"

He turned towards me, and a sheepish grin was on his face. I knew what he was thinking, but I didn't plan on it happening.

"Yeah I guess so, what you want me to do out here?"

I looked around at the place.

"You could fix that fence up." I said gesturing to the barbed wire fence that had fallen over and curled up on itself.

"Get us some nuts." I gestured to the nuts on the floor of the grove.

"Or just keep lookin' at the flowers." I pointed to the yellow flowers in front of him, then I turned and walked back to the house before he had a chance to respond.

* * *

Beth was still sitting on the bed staring at her plate of Rabbit thigh. It was in the same position I had left it in earlier that morning.

I walked over to her and scooped her up off the bed.

"What are you doing?" she squealed gripping my shirt tightly.

"I got a surprise."

I carried her into the bathroom and put her down, she turned around and looked at the bath. I felt my heart flutter a little when I saw her smiling again.

"You remembered." She cried, dipping her hands into the water.

"What can I say. I'm a romantic." I was joking; although I knew what I had just done would probably be considered romantic.

She was still standing there staring at the bath, I thought maybe she was needing some encouragement so I helped her get undressed. I came at her from behind, and slipped my hands under her sweater and pulled it over her head. She giggled a bit when her tee and singlet got caught over her head and I helped her to pull them off too. Then she pushed her hands up her back and undid her bra, slipped it off her shoulders and let it fall to the floor.

My dick jumped in my pants like it had just got an unexpected surprise.

_Get a hold of yourself Daryl, you don't want to bone her, you want to help her heal._

She thumbed into her jeans and then slipped them down and off, pushing her bare ass out towards me in the process. This was going to be tough.

I tried my best not to stare at her ass and tits while she lowered herself in the water. When she let out a groan of relief, I almost let out a groan of frustration to meet it.

_Think of Grandma._

Then the dumbass side of my brain kicked in and I decided to take off my shirt and help her to wash. It was 'cause I didn't want it to get wet though. That was what I told myself anyways.

I had found some soap that looked handmade and a clean looking washcloth. I lathered up the cloth and ran it up her arms and over her shoulders, rubbing and scrubbing and massaging in to her skin. I squeezed the cloth and let the warm water roll down her shoulders and down over her chest and then fall in between her tits. I attempted to tear my eyes away as the large droplets rolled down and clung to the end of her nipples.

_Grandma, Grandma, Grandma._

She rested her head back in the bath and closed her eyes and let out a long and deep sigh, and I continued to torture myself rubbing the cloth over her body, down into the water over her belly and up her thighs to her bent knees and down the calf of the foot in the water. The other foot with the bandage was resting on the edge of the bath. I draped the cloth over the foot on her uninjured side and pulled it out of the water and began massaging in between her toes.

She let out another soft groan, and I looked back at her face. Her eyes were closed and she looked peaceful and pleased. The water was beading all over her face shoulders and chest, and my dick was throbbing.

_Grandma, Daryl! Fucking Grandma!_

"You feel better?" I finally managed to ask, when I had gained some control over my breathing.

"Yeah." She said opening one eye and peering at me.

"It is getting a bit cold though."

I put my hand back in the water, it was lukewarm, I had probably spent more time than I realised rubbing all over her body, lost in my thoughts of not fucking her.

"You wanna get out?" I asked.

She opened her eyes and sat up.

"I think I should before I start looking like Grandma."

I laughed internally at her comparison.

I got a towel for her and wrapped it around her while I helped her out of the bath. I rubbed her down to dry her off, rubbing over her tits and then down to her ankles drawing my hand up her legs and inbetween her thighs. I damn near had to beat myself upside the head, fighting the urge to lean forward and place a kiss there.

 _The girl was just damn near gang raped and all you can think about is boning_ _her_? _Dumbass_.

Making a quick retreat, I stood up and wrapped the towel around her shoulders. I tossed her clothes into the water along with my own blood stained shirt, thinking I would give it a scrub later.

_I thought you didn't want to get your shirt wet?_

Shut the fuck up, brain.

I led Beth back to the room and passed her a relatively clean sweater I had found in the room. It was too large for her, but I would need to wash her clothes and it would be warmer than a wet towel.

She pulled it over her head and lay back down on the bed. I think she looked just as sexy in that oversized sweater, laying back on that bed, as she did laying naked in the Bath.

"Think you can sleep now?" I asked.

She shrugged her shoulders.

"Will you hold me? - til I fall asleep."

Just hold her?

_Damn girl, you're asking me to do the impossible._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I promised a sex scene, but a bathing scene is still pretty good right?
> 
> Like my 'look at the flowers' reference? I couldn't help myself, and thats just how Daryl feels about Anton at the moment.


	9. Duets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth finds she has a lot in common with Anton.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seem to spend more time developing the sex scenes than the story, but thats what we're here for right?
> 
> Songs in this chapter:  
> Five Satins - In the still of the night  
> Carrie Underwood - Unapologize  
> 

I watched over my shoulder as Daryl toed out of his boots and crawled into the bed behind me. He put his warm and heavy arm over mine, and pulled me in to the comforting curve of his body. The warmth and smell of him enveloped me, dragging me into a welcome sense of safety. I wished I wasn't wearing the sweater so I could feel the touch of his skin against mine. It seemed like forever since we had held each other while naked.

He started stroking his hands along my arms and made his way down to my forearms and then along my wrists. He trailed his fingers over my wristbands and over the bumpy ridges of the scar from where I had cut myself with the piece of broken mirror back at the farm. I flinched away slightly at the touch, not because it hurt, but because no one had ever touched me there before.

"Does that still hurt?" He asked.

"No, not for a long time." I replied.

"I didn't mean the scar, I meant losin' your mom, losin' your family?"

I let out a long thoughtful sigh. "I know what you meant Daryl."

It had been two years since I had lost the farm, lost my mom, my brother and Jimmy. It hurt like hell at first, but then I learnt to just continue on with life, you had to let the past go or it would just consume you. I would always think of them, but the pain was gone. The pain of losing my dad and Maggie however was still lingering.

I pulled away from him a little and rolled over to face him, propping my hand under my head and looking down on him.

"Roll over." I instructed.

He raised a curious eyebrow at me, most likely clueless of my intentions, and then obligingly rolled over exposing his broad and muscled back to me.

I closely inspected his tattoos. Two winged demons reaching out for each other. I wondered what it had meant. Maybe it was supposed to represent him and Merle, the older brother pulling the younger to the darkness. It probably didn't mean anything as sentimental as that. It was more likely to be something he got when he was younger under the pressure of Merle.

I looked over the pinkish ridges that were lined all over his back, and gently ran my fingers along them, tracing them like they were a connect the dot. I wondered how they had happened. A whip or a belt, or maybe a switch. They were too deliberate to be from some kind of hunting accident.

"I don't think you ever told me how you got these."

His shoulders suddenly tensed and I stopped tracing the lines.

"Was my dad." He finally said.

The words sounded new to him, like he had never spoken them before.

"Your dad did this?"

"Mmm hmm." He mumbled.

"Does it still hurt?" I asked, wondering if he would know I meant it the same way he did. His shoulders rose as he took in a deep breath and then blew it out slowly.

"No" He replied calmly. Was he telling the truth? Could he get over that kind of abuse so easily?

"Took me a while to realise it, but my dad was jus' some sad, old drunk who got a power trip off...beatin' weak kids. He was pathetic. As I got older I just pitied him. I don't really think about it too much, and when I do it doesn't hurt. It's just somethin' in my past, that happened and I can't do nothin' about it."

Was that the truth? Or was that Daryl pushing his feelings away.

Daryl had a lot of scars. Some of them he had got from when I had known him, some of them were older. I traced over the smaller circular scar that was on his side. That had been from back at the farm. He had taken Nervous Nelly out and she had thrown him down a cliff and he had managed to shoot himself with a crossbow arrow.

He had a large scar on his forehead just below his hairline. That was from back at the prison when we were trying to clear away pallets to give the kids space to play. One had fallen and caught him in the head. It was a deep cut and daddy had to stitch him up.

There were deep scars on his forearm, where he claimed he had got in to a fight with a bobcat while hunting. He said he had won, but he didn't bring the bobcat home. I wasn't sure I would be too keen on eating bobcat meat anyway.

He had scars littered all over his face, crisscrossed over his abdomen and spotted on his arms. I started rubbing every one of them wondering where they had come from.

"If you're gonna ask me the story behind all my scars, I'm ain't gon' remember shit. I was out of it for at least half o' 'em."

I pouted at his blaaze attitude.

"I guess the pain heals in time, but the scars never go away." I said softly, putting to words my earlier thoughts.

Now I was thinking about the more raw pain that was still fresh on my body around my wrists and ankles, and in my memories of what had happened, and what could have happened, back at the warehouse. There was an emptiness inside me, that I felt the urgent need to be filled, and I felt as if it could only be filled by Daryl.

"Time helps." Daryl agreed with me. He was watching my face and probably reading my thoughts again.

I ran my hand over his waist touching the bundles of muscle that grew down over his hips and down below into his jeans. I moved my hands up to the front of his abdomen, feeling the firm muscle covered with a soft layer of cushioning, then up to his chest and tangled my fingers through the fine greying hairs there. I pushed myself through my sweater in to his back imagining the touch of his skin against my breasts. I dropped my head down and gently placed a kiss on the warm skin of his shoulder. My mind was completely gone from the pain of the warehouse and it was now focused on the pulsating heat developing between my legs.

"You can help." I breathed into his neck, hoping he would get the message of what I wanted, and not be scared to give it to me.

He rolled back against me and I shifted out of the way. He wrapped his arm under my neck and put his hand to my shoulder and pulled me down so my head was rested in the crook of his neck.

"I can try". He replied. But the way he was gently stroking my shoulder made me think he didn't quite know what I was implying.

I reached my hand over to his shoulder and squeezed on to the firm muscle. I wrapped my leg around his waist and pushed myself in against his hip. The pressure of his body against mine released some of the tension that was building down below, but not all of it. I lifted my face to his and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips, and pulled away to speak to him.

"I need you to help me now." I whispered.

His eyes widened, and I think he finally go the message.

"I think..." he started.

Don't you dare reject me now Daryl Dixon.

"You think what?" I said trying not to sound hurt.

"I think we need more time for that too."

That was not the response I was looking for, but I half expected it. Daryl was rough around the edges, but he was an honourable and respectful man. However there was a part of me that thought he just didn't want to touch me - because Len had been so close.

"You don't want me anymore?" I said looking down on his face.

"No it's not that."

I pulled away from him and rolled on my back staring up at the ceiling and trying not to cry like a spoilt child who had lost her favourite toy. He propped himself up on his elbow and looked down on my face.

My eyes glanced over to him and I could feel the tears starting to brim. I was ruined in his eyes, what we had for such a short time was lost.

"It is that." I said quietly. "You don't want to touch me after you saw me with...him." I gave a gulp.

He reached over and stroked my cheek, then cupped it in his hand and turned my face towards his.

"I don't - but not for the reasons you're thinkin'."

"What reason then?" I could feel my eyes glaring. Be gently Beth, it's not his fault.

"Don't think what you want will help none. Think it might make it worse."

"How could it?"

"Dunno, maybe it'll bring it all back to you. The way you felt...then."

I screwed up my face thinking about what I felt then. It was not how I felt now. There was no yearning, there were not pangs of desire growing in my belly and screaming for release between my legs.

"Nothing really happened back there. It was a horrible experience, but it could have been worse...Even if it was worse it wouldn't be the same as what we had." I tried to reassure him.

He lowered his eyes.

"What happened back there wasn't sex. It was just him trying to take something away from me, my dignity, my worth."

I took his hand, that was holding my cheek, in both of my hands and began rubbing my fingers along it, over his palm up his own fingers and in between them.

"You give me something Daryl. You give me comfort, you give me hope, you make me happy."

Deliriously happy.

"I want you to make love to me." I suggested, letting the words slip of my tongue as if they were satin on silk.

I saw him flinch a little.

I knew that it was the wrong phrase to use, Daryl didn't have much experience with the word, and even though what I had meant was just to have sex, he was reading more in to it.

He caught his breath as if he was going to say something, but changed his mind.

I waited for his response.

"I don't know how." He finally confided.

I raised my brows in amusement.

"You don't know how?"

He shook his head. "Nah, not really."

"Well what were you doing before?" I asked, my face twisted in confusion.

He lowered his eyes a little, and it was confirmed to me that he did think I was talking about love. I had never really loved anyone before. Except in a platonic way. But I guessed it would feel something like what I felt for Daryl. I was pleased that he wasn't trying to deny me or push me away. Maybe he was feeling the same way about me, but with his history there was no way he would know how to show it.

"Maybe that's something that I can teach you." I suggested, as I reached up and stroked along his jawline and his chin, rubbing my fingers through the coarse hair on his face.

"You're less experienced than me." He pointed out.

"Not in how to love."

His wide eyed look told me that he understood what I meant.

I ran my hands through his hair until my fingers were touching at the back of his head and then urged his face down to my mouth. His breath was warm and familiar, and the bitter taste of him was exhilarating.

He ran his own hands over my shoulder and down my arms to my waist, over my backside and down to my thighs. He pushed his hands under my sweater, grabbing the bottom of it and tugging it up. I lifted my body up and helped him to take it over my head and then throw it to the floor. I went straight back to kissing him. Pressing my breasts against his chest, and relished in the searing sensation of his flesh against mine. He let out a shallow groan and I knew he felt it too.

I ran my hands over his shoulders and back, running my fingers along the raised scars back and forth, rubbing him firmly and pulling him in to my arms. My strokes made their way down to his lower back and then my fingers tucked down the back of his jeans slipping in between the denim, and grasping his firm backside in my hand and giving it a squeeze. My hand then slipped around to the front and brushed against the end of him. I lingered there for a moment. Exploratively I pressing my thumb over the smooth bulbous end, and then started stroking down the shaft. He groaned into my mouth, and I laughed gently back in to his.

I started working on his belt, pulling it open and loosening it in the loops. I fumbled with the button and fly of his jeans while he stroked along my backside and over my thighs. He lightly skimmed over the hot, wet spot between my legs, tickling me and making me squirm in delight.

I forced his shoulder down on to the bed and then rolled to kneel beside him and started tugging down on his jeans. He helped me to pull them down, off his legs and then toss them aside.

I wrapped a hand around his shaft and then leant in to kiss him. He ran his hand along my back and to my backside, pulling me towards him. I was giving him firm, long strokes, and he had grown rock solid in my hand. I wanted him inside me, and I thought I would lose my mind if I waited anymore.

"Girl, you best stop pullin' on me or it'll be over before it's started." He cautioned.

He had obviously been thinking the same thing as me.

I threw my leg over and then guided him to my entrance, letting out a moan as he pushed himself inside, gliding through my wetness. My muscles gripped deliciously around him, and I felt them spasm in desire.

He was looking up at me holding on to my thighs that were straddled over him. I was grinding my hips around relishing in the sensation of him moving around inside me. He ran his hands up over my waist and to my ribs and then placed them over my breasts, and rubbed them firmly but gently.

I lent down to kiss him, and placed my arms under his shoulders and started pulling him up, wanting him to be close to me. He gave into my pressure and sat up moving his hands back to my waist. I shifted my legs wrapping them around his waist, while I sat connected to him in his lap.

He was kissing my collar bone and neck and I had my head arched back groaning in pleasure. When I had gained some kind of control over my body I pulled his face away and held it in-between my hands. I wanted to see his face, look into his eyes, make sure that he was here with me, and stop myself from going back to the bad place I had been in before.

"Look at me." I murmured.

He did as he was told with an initial look of childlike uncertainly on his face, that eventually gave way to a look of yearning and desire. I let out a groan as the intense look he gave me sent a new type of thrill through my body. The way his face was gently contorting around the eyes and lips was delectably tantalizing.

I continued to grind my hips around, rolling myself over him. He had a firm hold of my back, supporting the weight of my upper body. I was moaning and he was groaning and we were both fighting the urge to squeeze our eyes shut.

I finally gave in and closed my own eyes and mashed my lips into his, forcing my tongue into his mouth. He did the same while thrusting his hips upwards meeting with my rolls.

I was moaning uncontrollably into his mouth and he moved his lips away gasping for air, then resting them on my cheek. I could feel that tears of joy and relief and exhilaration had rolled down from my eyes, and he was pressing his lips against them and touching them lightly with his tongue.

Our bodies had got into a synchronised motion, rolling and grinding together. Our hands rubbing all over each other, our faces cheek to cheek, our mouths moaning into each others ear.

I could feel him starting to throb inside me, and I thought he had lost control for a moment, but then he threw himself back on the bed, pulling me forward with him, and pushing my legs out to the side. He let out a loud groan and I felt the warmness spurting over my backside.

I collapsed on top of him, my head in the crook of his neck. We were both panting and sweating and placing firm strokes over each others bodies. He reached down to grab the covers and he rubbed them along my backside and then pushed the covers to the side. My panting became softer and the movement of my hands began to slow, my breathing began to regulate and my body gave way to sleep, listening to the soft thumping of his heart.

I woke up to the darkness. It had been the best sleep I had had in days, but my body still felt a little achy and tired. I reached out looking for Daryl so I could curl back into his warmth, but my hand just landed on cold bed sheets.

In the dim light I searched around for the oversized sweater Daryl had found for me and pulled it over my head. I pulled on my socks that were stuffed in to my boots by the side of the bed, being careful with my ankle, which was starting to feel better thanks to Daryl's excellent binding skills.

I limped carefully out of the room and out in to the living area. Daryl was out there sitting by the fire, eyes closed and head tilted back with a light snore escaping his lips. The light from the fire was dancing across his naked chest. His legs were bare too, but he had a towel wrapped around his waist. Our clothes were spread out on the floor by his feet in front of the fire to dry. I went to move over to him to wake him and ask him to come back to the bedroom, but then I noticed the dark figure of Anton standing outside on the porch looking out in to the moonlight.

I decided it was high time I thanked him for everything he had done.

I pushed open the screen door which creaked loudly. Anton turned to face me, and I cautiously pushed the door out further hoping I didn't disturb Daryl with the sound. I ducked through the opening and then eased it back to a close.

"So the dead has risen." Anton said with a grin spreading over his face. He raised his eyebrows in amusement at his own words. "Sorry, bad joke." He chortled.

"Daryl been sleepin' long?" I asked as I approached him and leant over the balustrading of the porch.

"Not so long. He came out of the room a few hours back. Had something to eat, shelled some pecans for you for when you woke up" He thumbed over his shoulder towards the door, indicating to where my pecans must be. "He messed around with that bow of his, sharpened his knife, set up a fire, went and scrubbed them jeans in the bathroom, sat down in the chair and then passed out."

"He must be exhausted." I said to myself. I tried to remember how often he had slept over the last few days. I knew that every time I tossed and turned I had woken him, and I had been tossing and turning a lot. On top of that he had been taking shifts through the night alternating with Anton so he would never really have a whole night's sleep anyway. I wondered how much sleep Anton had during the time we were trudging through the woods.

"Thank you." I blurted out without precursor.

He looked down on me, perhaps waiting for more.

"...For helping us out. I know it was dangerous."

"Don't mention it." He said casually, waving his hand dismissively.

"Don't think I could have done it if I didn't have the help of your man there." He tilted his head back towards the house.

I looked down into the garden and started rubbing my thumbs together nervously. I wasn't even sure if Daryl was my man. After all we had been through, we had never really talked about it, and I didn't think Daryl was the type who wanted to have that type of discussion.

"He is your man right?" Anton queried. He must have been reading my body language.

I kept my eyes downcast thinking more about what the answer was.

"'Cause you know, I walked out there - must have been for miles." He said motioning to the surrounding property.

"And I could still hear you." He started chuckling. I blushed at his brazen reference to my sexual activity.

"Had to hold off the walkers who came runnin'." He was still beaming like he found it all very amusing.

"Stop." I said playfully. I found it quite interesting and a little unnerving that he could talk about such things without showing the least bit of discomfort.

"He takes care of you?" He asked.

"He does. He takes very good care of me."

"Is that why? Do you feel like you owe him somethin'?"

"No!" I said, incredulously.

"I just wonder why a young pretty girl like you would go for old Ebenezer in there."

I went for him for a number of reasons. Because he was family to me, and he made me feel safe. Because he was hopelessly loyal, and I knew I would always be able to rely on him. Because he was crazy sexy with his broad shoulders and well-toned arms, even the way he brooded and scowled was a turn on.

A big part of my attraction to him was because he had taken such good care of me, but did I fell like I owed him? That wasn't why I wanted to be with him, was it? Now Anton had me questioning my own feelings towards Daryl. It made me horribly uncomfortable.

"Let's not talk about it anymore." I suggested.

"Okay." He agreed.

We stood in an uncomfortable silence listening to the night.

It was unnaturally quiet on that night, I couldn't hear anything. Not the rustle of the wind in the trees, or the distant growls of walkers, no cicadas, no frogs.

"It's so calm...so still." I finally said breaking the silence.

Anton gave a low chuckle and then he started humming to himself.

The hum graduated into a doo wup, and then I picked up on the tune and added in my own voice.

In the still of the night  
I held you, held you tight

He dropped the doo wop and started harmonising in with my own voice.

'Cause I love, love you so  
Promise I'll never let you go  
In the still of the night

It seemed like such a cliché thing, singing that song in the still of the night, but I was grateful for the distraction.

"Wow you're a really good singer." I told him. He was amazingly good. He had the type of voice that sent chills through your body and left your skin all goose-pimpled.

"Thanks. You're not so bad yourself."

"It's not usually my style, but everyone knows Boys to men." It was a well-known song, but I only knew who sang it because Maggie liked them when she was younger.

He chuckled to himself, like he knew an inside joke.

"It's Five Satins, not Boys to men." He advised with a hint of gloating.

I flushed a little, ashamed that I didn't know who the original artist of the song was, given my musical background.

He must have noticed the red rise on my skin, because he started trying to make accommodations for me.

"They're a bit before your time."

I looked him over, he didn't look much older than me.

"Before my time? You look like you're from my time."

He regarded me, eyeing me up and down.

"I'm twenty three. You still look like a baby."

"I'm eighteen." I objected.

"Still a baby." He said with an amiable snicker.

I shouldered him and he made an over-exaggerated stumble.

"I guess we're both babies in comparison." He said nodding his head towards the house, obviously referring to Daryl.

I smiled to him, and wondered what Daryl would have thought about that remark. He certainly didn't need any more reminders of how much older he was than me.

"You like the classics?" I said, trying to change the subject again.

"I like anything with a rhythm and a beat." He grinned into the night.

"Were you a singer - before?" I had heard him tell Daryl that he had joined the Navy, but I had thought he had the look of someone who could be famous, an actor or a model. He was definitely attractive enough, and he had a certain confidence and charisma about him. Maybe he could have been famous if none of this happened.

"I sang at church choir, but other than that just for fun."

"Yeah, me too." I agreed.

"You were a church goer?"

"My daddy made me, but I liked goin' anyways."

"Me too." He agreed. "I'm glad he did you know – made me go. When everything went to hell, I knew how to keep faith."

"Me too." I agreed. We both tittered at the repetitive phrase.

"Although my faith has transferred somewhat from God to mankind." He explained.

I looked at him waiting for more.

"When we feel like we're alone in the world, it's the others that give us faith."

I nodded at him and he continued on.

"Just got to keep hopin' and prayin' that there are good people out there still - to help keep you on the right path, or bring you back to it."

He reached out and touched me gently on the shoulder.

"I'm glad I was able to find good people like you. Restore my faith a little."

I touched his hand on my shoulder.

"Me too."

"Me too." he mimicked.

He was watching me now with his soft brown eyes, that squinted a little like he was peering at the sun. A gentle smile was on his wide smooth lips. I studied his face and his body language, the way he was leaning in to me, the way his eyes were searching my face, and I recognised a hint of desire. I felt my own body go rigid when I realised that my body language and facial features were imitating his own.

Jeez Beth what's wrong with you? Your body's still aching and wet from being with Daryl and you're thinking of another man.

I barely even knew this guy. His good looks were turning my brain to mush.

I pulled myself away from him swiftly and backed my way towards the door.

"I got to go back to bed." I said hastily.

I gave a stretch and yawn which was cringeworthingly false, and then quickly dodged back through the creaking door.

Once inside I went over to the table and dipped my hand in the bowl of pecans Daryl had left out for me, I started shovelling them in to my mouth enjoying the buttery flavour and crunchy texture. I was hungry and wished I had have eaten some of that rabbit earlier. I picked the dish up and turned back to go sit by Daryl.

He was now sitting up leaning forward looking into the fire. The sight of him awake startled me. He must have woken when I came back in that stupid creaking door. His eyes looked up at me glaring moodily.

The look was a cold one and it froze me on the spot. He tore his eyes from mine and stared back to the fire. I suddenly wasn't hungry anymore and put the bowl back on the table and moved over to him.

"Somethin' the matter?" I probed.

"Nuh." He muttered.

I hesitated trying to think what I had done to make him act like that. Had he overheard something I said outside? I racked my brain trying to think of exactly how my conversation with Anton went. As long as Daryl couldn't read my thoughts, our conversation seemed harmless.

It wasn't at all unlike Daryl to have his mood swings though, so maybe it was nothing.

He was still staring at the fire avoiding eye contact.

"You gonna come back to bed?" I said, breaking the silence.

"I got some stuff to do."

I looked around at the room, and it him sitting there half naked on the chair.

"Like what?"

"I dunno, girl...Things. Jus' lea'me alone."

I took a step back at the snappiness of his reply. I could have probed for more. I could have argued with him. But I didn't think I was going to get far with the mood he was in, so I made my retreat back to the bedroom.

The rest of the night's sleep was broken, I woke several times and reached out under the cool covers searching for Daryl, but he wasn't there. It was a horribly empty feeling. In the bed, and in my heart.

When I got up in the morning Daryl and Anton were both cataloging and packing the bags with whatever extra supplies they had found at the house. Their weapons were resting against the doorway like they were ready to make a quick departure.

"We goin' somewhere?" I asked.

Daryl just looked up at Anton like he wanted him to answer.

"We're gonna head back out over to some train tracks I found while walking around yesterday." Anton answered.

"We are? I thought we might stay here a bit. There's food and water, rich earth we could plant some crops on..."

"Daryl thinks we might have somewhere better to go." Anton interrupted and nodded his head towards Daryl.

I looked over at him, shifting around in his bag and waited for him to elaborate.

"Like what?" I finally spoke up when he didn't.

He looked up at me.

"Your sister."

"What do you mean my sister?"

"There was a map down there, by the train lines. Talks about a place called Terminus. It said 'those who arrive survive'" Anton answered.

"I heard somethin' like that when we were out lookin' for medicine after that outbreak at the prison." Daryl finally chimed in. "I figure if the place exists and if the others made it out here, that might be where they are"

I could feel the excitement of hope bubbling in my belly. I bounded happily over to Daryl and gave him a hug. His body was rigid against mine, but that wasn't anything unusual. I pulled myself away and gleamed up at him.

"They'll be there, I know it." I asserted.

He forced a smile on to his face.

The tracks Anton had been talking about were about an hour's walk from the house and when we spotted them I jumped up excitedly and kissed Daryl on the cheek. He just scowled and shouldered me away gently.

I examined the sign that Anton had been talking about, dirt covered and faded, I figured it had been there for a long time. All the tracks were diverging to a central point, the tracks were tendriling out through the area, covering good ground. There was every bit the possibility that the others would come across the train lines, and hopefully across the signs as well.

Anton was sharing in my excitement and he walked along side me as we approached the rails. We stepped between the lines and trudged along, listening to the satisfying plod of the wooden rail ties, and the crunch of the crushed stones below our feet.

With Anton beside me I couldn't help but meet the urge to sing so I started on a Carrie Underwood song I remembered mentioned a train and it seemed fitting.

Last night, I was pouring out my heart  
Like a waterfall to you  
And with one kiss, I was a runaway train  
Flying off the track to you

Anton made me giggle when he pulled his voice in to a high pitched mock of a woman's voice and began belting out the second verse as if it had been one of his favourite songs.

We must have spent hours singing every song we could think of that involved a train, tapping out the beat with our feet on the tracks. Some of them folk songs, some rock songs, some country, some blues the most amusing was when Anton sang a verse from a Fatman scoop remix and began bouncing all over the place, waving his arms in the air and stumbling over the tracks. I hadn't laughed so hard in years. I was having so much fun I didn't even care that we were dawdling along, when before I had been in such a rush to get to our destination.

I felt overwhelmingly guilty when I realised Daryl had been several yards behind us the whole time scowling at us.

I stopped to wait for him, but when he looked up and saw me standing there he stopped himself.

"You keep on goin' there." He said flicking his finger down the train line.

"If I hear another song about train's I'm gonna bash my own skull in with one of these 'ere rocks." He booted into the ground and sent a spray of rocks up and over the rails, tumbling down the slope and catching in the furrow.

We didn't sing anymore after that, but Daryl didn't come any closer.

After about an hour of walking and chatting to Anton about his childhood, Daryl suddenly came up behind us and pushed us off the tracks and up the side of the line into the trees.

"What's going on?" I asked.

He pushed his fingers to his lips telling me to hush.

"What is it?" I whispered.

"I can hear someone, coming up behind us." He whispered back.

Anton carefully placed his bag on the ground and then slipped out his handgun from his holster. Daryl readied his crossbow, and I reached into the sheath by Daryl's side and pulled out his knife.

"Think it could be Joe's guys followin' us?" Daryl whispered to Anton.

"I hope not." Anton whispered back. "If it is, we open fire, no questions."

Daryl held his bow in one hand and put his other arm out back across us, telling us to be quiet and still, while the figures approached.

There was a single figure who approached at first, and then two behind it. The first one looked like a woman. She couldn't be part of Joe's crew, she wasn't tied up.

I crept forward pushing against Daryl's arm as I began to recognise the gait, the clothing, the hair.

"Maggie!" I squealed, pushing through Daryl's arm and half running half tumbling down the embankment, ignoring the pain in my ankle and throwing myself into my sister's open arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. A black man who can sing. very cliché, this chapter is full of clichés, if I was capable of original thought, I probably wouldn't write fanfic.
> 
> I HAD to reunite Beth and Maggie, given that they may never see each other again in the show.


	10. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth and Daryl are reunited with Bob, Sasha and Maggie. And Daryl is reunited with Beth - for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter while drunk and hungover (big weekend) it's a little short, but I think it still makes sense. I wanted to get it out before I watch the season finale. The two chapters I plan on writing after this one focus on bringing the story back in line with the canon.

We came to the decision to make camp right there in the furrow besides the train tracks. We were all too worked up over being reunited to think about moving on. Bob, Sasha and Maggie told us stories about their travels from the prison. How they had found the bus from the prison, but Glenn hadn't been on it. How they fought a herd of walkers in the fog with no visibility. About how Bob near got bit and was saved by his bandage. Maggie being resourceful and using the corpses of walkers to protect her while she rested. Beth told them about our journey too, but she left out a few of the grizzly details, and to my relief she didn't mention anything about what had happened between us.

Beth told them a stretched truth of how she and I had stumbled across a warehouse, when Len and his cronies came back and were planning on killing us, but Anton had come to the rescue. Maggie and Sasha looked at Anton with big doe eyes, like he was some kind of superhero. Bob looked at him like he was competition, and I just kept my mouth shut.

Later Beth and Maggie walked off alone together in to the trees, and when they came back their eyes were red and they had clean trails through the dirt on their faces and I knew they had been crying. They could have been talking about Hershel, or maybe about Glenn, or maybe about what happened to Beth. It was hard to tell, as they had so much to cry about.

While Beth and Sasha stood around the fire, debating on how to dig a good pit, and Bob and Anton were bonding over some military stories in a lingo I couldn't understand, Maggie made her way over to me. Her determined eyes were fixed on mine, and she was marching boldly, like she had something important to say.

I tried to think of something I could do to pretend to be busy, I wasn't ready to have this awkward conversation yet. I looked to my crossbow, maybe I could run off and claim I needed to hunt. My eyes then went to my Busse. I may just need that for protection against her. I tried to look for any distraction or excuse not to talk to her, but my brain was racing too fast for me to grasp on to anything.

"Beth told me everythin' about what happened with you two." She said stopping before me with her arms crossed over her body, and her greene eyes piercing through mine.

I froze on the spot. Has she really told her _everything_? And was Maggie about to beat my head in for it?

"It must have been awful for her. Having an experience like that, with some...dirty old man."

Well that was harsh, and a little unexpected.

"Now just hold up one damn minute..."

"I know you did everythin' you could for her." She interrupted, holding up a placating hand. "And it weren't your fault."

Okay so maybe Beth had told her that she was the one who made the first move, and I just went along with it, because that _was_ what happened. I never would have made a move on her, if she hadn't made it clear that she wanted me to. Still there was no reason to be calling me names.

"If you and Anton hadn't been there, it could have been much worse. Just imagine, your first time bein' like that."

I stifled a groan as I realised what she was talking about. It was what Len and the others had done to Beth, not what I had done to her. And if she thought that was her first time having that kind of experience, Beth obviously hadn't told her anything about us yet.

"I'm very grateful that you took care of my baby sister." She continued.

"Any other man probably would have taken advantage of a teenage girl out there vulnerable and alone, needin' another person for survival. They might have made her feel obligated."

Well that was a knife twisted into the gut. Any other man might have made her feel obligated. That was what Anton had said too, and Beth hadn't denied it. That wasn't what I had intended, I never felt like she owed me anything, but I couldn't speak on what Beth felt.

Maggie was studying my face now, and I hoped it wasn't revealing too much of my guilt. She leaned in and planted a kiss on my cheek.

"You're an honorable man Daryl Dixon."

She gave my shoulder a squeeze and then walked away back to Beth and the others, leaving me alone and confused.

That night, Beth slept wrapped up protectively in Maggie's arms, and I spent the night questioning every move I had made since leaving the prison.

* * *

In the morning Sasha and Maggie raided Beth's bags like a pack of wild dogs fighting over a bone, trying to find the Pecans we had shelled back at the grove. When they had emptied the bag of them they roasted them over the fire, using a piece of corrugated sheet metal. I knew that a few handfuls of Pecans weren't going to feed the six of us, so I started sharpened my knife and cleaned the grit out of my Stryker ready to go and hunt something worthwhile.

Beth had been sitting in the dirt running her fingers through her blonde hair and tying it back into a pony tail. She spotted me sitting on the tracks watching her and she got up, walked over to me and dropped down beside me.

I looked over at the others who seemed to be too preoccupied to notice Beth and I. Maggie and Sasha were laughing by the fire, Bob had stepped off the tracks to take a piss and Anton was sitting in a ditch with lathered soap all over his head. He was scraping away at the growing stubble with his knife, looking into a piece of broken mirror.

"What the hell is he doin'?" I said, nodding my head towards him.

Beth looked at him and then back to me.

"It's called grooming." She reached out and flicked through my hair.

"You should try it some time."

I growled and playfully pushed her hand away.

"What ya need groomin' for out 'ere?"

She gave her shoulders a shrug.

"I dunno - to look pretty?"

I looked back over to Anton, rubbing over his glistening wet head, and admiring his model looks in the mirror.

"Is pretty what you like?" I asked.

She gave me a grin and then reached out her hand and slipped her fingers inside my shirt, just below my collarbone. She looked like she was about to pull me in for a kiss, then her eyes flicked over to Maggie, who must have been watching us. She pulled her fingers out of my shirt and then brushed them over my collar as if she were removing dirt.

"You don't wanna tell your sister huh?"

She pulled her hands away from me and placed them on her knees.

"I just can't talk about that kind of stuff with her yet. She's worried 'bout Glenn, I can't have her fussin' over me too."

"It's better we don't." I grumbled.

She raised an eyebrow at me.

"Don't ever?"

"Do we need to?"

It came out snappier than I intended it to, but I was feeling like shit about what Maggie had said. The thought of coming out with it all had my guts all twisted up inside. She looked kind of hurt at my tone, and I started getting the guilts again.

"Are you mad at me or somethin'?" She asked.

I stopped thumbing the fletching on the bolt I was holding and put it down alongside my Stryker.

"I ain't mad at ya." I explained. "I'm a lil' mad at myself if anythin'."

"Why?"

"You know." I gave my shoulders a shrug, not wanting to get in to the discussion. She waited for more.

"Your sister said somethin', I been thinkin' on it."

"Thinkin' what?"

"That maybe I had taken advantage of you, bein' a vulnerable girl. Maybe you was thinkin' you owed me somethin', that's why you were always all o'er me."

She was shaking her head, and looked somewhat amused at what I had said.

"Daryl Dixon, I know perfectly well that I don't owe you anythin' I did what I did with you 'cause I wanted to and for no other reason."

I tried to shrug away the discomfort I was feeling. I still found it hard to believe that a young girl like Beth could have a true interest in someone like me. I don't think anyone else, including her sister, would believe that she did either.

"Don't know that your sister would be believin' that." I said nodding over to Maggie.

"You don't worry 'bout my sister, I'll deal with her when the time is right."

When would the time be right? Maybe in another few years when she wasn't still a teenager, if either of us were able to make it that far.

I snapped the bolt I was fiddling with into the quiver and then swung my Stryker over my shoulder and stood up, ready to run from the uncomfortable conversation.

"Would be nice for us to have some alone time again." Beth said as she pushed herself to a stand beside me.

I looked around at our group that had exploded over the past week from two to six.

"Bit hard to be alone with people 'ere." I pointed out.

"You goin' huntin'?'" She asked motioning to my bow.

"Yeh" I replied, wondering why she was asking such a dumb question.

"Think I could come? Get some more training in?"

I actually wanted to be alone. I wanted to think about what was going on with us. But the way she was looking at me made me think she wouldn't take no for an answer, and she did need to get some more training.

* * *

As soon as we had got far enough into the woods so that we couldn't be seen by the others, she grabbed me by my shirt and dragged me in for a kiss. I tried not to respond at first, telling myself how wrong it was, but the taste of her and the feel of her against my body made me give in.

It was a hard and messy kiss, filled with all the tension that had built up since that night I had heard her talking with Anton. She was pushing herself into me, grinding up against my thigh and rubbing her hands through my hair. When I felt me dick start to move I dragged the bow in between us and pushed it back on to her.

"Thought you wanted to train?"

She pouted a little, and then took the bow tucking the stock into her arm and holding the grip. She turned around to the woodland behind us and raised the bow peeking through the sight.

"What's for breakfast anyway?" She asked.

I searched around on the leave covered ground and through the thicket of trees and bush for a trail.

Up in the oaks I could see what looked like a nest in one of the cavities of the bole of the tree. Squirrels were fast movers and small targets, but the only thing large and slow around here was walkers, and we couldn't eat them.

"There'll be squirrel 'round 'ere somewhere." I told her, pointing to the trees.

Beth rested the Stryker on the ground and pulled out a dart from the quiver, she tried nocking it on the bow string and I chuckled at her.

"Wha'?" she whined.

"Didn't I show you this before?"

"You _showed_ me, but I didn't do it myself. I don't remember."

I stepped in behind her and bent over to take the bow. I placed my foot in the stirrup, and took her hands to the string, wrapping my own thick, rough fingers around her tiny, soft ones and drew back the bowstring, and latched it into place.

"Now you put the bolt here." I showed her where to place it.

She took the bow back off me and nocked the bolt and then put the stock back to her shoulder, turning her face in to look through the sight.

I tilted her head away a bit and pushed the stock down.

"You gotta be careful of the kickback, don't want no more black eyes." I advised her.

The bruising on her face around her eye was almost gone now, faded among her pale skin into a moss-green tinge. She would be pissed to have another one so soon.

My cheek covered in course hair, was pressed up against hers silky soft one, guiding her face into position. She turned her face sharply and gave me a quick, smacking peck.

"Concentrate." I growled gently.

"I can't concentrate with you pushing up on me like that." She replied.

I put my finger to my lips telling her to hush and then took a step back from her. I had spotted the Grey halfway up the tree cleaning its face with its paws. I took my finger from my lips and pointed it up to the branch. She followed it up and then raised the Stryker ready to fire.

She pulled the trigger and let fly at the squirrel missing it by a couple of inches. The bolt flew past the tree and into the low brush beyond. The squirrel darted away out of sight.

We both went into the brush and began searching around for the bolt, kicking around leaves and sticks and dirt and crawling under bushes. We couldn't see it anywhere.

Rather than waste more bolts which were shit fuck to come by and fucking shit to make, I decided to confiscate the bow, and let her do some tracking. She led the way, and I kept my eye out for animal traps in the leaves.

We came across the trail of a deer. Beth was the one who spotted it, picking up on the fresh droppings and then finding a spot of grass amongst the leaves, that had been recently munched on. I hadn't seen a deer in months and it would have been a nice change from what we had been eating, but a deer could only be taken down with a well-placed bolt, and I was glad I was the one carrying the crossbow.

I followed Beth along the trail watching her hips sway from side to side in a hypnotising motion. I was sure she was walking that way deliberately. A few times she stopped suddenly, making me walk into her and she would push her ass back into me. It was annoying, and maybe just a little bit of a turn on.

It was pretty nice out here alone together again, seeing her happy and hopeful, and flirting with me again. It made me dare think about us having some kind of happiness together, maybe at this Terminus place. Once we had got up the courage to talk to Maggie about it.

What she said before about really wanting me, might have been true. She had Maggie here now, and all the others to keep her safe. She was probably almost right to take care of herself by now. But she was still here with me shaking her ass at me and driving me crazy.

If she kept it up, I was going to have to forget about that deer and do something to her that her sister wouldn't approve of.

"You best stop wigglin' that ass at me girl, 'fore I throw you up against that there tree and have my way with you." I growled at her playfully.

She looked to the oak I had nodded my head at and began walking over to it, giving her hips wide and exaggerated swings. She braced her hands against it, took a wide stance and pushed her ass out towards me, and glanced back over her shoulder with an inviting look in her eyes.

"You mean this tree?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I read an interview where Norman said Daryl wasn’t the type to throw a girl up against a tree in the moonlight. Well its daylight now.
> 
> * I don't see episodes til 12 hours after everyone else, so please no spoilers on the finale.


	11. Déjà vu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth has been here before, and shes seen that before too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't let the sex here get you too excited...

I didn't think he was going to go for the idea at first. The way he was standing back there staring at me, tapping his fingers on one hand against the grip of his bow, and stroking the hair on his chin with the other. He looked past me in to the trees like he was going to tell me to keep on tracking, but then he started stalking towards me like a man on a mission his crossbow down by his side skimming across the fallen leaves.

He reached a hand around me and grabbed hold of my ribs, just below my breast and pulled me hard back against his firm chest. I could feel him growing hard in his jeans and pressing into my backside. He dropped his bow to the side so it nested among the leaves, and moved his other hand over my waist to my front and then up under my tee and firmly palmed my abdomen.

"Yer a dirty lil' girl wan'in' to do it out 'ere, in the wild, like animals." He breathed into my ear. The tingle caused by his warm breath against my neck made my back arch and push my shoulders back against him.

"Yes, Mr Dixon." I agreed.

His hand was now moving from my ribs upward over my bra so he could cup my breast firmly, spreading his fingers out and around my covered nipple.

"If I'm gonna give ya what ya want, ya gotta behave yerself, Miss Greene."

His other hand was skimming around the band of my jeans his fingers prying downwards, past the binds of my belt and pressing between the denim and my tingling skin.

"How do you want me to do that?"

His lips were brushing against my neck gently as he spoke, and I arched my neck to the side encouraging him to kiss me there.

"Ya need t' keep yerself real quiet, we don't want no unwanted attention out 'ere."

He dragged his hand from my breast downwards to my belt and loosening it so that he could push in to my jeans and get better access to between my legs.

"You want me to stay...oh!"

I gasped as he skimmed his fingers against the top of me over the soft and nerve filled tissue where my legs began to part.

"Yeah. Real quiet, think you can manage?"

He moved a finger downward sliding it in between my lips, and gently circling around my opening. I felt my legs start to buckle below me, and he gripped me tight, so I couldn't slump, holding me against him with his strong, muscled arms.

"Oh!" I gasped again.

"Shhhh." He urged.

He bit lightly on my ear and I chewed down on my lower lip, trying to stifle a moan.

"I don't know." I gasped, answering his earlier question.

"We'll do a bit of practice first."

He forced his hand deeper into my jeans, pushing a finger roughly inside me, and stroking the front of me with his thumb.

"Oh, ohhh." I moaned a little quieter.

"If you can't keep quiet I'll have to stop."

"No don't stop." I said urgently.

I gripped my hands onto the tree, my nails digging into the cracks in the bark. I was determined to do as he told me, but it was going to be one of the hardest things he had ever asked me to do.

"Then shhh." He ordered.

He bit my ear again, and ran his tongue over my lobe. And I bit my own tongue trying to stifle another moan.

While his hand worked its magic he used his other hand to pop the button on my jeans, and slide the zip down allowing him to get his hand deeper.

A moan almost escaped again, but I put my face against my hand that was gripping onto the tree and bit down on my knuckles.

"Good girl."

He slipped his finger out only to replace it immediately with two and I let out a sharp groan as I felt my body stretch to accommodate. His thumb continued to massage over my front, while he moved his fingers inside me shallow and deep and shallow again, pressing towards my naval from the inside, maneuvering and manipulating and driving me into another world.

My face was throbbing with heat, and my knuckles were stinging from the firm bite I was giving them. I felt my body start convulsing, the nerve ends firing off into the palm of his hand, over and over again. I was moaning now, trying my hardest to keep control of the volume, but mostly failing. The sound didn't seem to bother him this time, as he just kept on rubbing and massaging and moving his fingers around inside me, and making me moan even more.

When the first wave of orgasms were over, he dragged his hand out and back over my hip leaving a wet trail behind that felt cool in the open air.

"Now do you want me in you?" He breathed into my ear again.

"uhuh." I uttered.

" 'member, keep quiet."

I nodded my head in agreement, even though I knew I couldn't do it.

He used both hands to pull my jeans down over my hips, and down to below my knees.

I heard the clink of his belt and the zip of his fly and then a shuffle of clothing before he grabbed me around the waist again, placing his fingers over my abdomen pointing towards my naval, and pulling me firmly towards him. He placed his other hand on my back and tilted my hips forward to allow him better access.

I let out another moan as I felt him push inside my wet and throbbing opening.

"Fuck you feel so good." He groaned, as the full length of him slid in to me.

I tried to respond but all that came out was another moan.

He was moving behind me now driving his hips upwards, pulling himself in and out of me, pounding his hips against my bare backside with a wet sounding slap.

I had my eyes closed and was moaning into my hands clenched together against the tree, trying my hardest to control myself.

He started to slow a little and I wondered if he had finished already, then I felt him moving off to the side, bending down as if to reach something. I opened my eyes and stared at the bark, wondering what he was up to.

Then I heard a familiar clunk, whistle thud, and I knew Daryl had shot a bolt.

* * *

I turned my head sharply to see what he had shot at.

It had been a walker, all ragged looking, dressed in tatters, rotten and bloody - shredded skin and muscle dangling off its lost and pleading face. It collapsed to its knees on the ground, and fell face first in to the leaves.

Daryl dropped his bow by his side and continued to thrust into me.

I was seriously grossed out, all desire suddenly fleeing my body. I tore myself away from him, pulling up my pants awkwardly then I turned to look at him with my face screwed up in disgust.

"What?" He said staring at me with an open mouth, his pants still around his thighs, and his shaft still erect and glistening wet.

"That's disgusting!"

"What? that?" He asked pointing at the body of the rotten, stinking corpse only a few yards from where we were standing.

"That you just kept goin' like it was nothin'." I shrilled.

He reached down and started pulling up his pants tucking himself into his jeans and doing up his fly, and belt.

"It was nothin'. It's a walker there's nothin' there." He pointed at his own head, and looped his finger around in the air.

"But you just shot at it, in the middle of – what we were doin' and then just went on about your business."

"I don't care about some dumbass walker, I kill them every fuckin' day. I kill several every fuckin' day. I've killed more walkers than I've had hot meals."

"And you can just kill them like that, watch the arrow go through their skull, watch all the blood and pus ooze out of them and then just go on screwin' me?"

"I don't even think about it, I just do it. My mind was on nothin' but you then, it was just a reaction."

"How can you do that? How can you just go from killin' to lovin'?"

"Well I have a lot more experience with one than I do with the other." He said gruffly, throwing his hands in to the air.

"Oh yeah? And which one gives you the most thrill, Daryl?" I said with a cold glare.

Daryl started shaking his head.

"Don't be like that. You know its nothin' like that."

"You know somethin' must be seriously wrong with you to still be turned on after doing that." I pointed my finger out at the dead walker.

"I'm sorry that I know how to tell the difference between the livin' and the dead." He spat back angrily.

"It's not about that." I retorted

"I'm sorry I ain't good 'nuff for you." He threw up his hand angrily and started prowling back and forth, his face contorted in anger. "Sorry that I ain't some pretty boy. Sorry I never went to no college or had no respectable job. Sorry I never joined no mothafuckin' church choir!"

I knew that he was referring to Anton now, and I knew he had been listening to our conversation that night. I wondered how long he had been comparing himself to Anton, and how much he was realising he wasn't like him.

He was fuming now, his face turning bright red, his muscles rippling in rage.

"Jeez Daryl, you don't need none of those things to have a bit of humanity." I tried to reason with him, but there was no soothing the savage beast.

"I ain't no Prince Charmin, and you're a damn fool if you ever thought I was." He pointed angrily in to my face.

"I don't expect no prince charmin', I just want you to act like a normal human being." I pleaded.

"So you want me to be somethin' I ain't then?"

"I just want you to put a little more effort in, you know, try to make it work for us." I moved my fingers back and forth between us.

He made a wide sweep of the woods with his arm.

"Look 'round Beth, we're sneakin' off into the bushes tryna hide from yer sister. It ain't workin'.'"

I folded my arms protectively over my chest.

"So what you sayin'? You wanna cool it?"

Daryl gave a deep nod.

"Probably best that we do."

"What we have isn't goin' nowhere? It's not worth nothin'?"

"We knew it was never goin' nowhere" He replied, a little calmer now. His tone and facial expression made my insides twist with a sense of loss.

" _We_ knew? Or _you_ knew ? What was I? Just somethin' to keep you busy? Somethin' to pass the time." I was getting angrier, the calmer he was getting.

Daryl shrugged his shoulders in response.

"Well how stupid am I thinking some dumbass, degenerate, redneck was capable of anythin' other than huntin' and killin'." I spat back at him angrily.

I wish I could pluck those words out of the air and shove them back in my mouth.

His body was rigid with tension, face red with fury. I tried to soften my voice a little, to help calm his savage intensity.

"Did you ever feel anythin' for me?" I probed gently.

His lips were pressed together, nose flaring, eyes shooting daggers.

"I only fucked you 'cause I was drunk, an' every time after cause you was guiltin' me." He retorted.

His words hit me deep in the gut and knocked all the wind clean out of me. I sucked in a deep breath of cool air, in an attempt to regain my composure.

I knew it was a lie, I knew he was just trying to hurt me with words, the same way I had hurt him. But the feeling of rage building inside of me was in need of urgent and explosive release.

His flinch as a pulled my elbow back made me all too aware that he was completely capable of stopping me, but I wound my hand back and slapped him hard over his face, and he didn't even try.

I knew I had hurt him by the way my hand was stinging and throbbing all at once, and by the redness that was rushing to the surface of his skin. When he turned his face back toward me, there was a light spatter of blood on his lip.

His shoulders suddenly heaved, and I had thought he was going to hit me back, but the look in his eye told me I was safe. It was a haunting, soul destroying look of loss.

"Sorry." He said sincerely.

He had said he was sorry, but it was me who was sorry. I was supposed to be teaching him how to love and I had gone and hit him, just like his no good dad. But despite his miserable eyes that sent guilt throughout my body, I was still hurt by his words. So instead of embracing him as would have been the smart thing to do, I turned around and stormed off back to camp, cradling my swelling hand.

* * *

When I emerged from the trees the others all turned to look at me. I stopped and pushed my hand behind my back so no one could see the redness.

"Where's Daryl?" Asked Maggie curiously.

"He sent me back." I lied "Said I was making too much noise and scarin' everythin' away."

Maggie nodded her head in acceptance, but I could tell she didn't believe me.

"Damn I was hoping you was bringin' somethin' back, I'm starvin'." Bob said while he rubbed his stomach.

"You'll just have to have nuts for now." I suggested wondering if any Pecans were left.

I walked over to my bag and sat down in the dirt and stared at my knees. I tried my best to look like nothing was bothering me, but I knew I was pouting. Bob and Sasha seemed oblivious, flirting with each other. But both Maggie and Anton stared at me with questioning eyes.

* * *

We waited there for hours for Daryl to come back - all of the day. Maggie and Sasha started setting up a fire again as dusk came upon us. I continued to sit in the dirt staring at the rocks of the rail line, and focused all my energy on not crying, or yelling, or running off to find out where the hell he was.

We all moved around the fire when it was ready and tried to share stories to distract us from our apprehension over Daryl. Whenever the wind moved through the leaves we would all snap our heads around hoping it was Daryl returning, but it was never him.

Maggie had been eying me suspiciously all day, and she finally spoke up.

"Did you guys have an argument?"

"No." I snapped back a little too quickly.

"Why isn't he back yet?"

"I dunno." I replied, but I had a pretty good idea.

I had hurt him bad. I had sad really horrible things to him, and I had hit him. I had undone all the work all of us had done with him, trying to make him feel loved and welcome and one of us, in just a single moment.

"Do you think somethin' could have happened?" Asked Bob.

"No." I replied forcefully.

"No, not Daryl." Agreed Maggie. "He's the best hunter and fighter I've ever known. Must have decided to follow somethin' special."

She looked to me.

"Are you sure nothin' happened with you two out there?" She asked me again.

"No." I replied drawing my knees in tighter and trying to ignore the throbbing in my hand.

"You sure he didn't try anythin'? Do anythin' to scare you."

"Nooo!" I asserted angrily. I pushed myself to my feet turned away from everyone's confused gaze and started climbing up the embankment away from the train line.

"Where you goin'?" Maggie cried out after me.

"To have a piss!" I shrilled back.

* * *

I walked through the trees, far enough to be away from everyone's eyes and ears, but close enough to still see the light of the fire in the distance. I didn't have a torch or a flashlight and I didn't want to get lost out there in the dark.

I fell to my knees and started sobbing into the ground, wishing I could go back in time and change what had happened, take back the horrible things I said, or at least accept his apology. But it was too late now. Daryl was gone and maybe not coming back.

A twig snapping made me lift my head, to see a dark shadow moving through the trees. It was only Anton.

I rubbed my tears away with the sleeve of my sweater and stood up before him.

"You okay?" He asked.

"I'm alright." I lied.

He moved closer to me.

"You guys had a fight hey?"

I nodded my head, scared that if I spoke I would start sobbing again.

"Is he coming back?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Do you _want_ him to come back?"

I nodded.

"Of course I do." I murmured.

"Do you think _he_ wants to come back?"

I shrugged again.

"Probably not. I said some pretty nasty things."

Anton moved in beside me and rested his arm on my shoulder.

"If he cares about you, a few nasty words won't keep him away." He advised.

"I dunno, they were pretty nasty." I insisted.

"Well I know men. And we don't let things like angry words from a woman's mouth get to us."

"Well it must have gotten to him, 'cause he ain't here."

"He ain't here, 'cause he don't want to be here." Anton assured me.

I tried to stifle a sob, knowing what he said was true.

Anton gently pulled me in to his chest and began stroking my hair.

"Guys like that, they don't make good partners." He continued. "They're the kind that like one woman a night, not one woman for life."

I didn't think that was Daryl. I had never seen him show any interest in anyone the whole time I had known him, but maybe before, when he had more choice, he could have been like that.

Anton pulled away from me and looked down on my face. He put his hand to my cheek and wiped away a tear with his thumb.

"You and him are from different worlds. He's withdrawn – you're chatty. You're up- he's down. You're light - he's dark."

Anton placed his fingers under my chin and turned my face up to look at his.

"What you need is a man, who can really be with you. Be happy with you, laugh with you...sing with you." He gave a chuckle.

I could see where he was going with this and I wanted to turn away from him, but something held me riveted to the spot.

His dark eyes were gazing down on me, the whites gleaming in the moonlight. He licked his broad lips.

"You should be with someone like me."

I wanted to say no, I wanted to push him away, but then he was there - pushing his lips against mine. They were everything that Daryl's weren't. Wide, soft and smooth, where Daryl's were drawn, dry and rough. But I didn't like Anton's lips. I didn't like them one bit. I just wanted Daryl's lips against my mine and his arms to hold me.

I pushed Anton away gently, and he looked down on me with curiosity in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Anton, but I love Daryl." My heart skipped a beat as the word 'love' slipped out my mouth.

"Love?" He queried.

I nodded.

"Think so."

I heard a shifting of leaves behind me and turned towards the sound. There was a dark figure off in the distance moving through the brush, I couldn't make out exactly who or what it was, until it made its way out of the brush and the moonlight caught dirty white angel wings on black.

* * *

"He's not coming back." I finally admitted more to myself than to the others.

Daylight had come and we were still sitting around the blackened fire pit. The remains of squirrel bones among the ashes. I had found five squirrels threaded through the neck on to a stick on the embankment of the rails near where I had walked off. Daryl had obviously left them there after he had spotted Anton kissing me.

The others all knew Daryl had left them, they knew neither myself or Anton were capable of catching five squirrels in such a short time in the day, never mind at night. But they never queried it.

"We can't really wait around for him anymore - we need to get to Terminus. I need to see if any of the others are there. To see if Glenn's there." Maggie explained as she stood up and started packing up her things. The others followed suit, hauling their bags on to their backs.

"I know you really want to see Glenn, but we can't just leave Daryl behind." I argued.

"He knows where we're headin'. If he wants to find us he will."

 _If_ he wanted to. That's what I was afraid of.

"And I know that none of us want to think it, none of us would ever have believed it of Daryl, but maybe it is possible that…" She trailed off.

"That what?"

"He was out on his own, in the dark. He could have been taken down."

I shook my head not wanting to believe it, not that I ever could anyway. I still firmly believed Daryl would be the last one standing. If Daryl was gone, he was gone by choice.

"I know you don't want to think it Bethie, none of us do, but why else would he just leave us like that?"

Because I was horrible to him, because I hit him, and then I let another guy kiss me and he saw it.

"If you guys aren't gonna help me look for him, then I'll go on my own." I declared, reaching down to grab my bag, and checking that the knife I had gotten from Len's group was still in there.

"You can't go on your own Beth." Maggie insisted, stepping closer to me so she could physically restrain me if needed.

"Watch me." I challenged.

Maggie reached out and grabbed my wrist.

"Please Beth, you know you can't wander around out there on your own, and we can't waste time back tracking."

" _You_ don't have to." I insisted again and pulled away from her grip.

"Damn you Beth!" She called after me. "I'm not chasin' you down!" she called louder as I walked away.

"I can take care of myself!" I called back over my shoulder.

I heard her growl and then I heard rocks crunching as four sets of feet walked away down the train line.

* * *

I went into the woods at the point he had left the squirrels. I hadn't had all that much practice with tracking a man, but I figured it would be similar to tracking a walker. I could already spot the prints left from his boots through the leaves. It looked as if he had kicked the ground a few times. If he kept that up, it should be no trouble following him.

The thought of being alone was somewhat scary, but I had spent enough time with Daryl to know basic survival skills. I had my knife, and I also knew that lone travellers attracted less attention from the walkers, and I would be able to handle one or two on my own, any more I could run from.

At this point in time, there was no thought that scared me more than the thought of never seeing Daryl again.

"You think it's smart running off on your own like that?"

The initial sound of the voice made me jump, but the familiarity of it was comforting. I turned around to see Anton standing behind me, arms crossed and head shaking in false disapproval.

"What were you gonna do out here when a herd of walkers came at you?"

"Run." I replied curtly.

"I told your sister I would come after you."

He had certainly earned Maggie's respect if she had entrusted him with that task.

"I'm not coming with you Anton." I said firmly. Crossing my arms over my body and planting my feet firmly on the ground in protest.

"I know. _I'm_ coming with _you_." He walked towards me and past me leading the way forward into the trees.

* * *

I wasn't too sure on having Anton there at first, given what Daryl had seen, but I was glad of the company and he always did a good job of cheering me up. I would just have to find Daryl and explain to him that it didn't mean anything, and that I wanted to be with him. And Anton would be there to back me up.

Daryl's trail was surprisingly easy to follow. He had kicked into the ground half a dozen times, and kicked at trees leaving his big muddy boot prints on the bark. Daryl had even managed to leave behind a trail of walker bodies. Rounded holes left in their heads from bolts, and others with deep slits where he had used his knife. Some of them were covered in fresh blood and gore and I wondered if Daryl had done that or if they had already been that way. I later guessed Daryl had done it when I started noticing a fair amount of gore mixed in with his footprint.

Anton kept on telling me his life story. He told me about his time in college and then in the Navy. He told me about how he had been discharged for medical reasons, because he didn't cope too well with his dad's death. I thought that he had told Daryl that he had finished his training and that was why he went home. But Maybe I got it wrong.

Then he told me about how when he got back to his momma's house she had been barricaded in with his brother and sister in law and his little niece. He told me about how they had all got sick and turned and how hard it had been to put his little niece down. I thought he had told Daryl that he never made it back to his momma's house. But maybe that was a painful memory he didn't want to share with us at the time.

Then he told me about coming across the groups of raiders that tried to take his property and how he had to kill them all. I knew for a fact he had told Daryl that he had never killed a person before Len's man. But maybe he thought if Daryl knew the truth he wouldn't let him come with us.

Then he told me about the mother and child he came across while searching through homes with Len's group...

"When we found that lady, Claire, livin' out in that house alone with her lil' boy. I thought we might be able to look after them, keep them protected. But Joe dropped a claim on her, and then Dan dropped a claim on the kid. I had to stand back while the guys dragged them home and did all kinds of awful shit to them."

"Claire?" I asked wondering how well he had known this lady he was talking about.

"Yeah, the woman back at the warehouse." He replied.

I started to slow my steps, as his words spiralled through my head.

"She told you her name?"

"Yeah, I tried to make friends with her. Her and the boy – what was his name? Archie? Arthur?"

I had stopped walking now and I could feel my jaw hanging low, my mouth wide open.

"He didn't last too long. The little'uns never do." He stopped walking and turned back to me, with a wicked grin growing on his face. He slapped his hand on his forehead in an exaggerated manner, as if he had forgotten something.

"I wasn't supposed to know about all that was I?"

* * *

_Run Beth!_

I was frozen to the spot, couldn't talk, couldn't breathe. He knew her! He knew the lady on the table and he did nothing to help her, maybe he even helped do that to her. And on that other table there had been a little boy, and he knew about him too.

He was now slowly prowling back towards me, his hand resting on the knife at his side.

"She was a screamer - just like you." He slipped the knife out and began rubbing it along his thumb.

"Don't think she liked it as much as you did with your man though."

_Jeez Beth what's wrong with you? Move!_

_"_ But your man ain't here now is he?"

He snapped his hand out and down towards my wrists and my senses finally kicked in. I pushed his hand down and out of the way with a force that caused him to turn his shoulder to me. I drew back and slapped him hard with the same hand I had used to slap Daryl, but this time it was twice as hard and it left my hand completely numb and possibly broken.

Anton went sprawling to the ground and I dashed off to follow the trail Daryl had left behind. We were too far out for me to run back to Maggie now and I just hoped and prayed that Daryl was still around.

I could hear the leaves moving behind me and the thumping of feet. Anton was a lot quicker than me and his steps were getting closer. I began weaving in and out of the trees hoping to throw him off and make it more difficult for him to grab hold of me. I had completely lost Daryl's trail now and was just running in any old direction - for dear life.

My ankle was throbbing from all the running and sharp twists and turns, and it finally gave way beneath me, throwing me to the ground. Anton was immediately on me, grabbing me by the boots and dragging me in towards him.

I struggled to reach into my backpack trying desperately to get to my knife, but he ripped it off my back and threw it into the bushes.

"Daryl!" I screamed.

"He ain't here, remember?" Anton snarled.

He grabbed hold of my thighs and flipped me over and pinned me to the ground, his knees on my shins and his hands on my wrists.

"You're a monster." I screamed into his face. "A sick fucking monster!"

"That's what they all say." He was speaking calmly and quietly, like me struggling beneath him didn't faze him at all.

He pulled my wrist together and held them together in one hand. My hand still pulsated with pain.

"You got me a good one Missy, think it's gonna leave a mark."

He began rubbing his face where I had hit him.

He moved his hand towards my face and I squinted my eyes preparing for impact, but he gently stroked along my cheek instead of hitting me as I expected.

"I like leaving marks too." He informed me.

Holding my head down, he leant down and bit me on the top of my breasts underneath my collarbone. It was a hard stinging bite, through my shirt, but I was sure it drew blood. My heart skipped a beat when I realised it was him who did the bites on that girl.

I began screaming for Daryl again - For anyone.

Anton was now fumbling around with my belt with his free hand. I wriggled around trying to move my hips, shins and wrists - but he had me firmly pinned.

"You know it's a pity. I thought we could have had something real nice - Living over at Terminus, with your hot ass sister. And that Sasha – Damn she was fine."

He had my buckle undone now and was pulling my jeans down over my hips.

"They might feel sorry for me - after I show up there. I'll tell 'em how I couldn't find you. How you were lost out here- most likely eaten by walkers."

I started looking around at the woods surrounding me looking for something that might help me -a rock, or a stick. If I could just get one hand free, and grab hold of something, I could hit him hard enough to get him off me.

With his hands gripping firmly around my wrists, I wasn't going to get my hands free, but I did spot something familiar.

I had walked through the woods with Daryl long enough to know those tracks, and they looked to be very recent.

"Daryl." I screamed again, hoping I could be heard.

"Nobody gonna come for you but walkers missy." He sneered.

Anton had pulled my pants down to my thighs. I could feel the cold dirt and leaves pressed up against my behind.

I glanced over to the movement behind Anton.

I could see them now stepping out from the bush- The filthy clothes and boots smeared with gore.

Anton was trying to flip me over now on to stomach, and I braced myself getting ready to flee as soon as the time was right.

* * *

The walker threw himself at Anton and went straight for the neck. Anton pulled his hand up releasing my wrists and pushed the walker away, using his forearm, just before it could bite. I felt heavy now with both Anton and the walker on top of me, but with Anton preoccupied with the walker I could wriggle and roll free.

More were appearing now shuffling out from the bushes, attracted to Anton's grunts and groans as he held of the walker. He reached into his holster and pulled out his gun and shot the walker in the head, spraying rotten brain out in to the air behind him.

I pulled myself to my feet, watching as three more walkers fell on top of Anton. He was pushing them back with his feet and hands. Their teeth were gnashing into the open air hungrily. I turned and ran, pulling up my pants along the way.

As I dashed through the wood, dodging bushes and low hanging branches, I heard a gunshot, then another. Two gunshots for three walkers - Had the last one got him? I wasn't going to stop to find out so I just kept running until I noticed the trees thinning up ahead. I dashed though the last of the trees and found myself out on an open road.

I had got so turned around in the woods that I didn't know which way to go. So I just picked any way and started running. I listened out for Anton's cries that could still be heard in the distance. I could also hear another sound, a hollow sound almost like waves crashing on a shore. It was a familiar sound, but one you didn't hear too often these days.

I turned to see where it was coming from, and got a strange feeling of déjà vu.

Coming along the road, driving towards me was a car. There was something about it that I recognised. It wasn't the same one as the last I had seen. That one had burnt down in the warehouse. But there was something familiar about it. I stared into the glass trying to see either the driver or passenger, but all I could see was shadows. Then I looked further into the car to the rear window.

There was a silhouette of a white cross.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you were wondering why I introduced this character of Anton who was ridiculously good looking...  
> 1\. It was because I didn’t know how I was going to get the both of them out of that warehouse predicament  
> 2\. Because I wanted to test Beth’s loyalty  
> 3\. because I believe that people are more easily fooled by attractive people. Daryl always had his guard up about the guy, but Beth and later Maggie and Sasha put their trust in him too easily. 
> 
> He was supposed to be the exact opposite of Daryl (except for the sexiness). So educated, with a respectable job, religious background, charming and charismatic. and deep down inside - a real asshole!


	12. Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl makes himself gone for the better of all involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took longer than planned. Life got in the way.  
> Just a short chapter tying the storyline together with the canon. Sorry no smut.

The bolt went straight through the motherfucker's eyeball with a satisfying pop. I stepped forward put my foot to the walkers chest and yanked the bolt out. I took that same bolt and forced it through the eyeball of another walker who tried coming up behind me. That one popped all over my hand, spraying cold, sludge between my fingers, but I didn't care.

_That's right Daryl, Kill. Hunt and Kill that's all you're good for._

I took a moment's break from killing walkers to reload my Stryker and then let rip into another one that was stumbling towards me, dragging its rotted feet through the dirt. The bolt went straight through its gaping mouth and the tip popped out the back of the rotting skull. I paced over to it reached my hand into its mouth and yanked the bolt back out.

_She hurt you bad Daryl. She hurt you 'cause it was true._

Another two were tumbling over each other trying to get to me. I took out my Busse and got one through the ear, and the other through the bottom of the jaw and up into the skull.

 _And what do you do if someone hurts you Daryl?_ _You hurt 'em back._

I heard the gasping behind me and turned sharply throwing my elbow into the walkers moaning face. The skin on its face popped like a busted balloon on impact but it was still chomping away at me with bare, muscles, tendons and bone exposed. I kicked it to the ground and used the stock of my crossbow to finish it off.

_But not her, she was better than that._

I put my foot to the stirrup and reloaded my Stryker again.

I had let Beth hit me for saying that dumb shit. That was the only good bit of advice Merle had ever given me about women. _If you deserve it, let 'em take a shot._ But then she had hated me. I was used to being hated. Being hated was easy. No-one expected nothing from you. But her hating me ate me up inside something fierce.

I had gone back to try to talk to Beth, to try to make things right. But then she was with him.

A walker fell out from behind the bushes almost catching my shoulder. I shrugged away from it's tired grasp and swung my Busse into the back of its skull.

The walker fell to the ground and I rolled it over to its back and slammed my knife down in its guts. Once, Twice, three times. I hated that fucker. I hated him with his hands and lips all over her. Not the motherfucking walker, Anton.

_But she pushed him away._

I left the walker and went back to my Stryker lying on the ground.

She _had_ pushed him away, and then she said what she said.

The only thing worse than being hated by her, was being loved by her. I knew how to show hate back, I didn't know how to show love. This girl was messing with my head like no-one ever had before.

Another walker stumbled through the bush towards me. It fell to the ground by my feet and I let a bolt go in to its forehead. I then removed the bolt from the walkers head using my foot against its face for resistance, crunching the rotting nose beneath my boot.

Anton knew how to love, that asshole was smoother than silk. He knew how to do a lot of things I didn't. He was fucking perfect for her. Before all this shit started with Beth, before I gave in to weakness. I told her that we would find a better place for her and a better person, and that was what we had found. I didn't really know what it felt like to be jealous, but I hated the fucker with every inch of my being, and that was probably what it felt like. I wasn't going to take away Beth's chance at happiness in this fucked up world just 'cause I was jealous and I had fooled her into loving me.

I don't know how many more walkers I killed. It was all a flurry of boots and bolts and steel and cold congealed blood and a shitload of gore. I had come through the trees now and found my feet tapping on gravel. I looked both ways down the empty road, trying to decide which way to go.

One way would probably take me to Terminus and back to Beth. Where I would have to let her go, let her be with Anton, or preferably some other guy from Terminus. And I would have to watch her, every day for the rest of my life, be happy without me. That would hurt like hell.

The other way was backward, back to what I had been before Beth, maybe to what I had been before the prison. Maybe to what I was before the world went to shit. That was a fucked up idea too. But I wasn't ready to see Beth or the others just yet. I needed time; so I walked away from Terminus. I would stay out here on my own, just until I could sort my head out.

* * *

After a few hours of walking along the road I spotted an abandoned truck. I wasn't even sure how long I had been walking. It was dark now, so it had been one full day, maybe two, since I had left the others – Everything had been murky since fighting with Beth. I suddenly realised how exhausted I was. I had no food or rest and had been living only on the adrenaline of walker killing. The truck would be a decent place to stop for the night. I would be safe from walkers at the least.

As I approached the truck, I caught voices talking low. Two voices; I could probably take them out if there was any trouble. I snuck up to the side of the truck and peered in the passenger window, trying to get a glimpse through the front windshield. My eyes were caught by an object lying down on the seat of the car. It was a familiar round brown object with shiny loop around the middle. A deputy sheriff's hat, and it was sitting on top of Carl's chest.

I stepped away from the truck and looked over to where the voices were coming from. It was Michonne and Rick, and there was someone crawling up beside them. And I knew who that was too.

"Joe!" I called out just as Joe pressed the muzzle of the gun to Rick's temple.

Tony was over by Michonne pointing his gun at her head too. I went to swing my Stryker up into my arms, but a rifle knocked it down. Harley pointed the rifle to my head and I let the bow fall to the ground. I noticed Len's bow was amongst the gear at Harley's feet. So they had got to the warehouse and seen what happened. They must have been following me that whole way.

"You screwed up, asshole. You hear me? You screwed up.." Joe said to Rick.

"Just hold up Joe. They had nothin' to do with what happened back there." I called out.

Michonne and Rick were staring at me with disbelief on their faces. Joe looked up at me with an ugly-ass, sly grin on his face.

"Well look at who we have here. If it's not my old pal, Daryl." His crew shifted around trying to get a look at my face and then started sniggering.

"Back there?" Joe said tilting his head backward. "Oh, you mean back at the warehouse? when we lost all our shit?"

I was aware of Billy creeping up behind me now, getting into position to take me out. Joe continued talking holding the gun to Rick's head.

"I thought that may have been an accident, but then we found Len crawling outside, half charred and all freaked out. He was all tangled up in his bow with his guts all trailing out behind him. I knew someone had done that to him. Thought it might have been Anton, thought they might have been fightin' over that blonde bitch they found. Anton liked the blonde ones."

That blonde bitch? Did he mean Beth?

"Anton?" I blurted in disbelief.

"He usually was the first to claim 'em but he missed out on that one." Joe explained.

"We talkin' 'bout the same Anton here?"

"Tall, black man – Looks like he belongs on the cover of People?"

That was him.

I felt my hands start to tremble by my sides. Anton liked the girls. I knew the fucker was creepy. I knew I should have trusted my instincts and fucked him off as soon as I got the chance. I could see that woman tied to the table now in my mind, her body bruised and battered. Anton had tried saying he took no part in it, I should have known he had lied, and now I had left him with Beth.

"Then we saw Jess stumbling about with a crossbow bolt sticking out of his neck." Joe continued. He was studying my face watching my reactions. "Did you want a piece and they wouldn't share?"

I glared back at him angrily.

"No. You knew the bitch hey? Thought you might of. So you took the girl, killed my men and burnt my shit down."

I was in a world of shit, but Beth might still be okay. She had Maggie and Sasha and Bob – they would keep her safe. I had to think of Rick and Michonne now. They couldn't pay for what I had done, or what I didn't do.

"Okay, but you can let 'em go – I don't know 'em, I was jus' passin' by." I said nodding towards Rick and Michonne.

With any luck Carl would stay hidden until these fuckers were gone.

"You think we were followin' you?" He chuckled and his crew followed with sniggers. "Nah. You see this piece of faecal matter killed one of my best men...Strangled him while goin' to the bathroom. We've been trying to track him down since before you burned our shit to the ground. You bein' here – my friend – is just a happy coincidence."

Harley and Billy both sniggered beside me, and Joe continued with his taunts.

"Today is a day of reckoning, sir. Restitution. A balancing of the whole damn universe. Everythin' and everyone is fallin' right into my cosy little lap."

"You want blood, I get it. Take it from me, man. Come on." I beckoned him with a wave of my hand.

Joe pushed the gun forcefully against Rick's head again.

"We will. We will. But this man killed our friend."

He gave a closed lipped smile to Rick and then sneered up at me.

"I'm not sure whose gonna have it the best. We'll fuck the girl." He nodded over to the scowling Michonne. "We'll shoot him." He tapped the muzzle of his gun against Rick's face, and rick's eyes glared out towards me. "but you...we're gonna beat you to death, Daryl."

I caught Harley's rifle stock in the cheek, knocking my head down. I stumbled forward trying to catch my balance and then found Billy grabbing me around the waist and pushing me to the truck. I was catching fists from both Harley and Billy, pummelling me in my face and kidneys. They pressed my face up against the driver's side window and I saw Carl staring at me in horror. Joes other guy, Dan, had opened the passenger door, grabbed hold of him and started pulling him out of the car.

Billy knocked me to the ground and I tried to defend myself against the onslaught of boots and fists. Prolonging the inevitable.

"Well looky here fellas, we got a boy to fuck too." I heard Joe call out crudely.

A boy to...Not Carl! That couldn't happen to Carl.

These guys were the worst kind of freak-shows in this shit hole world. I didn't know what to do. I was getting the shit beat out of me and Rick and Michonne both had guns to their heads. If I went for my knife they would be killed, and Carl would have no chance.

Then I heard a gunshot and I was sure Rick was a goner. I heard a struggle and then another gun shot – that must have been Michonne. At least she had been spared the raping, but I could still hear Carl struggling. Could I make a move without getting Carl hurt?

Harley and Billy lifted me and threw me up against the car again and I saw that both Michonne and Rick were still alive, and Rick was still standing there, in front of Joe. Joe stumbled backwards away from Rick, and I saw blood spurting out of a gaping hole in his throat. Rick spat a chunk of flesh and blood to the ground and I knew what he had done.

Michonne took the moment of confusion and used it to grab Tony's gun and turned it into his neck and fired. Harley and Billy were busy staring at the action when I wound up my fist and slammed it in to Billy's face. Michonne took Harley out for me with the gun and I threw Billy's face in to the ground and started smashing the back of his head with my boot until he was limp and lifeless.

Rick took care of Dan plunging his knife into him, and dragging the blade upwards through his chest and gutting him like a fish. Dan's body fell to the ground and Rick climbed on top of him and started slamming the knife into his body. It reminded me of what I had done to Len. But this time no-one was going to stop him.

* * *

The next day when the sun rose on the situation Rick was pretty shook up about it all. He had spent the whole night sitting against the truck, staring into the woods, looking like he was struggling with his own humanity. I had spent the night destroying the brains of Joe and all of his followers, removing all their gear and dragging them away from the truck so Carl didn't have to look at them.

When I was done I went over to try to offer Rick some support. I opened up a bottle of water and poured it onto my red rag, and handed it to him.

"We should save it to drink." Rick protested.

"You can't see yourself, he can." I nodded towards the cab of the truck where Michonne and Carl had been sleeping. Rick was a mess. He looked like he had...well he looked like he had just torn a man's throat out with his own teeth.

He took the rag to his face and started rubbing the blood away, and I sat down beside him resting against the truck.

"I didn't know what they were." I said, turning to look at Rick as he washed his face.

"Where'd you meet those guys?"

"I was with Beth, we got out together. We were together for a while." I paused for a second thinking about the time we had spent together and how important that time had been, but now it was gone. "I lost her while we were out there, and came across Joe when I was tryna find her. His group was pretty ragged, but Joe seemed like a fair man. Thought I could stay with 'em 'til I picked up on Beth's trail. Then this ass-hole started droppin' hints that he knew where she was and it turns out they had Beth all along. So I got Beth away and set fire to their all shit." I scoffed at the thought of it. "Weren't enough though."

I didn't tell him about what they planned to do to Beth. I didn't want him knowing what could have happened to Michonne and Carl. His imagination wouldn't need any help.

"Where's Beth now?" He asked.

"I left her...back with Maggie, Bob and Sasha." I couldn't bring myself to say Anton's name. "They're headin' towards Terminus, s'posed to be safe there."

A glimmer of hope could be seen in Rick's eyes, when I spoke the names of our family.

"They're alive?"

I nodded, and a small smile flickered on Ricks' face.

"That's where we're goin'." Rick spoke it to me, like the we included me. My face fell a little and his face fell with mine. I was thinking of whether I deserved a place in that family. But he was most likely thinking of finding another Woodbury, by the way he got that haunted look in his eyes again. Hope was a hard thing to hold on to after what he had just been through.

When I first met those guys I had said I would kill every last one of them if I found they had anything to do with taking Beth. They had, and instead of killing them I ran. If I had have just killed them none of this would have ever happened. Rick wouldn't be struggling with his humanity. Carl wouldn't be getting rocked in Michonne's arms with them both coming to terms with near being raped.

"I should have killed them when I had the chance, I knew they were bad. Didn't think they could hurt someone like Carl though." I said regrettably.

"It's not on you, Daryl."Rick said, looking in to my eyes. I dropped my face down still feeling like I could have stopped it all.  
"Hey...It's not on you."

I looked back up at him.  
"You being back with us here, now, that's everything...You're my brother.."

A shudder went thorough my body as I thought how much that meant to me. I always saw him as family, but to be called his brother was really something special. To be actually wanted...I couldn't walk away from that. I would go on to Terminus with them. I would deal with Anton and then I would have a talk with Beth and sort out what was going on with us. Maybe it wasn't meant to be, but I still cared about the girl, and I could put up with the shit she made me feel as long as she was safe.

"Hey, what you did last night anybody would have done that." I tried to reassure the still shaken Rick.

"No, not that." Rick disagreed.

"Something happened."

Yeah something happened. His survival instincts kicked in. It was something I would do. Hell I almost did do the same to Len. I only wish I had thought to gut the fucker first.

"That ain't you."

"Daryl, you saw what I did to Tyreese...It ain't all of it, but that's me. That's why I'm here now. That's why Carl is. I want to keep him safe. That's all that matters."

You did what you had to for the people you _loved_. And I'm pretty sure that's why I had done it.

* * *

After we were all cleaned up we continued on from the road to a nearby rail line. We weren't all that far out from Terminus and I was getting anxious about seeing Beth again, and how I would handle Anton.

Rick wanted to leave the rail and go through the woods to case the joint first. It all looked pretty calm and quiet, possibly as safe as the prison. But we still buried the weapons we had pulled off Joe's men by the fence line, just in case. We were all suspicious about new people after the types we had met on the road.

We scaled the fence and entered a door to a large warehouse full of people painting signs to Terminus. A woman was sitting by a microphone saying the radio message that we heard on the way to the vet school.

"Terminus those who arrive survive. Follow the tracks to the point where all lines intersect. There are maps at the crossings to help guide you with your journey. Sanctuary for all. Community for all. Those who arrive , sanctuary for all. Community for all."

"Hello?" Rick called, interrupting the speech.

"Well, I bet Albert is on perimeter watch." Called a clean cut looking guy...well as clean as you could be in a world thats gone to shit.  
"You here to rob us?"

"No." Rick replied. "We wanted to see you before you saw us."

"Makes sense." The guy said with a shrug. He started approaching us cautiously.

"Usually we do this where the tracks meet." he cleared his throat.

"Welcome to Terminus" He opened his arms out placatingly.

His name was Gareth, and I took him to be the leader type. He asked us to lower our weapons which we did and then they frisked us. I was relieved that they let us have the weapons back when done. But my hackles were raised.

Another man, his name was Alex, took us around the front way, where it all looked perfect, too perfect. There were flowers and crops growing, a place to wash clothes and the place was filled with people, but no Beth. Alex took us to a woman stabdig by a grill.

"Hi." she called in an eerily friendly manner. "Heard you came in the back door. Smart. You'll fit right in here."

"Hey, Mary, would you fix each of these new folks a plate for me?" Alex asked the woman.

"Why do you do it? Why do you let people in?" Michonne asked warily.

"The more people become a part of us, we get stronger." Alex strolled over and collected a plate of meat from the griller.

I didn't like the feel of this place. It was too good. Too nice. Too friendly. Too fake.

Rick was also looking about the place suspiciously. I spotted my Poncho earlier that Maggie and the others must have grabbed from the prison, but I couldn't see any of our people anywhere. Reading Ricks body language, he was going to make a move, and I would follow suit.

Rick pulled his gun and pointed it at Alex. Michonne, Carl and I followed Rick drawing our weapons. Rick demanded to know where our people were. The lying sack of shit, Gareth, appeared and tried saying they never came here, and came up with some far out excuses as to why they had all their gear, which none of us were buying.

Rick spun Alex around just as the Terminus people opened fire. We were all under fire now and made our way back to the warehouse we had entered from.

As we ran away I heard Gareth shout "Push A."

They were organised, and they had a plan.

We ran through the buildings with the fire at our feet. It was clear they were trying to control our path like a rabbit into a trap. When I spotted the 'A' on the door we were entering I knew we were heading exactly where they wanted us to.

We came upon a room lit by candles, with a message scrawled across the wall reading 'Never again. Never trust. We first, always.' There were dozens of names written on the floor. People they had lost?

We left the place and found ourselves outside again with freight containers spotted all over the place. I thought I could hear yelling from inside them. Was one of them Beth? We had no time to check it out now, we needed to get out of here and back to our other weapons before we could help anyone. We made a try at the fence but were met with a line of snipers. They had won, we were trapped.

Gareth ordered us to drop our weapons and, one by one, enter a nearby train car, which was also painted with the letter A.

We all stepped inside and the door was pulled shut behind us, with a finalising clang. I could feel the warmth of bodies and the smell of stale breath. I knew we weren't alone in there. My eyes adjusted to the light and I recognised the other bodies in there with us.

Glenn, Maggie, Sasha, and Bob all stepped forward. I was somewhat relived despite the world of shit we were in. There were more people behind them. Two women and two men I hadn't seen before, stepped forward, but there was no Beth.

"Where's Beth?" I asked, turning to Maggie.

"She went looking for you." Maggie replied with a puzzled look on her face.

I searched through the faces again.

"And Anton?"

"He went after her. Said he was gonna bring her back, but they never showed up. Probably a good thing hey?" She gave a nervous chuckle.

What was I going to say to her now? Should I tell her who Anton really was, and what he was capable of? It wasn't going to achieve nothing. It would just make her stress, and we were already in enough shit as it was. I didn't know what had happened with her. I didn't know if Anton would rape her, or kill her, or if Beth would have got away from him. I didn't even know if Anton had found her out there. All I knew was that she wasn't here, and that may just be a good thing.

I threw my back against the side of the train car and put my shaking hands to my thighs trying to control them in front of the others, fearing for Beth was a burden I didn't want to share.

Rick was watching me with concern. I wondered if he had remembered what Joe had said about Anton, back before he killed him.

"Daryl?" He spoke in a questioning tone of concern.

"She's gone Rick. She's just gone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know this is a very unsatisfying ending. We can blame the writers of 'The walking dead' for that, but it means I am all caught up to twist the storyline next season. (I really hope Beth isn't with rapists because I don't want to do that to her twice!)
> 
> I have got some other stuff I was going to use incase one or both of them died (which thankfully they didn't). I may or may not publish that as a separate story...I may save it for next season.
> 
> I will go back over this story and fix up the punctuation and grammar, and plot holes, and work on making Daryl more Daryl and Beth more Beth, but the storyline wont change (Unless someone points out some major, unfixable problems).  
> Please comment your critiques and suggestions. I love negative feedback, its the only way to get better, but don't be nasty!


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